I Can Turn into a Fish

“Two thousand each?”

“Does it say two thousand?”

The girls saw the numbers and gasped, looking at Chu Xian in surprise.

“Boss, did you write this right? One for two thousand? Did you mean a tank for two thousand?”

“There’s no mistake – two thousand for one!” Chu Xian said with a smile. “All of them are top quality goldfish, very rare.”

“Handsome bro, two thousand? One for thousand? Are they made of gold?” One of the girls looked at him, confused.

“There’s no mistake. I just sold six!” Chu Xian said with a chuckle.

“This…” the girls shared a glance and smiled bitterly, saying, “Aren’t your goldfish too expensive? How could they be this expensive? Can’t you make them cheaper?”

“Heh,” Chu Xian laughed and didn’t reply.

“Ayy!” the girls sighed. They knew a discount was impossible just from his expression; even it was possible, there was no way he’d lower the price to tens of RMB.

“Too expensive. Way too expensive! I’ll just take some pictures!” the cute girl said with a depressed look, taking out her phone to snap some photos. The other girls followed suit and also took out their phones.

“I’ll post a video in my Moments and show my friends these expensive goldfish!”

“My post is going to say, ‘if you buy me a whole tank of these goldfish, I’ll be your girlfriend!’ Haha! I won’t tell them the price!”

“Qing Qing! You can’t trick people like that! If the boys chasing you see this, they’re going to spit blood!”

“Heng (1)! If they want to chase this lady, they’ll need some real style to woo me!”

As the girls chattered on the side, Chu Xian’s face blackened, praying silently for those boys.

“Boss, can I pick up this tank and take a photo?” the tall and slender girl asked shyly.

“Sure. Just don’t drop it!” Chu Xian replied with a nod.

“Hehe!” the girl laughed with a happy nod. “Relax boss, I’m not going to drop it. It’s worth more than I am! Come, girls, take some photos for me!”

“Su Ya, if you can’t afford the fish then just keep company with the boss. Maybe he won’t make you pay!”

“You’re dead, you idiot! Just take the photo quickly! You’re so annoying!”

Chu Xian smiled on the side as the girls chattered and laughed together.

The four girls left after a while. Though he didn’t make a sale, Chu Xian didn’t really mind. He continued to play with his phone. Several groups of people came in and out, but all of them backed out when they saw the pricing.

Most of the customers took photos and paid special focus to the price tags on the fish tanks.

In his network of people who used WeChat Moments, Chu Xian’s small shop was gradually being noticed.

“Welcome, come in and look around!” Chu Xian said when he noticed someone come in. He glanced up and then turned back to his ornamental fish reading.

“Tsk tsk. Everything transformed in a day!”

A familiar voice swept through the shop and Chu Xian was stunned for a second; raising his head, Chu Xian saw the Witch with a huge smile. “Welcome, beauty. Come in, sit. Sit! Do you want anything to drink?”

“Eh,” Xiao Xiao was a little dumbfounded at Chu Xian’s attentiveness. “No thanks, I’m just here to look at your goldfish today.”

“Heh. Look around. All the goldfish are here – let me introduce you!” Chu Xian approached her. He was so attentive not because he was interested in her or because he thought she would make a purchase, but because he still wanted to use her popularity to advertise his fish online. If she helped him, he knew he’d definitely get more customers.

“No need. I’ve had goldfish before, and I have some understanding of Panda Goldfish, Phoenix Tail, Twelve-Red Goldfish etc. You can just continue doing what you were doing,” Xiao Xiao replied with some wariness, carefully looking at the enthusiastic Chu Xian.

“Okay, take a look. If you like anything, I can give you a discount!” Chu Xian smiled. He just needed to establish a good rapport with her before attempting anything else.

Xiao Xiao smiled complacently. “Alright. I’ll look around!”

Xiao Xiao and Xiao Man approached a tank and looked at the goldfish.

“Xiao Xiao. They really are more beautiful than yours!”

Xiao Xiao glared at her, slightly upset. “I don’t need you to tell me that!” She turned back to the goldfish with a face full of interest.

“Xiao Xiao, are you really going to buy some? They’re so expensive!” Xiao Man asked after a while.

“Buy? Why should I buy?” Xiao Xiao smirked. She straightened and looked at Chu Xian. “Handsome bro, how about you give me some goldfish for free?”

“Free?” Chu Xian didn’t know what to say. With a troubled expression he said, “Beauty, you know my goldfish are worth two thousand each. Just the base cost is at least 1900!”

“Then forget it. If you don’t want to give me any, I don’t them!” Xiao Xiao shook her head, disappointed. “Xiao Man, let’s go. These goldfish are too expensive!”

“En. En. Too expensive, I definitely can’t afford them!” Xiao Man echoed. Xiao Man understood her friend very well and could sense that Xiao Xiao had another one of her ideas.

“This…” Chu Xian said, dumbfounded for a moment. As they began to leave, he raised his hand and said, “This. Beauty, if you really want one, I can give you this one!”

Xiao Man was stunned for a second. She then whispered to Xiao Xiao, “Xiao Xiao, he might have fallen for you. Now he wants to chase you!”

“That might be true!” Xiao Xiao said with sparkling eyes, very satisfied with her own charm.

“But, you need to help me advertise online!” Chu Xian’s voice sounded out again.

Xiao Xiao’s face turned black, and she angrily said, “Just one lousy fish and you want me to advertise for you? Don’t even think about it!”

“Well…” Chu Xian looked at her awkwardly. He said, “Then name a price. How many fish for your advertisement?”

Xiao Xiao’s mouth twitched, and she understood now why he was so attentive before.

“Five. If you give me five goldfish, I’ll advertise for you!” Xiao Xiao said greedily, giving off the impression of a lion gaping its mouth.

“Five!” Chu Xian exclaimed and was silent for a while. Then he nodded, “Fine. Five. But I hope you talk about my goldfish on your stream!”

Xiao Xiao was a little stunned when he agreed. With a surprised look, she nodded her head, saying with a smile, “Okay. You said it yourself – five goldfish. You can’t take it back!”

“I won’t take it back. If you advertise for me right now, I’ll give you the goldfish immediately!” Chu Xian said, nodding. These fish cost him nearly nothing; giving five of them in exchange for more exposure could only benefit him.

“Hmm… Okay!” Xiao Xiao said with curled lips, taking out her phone. “I’ll do a stream on Fast Hands and advertise for you right now!”

Translator’s Thoughts

 Aristophaneso

(1): to groan, snort or hum.