441 Do You Think So Lowly Of Me?
Please read everything said by Theron carefully so it will help you get answers in the coming chapters and understand him as well.
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“Thanks to the King’s benevolence, my young son recovered from the plague!”
“Water has returned to the wells! Our Kingdom of Megaris is saved!”
“The dragon heeded the call of the King and has blessed the kingdom!”
“All hail the royal family!”
“All hail King Theron!”
It was announced that the worship ritual carried out in the temple was a success and that the divine dragon protecting the Ivanov Family pitied the suffering people and thus decided to return the water back to the kingdom and cure the plague. No one knew anything about the curse and what exactly happened apart from the High Priest and the royalty present in the temple that day.
While the entire kingdom was in a joyous mood, the lives of the two most important people in the kingdom were thrown into the abyss of heartache.
The King didn’t come out of his bedchamber for the entire day and the Queen was not even present in the palace.
Without the King and Queen to hold the reins of the palace, the bewildered court officials had to turn to the only royalty capable of making decisions, Queen Theodora. She got the news that her son refused to leave his chamber and she knew the exact reason why. Though she was worried about her son and her daughter-in-law, she was also equally worried for the kingdom.
Thanks to Esther’s spell, the health of King Esteban became stable and thus Queen Theodora was able to be assured of leaving him to temporarily take over the King’s duties in the royal palace. In the absence of the King and the Queen, the older woman took charge of important matters that needed to be handled.
Afterwards, Queen Theodora released an official statement that she would act as regent to the King until King Theron resumes his duties. News had spread that after the holy ritual, both the King and the Queen were exhausted and needed ample rest, calming down the worries of both the nobles and the common folks.
And while the real world continued to move around him, the world of the man locking himself up inside the King’s chamber had remained still and lifeless.
For the next couple of days, King Theron remained inside his residence, not even seen stepping out of his bedchamber, and only his personal servant was allowed to enter to look after his needs.
His guardian knight, Sir Galien, would report to the King’s mother from time to time about the King’s worrying situation. After three days, Queen Theodora thought she had given her son enough time to think on his own.
After taking care of the important matters related to the royal court, Queen Theodora finally thought of seeing her son.
Someone knocked on the door of the King’s chamber. It was the personal servant of King Theron, announcing her arrival to the King. “Your Majesty, the Lady Regent is here to see you. She is currently waiting in the drawing room. Should I bring her up?”
There was no response from the King.
When the servant decided to enter his bedchamber, he found the young king sitting on his armchair, looking outside the huge glass window of his room, seemingly staring blankly at the snow-covered mountain in the North.
“Your Majesty?”
Realizing that the King was ignoring him, the servant who had been serving him since childhood understood what was in the best interest of his master—that he should let the previous queen meet his son.
The servant went out and brought in the Lady Regent with him. Queen Theodora entered the chamber, and the loyal servant respectfully closed the door behind him as he left, informing the other servants as well of her orders not to disturb them.
“Theron?” She called for her son, but he neither reacted to her entry nor her voice. It was the first time since he learned royal etiquette that he didn’t bow or greet his mother, but she didn’t call him out for it. The older woman approached him and quietly sat in the chair next to him that also faced the window but was slightly turned in his direction.
She looked outside where her son was staring. It was a familiar sight, but there was nothing to be seen there. Perhaps, what he was seeing was not something she could begin to imagine.
When Queen Theodora came to visit her son, she already had thought of the words of rebuke she would tell him. She wanted to scold him, since he had purposely shut himself despite knowing the weight of his responsibilities to the kingdom, among other things. However, the moment she saw his cold emotionless face, all the words she prepared seemed to have vanished into thin air.
Queen Theodora accompanied him in silence.
After a while, she spoke softly, “Theron, my son, I know you are in pain. What you are going through is something no man should go through but…but life shouldn’t stop here. You have to face reality and accept what has happened already.”
There was no reply from him, and the older lady continued, “Blame us. If you blame your wife, you have to blame your father and me as well. We are all guilty for what happened and we will accept your anger. You can choose to punish us anyway you want.”
Queen Theodora turned to gaze at her unresponsive son, and her heart broke all over again. Her appearance was neat, but one could not hide the fatigue on her pale face. It was obvious that for the last few days, the middle-aged woman also hadn’t slept well. Though she acted tough outside, she was merely pretending to be strong since no one else but her could carry the current weight of responsibility of the Ivanovs.
Her son, her daughter-in-law, and her husband, the three of them were too overwhelmed by their grief and guilt to even care for other people. However, that didn’t mean Queen Theodora was not feeling guilty as well. It was just that she was forced to be strong for her family.
“Your father…” Queen Theodora let out a heavy sigh, “The guilt is too much for him to bear that he seems to be giving up on living.”
Her last words were like a wake-up call for King Theron, and he looked at his mother with wide eyes. The voice that came out of his mouth was weak and rough, as if he hadn’t used his throat to speak for days.
“Father? What happened to Father…?”
The previous queen met his gaze. “How can your father be fine after doing something he knows will cause you pain?”
King Theron didn’t know what to say and chose to be silent. His hands, however, were balled into tight fists. He was angry. No, he was furious. The fury he felt inside was burning every bit of him—his body, his rationality, even what goodwill he had within him. He felt the urge to destroy everything and everyone since nothing seemed to matter to him anymore, but he didn’t know how to vent those ugly feelings out.
Did he blame his parents?
Was he angry at them?
But what good would telling them that do to him? Would it rewind time? Would that change things? Regardless of how he reacted to what happened, what had been done could never be undone.
He heard her mother continue to speak, “Your anger is valid and I won’t ask you to forgive us ever for it. But Es—”
“I don’t want to hear that name!” he sharply interrupted his mother.
“Fine,” she replied, sensing the atmosphere getting tense. Her gaze turned towards sight outside the window. “Just answer me one thing: why are you upset with her?”
Not hearing a reply from him, she sighed, “Is it because your wife chose to spend a night with someone else, even though you know of the circumstances?”
The bitter laugh that echoed within the chamber sounded more painful to hear than if her son had cried in front of her.
“Do you think so lowly of me, Mother?”
A sense of shame flooded Queen Theodora, but before she could say a word, she heard him continue, “I, who have a concubine and had slept with her to get an heir for this kingdom, I have no right to be upset with her just because she…” He snapped his mouth close, no longer continuing his sentence.
His mother put her hand on his. “Son, I wish to know what is on your mind. Don’t just keep it to yourself. It will only suffocate you.”
“Nothing can help me get rid of this suffocating, Mother. Nothing…”
“Don’t say that. Mother is here with you. Try to talk to me, and I will also try my best to listen,” she told him softly. Her own voice turned shaky due to overflowing emotions. “You know she has done it to save your life…”
“This is the life she chose for me? What kind of life is this?” he scoffed as he pulled his hand away from his mother. “I would have rather preferred to die than live like this.”
“Theron—”
“I would rather be a king who sacrificed himself than be a husband who has sacrificed his wife to save his kingdom. I would rather accept being damned for eternity! At least, I would have departed from this world with peace of mind, knowing I protected the ones I loved with my own two hands. But this? Should I be thankful to be alive like this? I can’t even protect my own wife! This shameful life is called living? This is worse than being cursed. I am no different from those good-for-nothing kings in history—”
“Theron, you are a good king, possibly the best king this kingdom could ever have—”
“No, Mother,” he snapped. “The moment I sat on this throne, I pledged to save my people, my kingdom, even at the cost of my life. I would have never sacrificed any of my subjects, let alone my wife.”
“Theron…”
“Do you think I am foolish? Do you find my trampled pride foolish, Mother?”
“No, it’s not that—”
The young man let out a groan as he covered his face with his hands. “I…I told her to wait for me. I told her to not do anything until I return. But…But I am so foolishly in love with her that I trusted her so much, to the point that I forgot who she really is…I…I, a mere human, can only be protected over and over again. I thought when I married her, I would finally have a chance to protect her… but I am just a weak helpless human after all”
Queen Theodora’s eyes widened. “Theron…did you know…how long have you known who she is…?”
When his dark eyes turned to face his mother, she found them red-rimmed.
“I am her husband. How can I not know, Mother?”