642 I Love My Wife Being Petty
“I never thought of the King of Abetha as my father. He never treated me like a daughter, and I never had a single memory of him showing fatherly affection to me. To me, he’s more a name, a title of a person, but never a father,” she said without a change in her expression, as if she was narrating someone else’s story. “Does that disappoint you?”
She merely felt Drayce’s arms tightened around her, silently encouraging her, telling her everything was fine.
Her voice broke as she continued to speak.
“I know there must be a reason why I was treated differently. I’m no longer an ignorant child. I understood that he wanted me to keep me hidden but…but could he not show me he loves me as his daughter? Even if secretly, even a little, could he not show that I am of some importance to him?”
As she reached this point, her voice started to quiver, as if she was trying her best not to cry.
“If he didn’t want me, why even allow me to enter the palace? He could have let me live the life of a commoner outside, blissfully unaware of my roots, living a simple life. But no, I was brought up to the palace as an infant and then neglected thereafter.
“Not only didn’t I have a mother, I also didn’t have a father. I only have Martha to care for me, and everyone else hates me. Others questioned my existence in the palace. Well, I also question why I am locked up here like a prisoner.
“Am I really his daughter? I feel like I am nothing but some orphan whimsically raised by King Armen like a pet. The tower is my cage and my nanny the caretaker.”
A laugh escaped her lips, sounding more sorrowful than a cry.
“What’s unfair is that I see how he treats his other children. Today especially, I…”
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“Is it wrong for me to still feel jealous to see him shower my siblings with affection? Is it wrong for me to expect something from him? And is it wrong to reject him when he comes to me?”
As her voice started to rise, her shoulders began shaking.
“It’s too late. Too late for him to act this way,” she said as she bitterly laughed. “Maybe I do want him to show affection, but at the same time, I do not want to accept it. If he wants to neglect me, he should consistently ignore my existence. Why is he…? Why am I…? Haa, I can’t understand why I am like this. Am I wrong to be like this?”
“You are not wrong, Seren,” Drayce finally spoke. He gently caressed her arms, trying to calm her down. “Why do you think you are in the wrong? Do you think your own feelings do not matter?”
“No, it’s just…”
“Our emotions are neither good nor bad. The things we feel tell us more about ourselves and those around us. It means there is always a reason, even if you do not understand them,” Drayce said in a matter-of-factly manner, his tone allowing her to regain her composure.
“Yet for me to feel that way towards the King of Abetha—”
“You can’t change that he is your father even if you want to deny it. Expecting something from your own father is not wrong either,” he said, cutting her off. “When you rejected him, I supported your decision. You are angry and upset with him, and I understand that. You have to know though that people get angry and upset only about those we think are important to us. Only the important people in our life can hurt us because we can ignore others who don’t matter. You are hurt, because you have expectations. Your father failed to meet your expectations and you have a right to be upset with him.”
Seren could not deny what Drayce said. Others who had hurt her didn’t matter to her and she forgot her anger about them, but the King of Abetha…
“You are right, Dray. Maybe deep inside, a part of me still holds expectations of my father.”
“So don’t think much and be more honest to yourself. If you want to talk to him, then go ahead, and if you want to reject him, you are free to do that. My wife can do whatever she wants and acts the way she wants. The rest, I will handle it for you. Even if you end up angering or offending people, you have your handsome husband to back you up.”
That last line caused an unexpected chuckle to escape her lips. “I won’t do anything useless as I am a queen now.”
“Oh so you know you are a queen?” He kissed the top of her head. “You are a queen, a powerful queen. I am not saying you misuse your power—I know you won’t ever do that—but know that if someone offends you, the entire Kingdom of Megaris is behind you. Let’s see which insane buffoon dares make you upset. So, you don’t need to hold yourself back and give people what you think they deserve. Understood?”
A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “I will keep that in mind.”
“Well, I see you are already doing it, my Queen. These days, you are making me feel proud of you.”
“When did I?”
“During the meal with your family, and even today at the banquet, when you dealt with annoyance in an amusing way.”
She turned around to look at his smiling face. “Were you proud? I thought you would think I am being petty.”
The smile on his handsome face broadened. “I love my wife being petty. Keep doing it.”
Seren mirrored his smile behind her veil. “Then I won’t stop being petty.”
With her mood finally stabilized, she thought about something and asked, “Dray, can I ask you something?”
“Yes, my Queen?”
“If your mother happens to come across you one day, what will you do?”
The question startled him. Drayce studied her lovely purple eyes, and seeing she asked it out of pure curiosity, he could not answer her right away.
What would he do once he finds his mother? He never thought about it clearly. He only wanted to find her—it was that singular goal that kept him going for years ever since she disappeared.
Would he ask her why she left him? Maybe ask why didn’t she take him with her and leave him by himself? Didn’t she love him? Missed him all these years?
What was she doing all these years? Didn’t she wish to come and see him at least once. How could her heart be of stone, to not want to see her own son?
There were countless questions he kept in his heart, but…above all, what was important was to find her first.
Drayce decided to be honest with Seren.
“I never thought about it. All I wanted was to search for her.”
“Won’t you ask her to come stay with you?”
“I won’t,” he said. “If she could come back, she would have done it on her own. There should be no need for me to ask.”
Though his tone was light, Seren could feel how conflicted her husband was. A moment ago, it was him consoling her and now he himself looked like he needed consolation.
Both of their situations regarding their parents were scarily similar.
Drayce had never seen his birth father while Seren had never seen her birth mother. His mother left him though she loved him, while her father never loved her though he was around her.