Chapter 799
Chapter 799: Chapter 14 Good Things Come in Pairs (Extra for Alliance Leader Big Dumb Clock Courier!)_4 Chapter 799: Chapter 14 Good Things Come in Pairs (Extra for Alliance Leader Big Dumb Clock Courier!)_4 Seeing that the situation had reached a stalemate,
Uncle Wei Shengjin knew
that it was his moment to shine.
As if a beam of light shone down, he stood up in its brilliance and cleared his throat:
“Cough cough cough!
Ahem!”
After catching the attention of the two young people, he smiled peacefully:
“Kids, you two have no experience in love and marriage, but I do!
My love and I are deeply affectionate, a model couple for decades with few squabbles, truly sweet and inseparable, stuck to each other like glue.”
“When you encounter difficulties, why not seek the wisdom of the elderly?
They say having an elder in the house is like having a treasure, isn’t it time for me to show my value?
Don’t worry, young lady, young man…”
Wei Shengjin chuckled.
With his left hand, he took Lin Xian’s hand, and with his right, he took CC’s hand, intertwined them, and held tightly:
“Leave it to me!
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I’ll coach you, using my love and me as a model, on how to play a loving couple!
I guarantee that Er Zhuzi won’t spot any flaws!”
Seeing his enthusiasm,
Lin Xian hurriedly waved his hands:
“No need, really, there’s no need, Teacher Wei.”
“That Er Zhuzi isn’t as tough as you think; actually, no acting skills are needed at all.
Just mentioning the words ‘little sister’ is enough to get Er Zhuzi excited.”
“In fact, I don’t even have to say anything myself, he’ll fill in the blanks…
As long as I don’t deny my relationship with CC, Er Zhuzi will definitely imagine CC as my little sister, and treat me as a brother he’s been dying to meet.”
Looking at Uncle Wei Shengjin getting even more fired up, Lin Xian had to cool him down.
So he turned to CC:
“CC, right?
There’s really no need for any spousal roleplay.”
However,
to his surprise,
CC looked down at the hands Wei Shengjin held together, struggled for a bit, and then finally looked up at Lin Xian:
“For safety’s sake, maybe…
maybe we should practice a bit.
Let’s listen to Teacher Wei and see how a real couple would act.”
Lin Xian tilted his head:
“Huh?”
…
Forty minutes later, at the entrance of Lian Village,
Lin Xian slowly walked toward the village gate.
Whoosh!
Er Zhuzi, with his Red Tassel Spear, glaring fiercely, demanded:
“Who goes there!”
“Big brother, hold on.”
Lin Xian quickly responded:
“I’m just a wanderer, looking to join our village and settle down here.”
“Hmph.”
Er Zhuzi, cold as ice, gave Lin Xian a nasty look:
“Our Lian Village doesn’t take in outsiders, move along, go where it’s cooler!”
“Ah…
oh dear, ho…
husband.”
All of a sudden,
a woman, shaky like a toddler learning to walk, barely able to move straight, stumbled over and ‘plop’, she clung to Lin Xian’s arm.
Then, extremely awkwardly, she yanked Lin Xian’s arm, clinging onto it, or rather cuffed herself to it, and began reciting as if by rote:
“You walk so fast…
why?
I can’t…
keep up…
anymore.”
Ah…
Lin Xian inwardly cried out about this Waterloo of life.
Never had he seen such atrocious acting.
To those who knew, it was clear CC was trying her best to play the role of a wife.
To those who didn’t, she might as well have been a ghost come calling.
Lin Xian looked at CC with an utterly regretful and disappointed gaze, conveying a silent message that “you’d better not act at all.”
Frankly,
such contrived acting would be better off not done at all, even the truth could be portrayed as false.
It was evident.
Wei Shengjin’s lover must have been the clingy, cutesy type, fond of acting spoiled and sticky.
Teaching someone else to act should also be tailored to the individual’s nature.
CC clearly wasn’t that kind of girl, her posing as such appeared truly cringeworthy.
Just as Lin Xian was about to explain something to Er Zhuzi—
Whoosh!!
Two streams of steam blasted out of Er Zhuzi’s nostrils!
Dropping his Red Tassel Spear, stepping on his Wind-Fire Wheels, Er Zhuzi rushed madly in front of Lin Xian, grasping his hands tightly:
“Is she your little sister!?”
Lin Xian felt the scorching steam almost cooking him:
“Ah, yes, yes, yes.”
“Good brother!
Why didn’t you say so sooner!”
Er Zhuzi slapped Lin Xian’s shoulder, hugging him as if they were lost brothers:
“Joining Lian Village is great, it’s promising!
Come on, come on, I’ll take you to meet Big Brother!”
They reached Big Face Cat’s house along the way.
Er Zhuzi even summoned Ah Zhuang and San Pang, who were fiddling with the safe, seemingly ready to dive straight into the voting process.
“My brother!
I trust him!”
Er Zhuzi, thumping his chest, solemnly assured Big Face Cat:
“Big Brother, let this young man and his wife join our Lian Village!”
Big Face Cat sat on his firewood throne, stroking his chin, frowning as he looked at Lin Xian and CC:
“Hmm…”
He pondered:
“Lian Village doesn’t keep idlers, what special skills do you have?”
Lin Xian was about to say, if nothing else works, I’ll just flip some more somersaults.
But Er Zhuzi, preemptively stepping in front of Lin Xian, blocked him:
“Big Brother, where’s your keen insight!
These two are clearly talented, do they really need any special skills!
𝑛𝗈𝘃𝕘𝘰.co
Just look, a handsome man and a beautiful woman, that’s the biggest skill!
Ah Zhuang, what do you think?”
Ah Zhuang, seeing a beauty like CC meticulously carved from jade, was completely stunned, and his words jumbled:
“Celebration…
the spring of the fourth year of the Qingli era, Teng Zijing was exiled to guard Baling Prefecture, and the next year…”
Bang.
Big Face Cat slapped the firewood:
“What nonsense are you spouting!”
“Ah.”
Ah Zhuang came back to his senses, wiped the corner of his mouth, and said to Big Face Cat:
“Wasn’t that what your dad taught us in class back then…
I don’t know why, it just came to mind.”
“I agree!
Er Zhuzi is right, these two, handsome and pretty, even doing nothing but standing there, can stimulate our brainpower…
Joining our village is definitely a boon!”
San Pang unexpectedly raised his hand: