Why Did You Summon Me?

“Give me back my Saber!” The Hero of Justice bellowed furiously.

This reaction cracked Baiyi up a little. With a smile, he directly asked, “How do you expect to win without the help of a Servant? Do you really think I won’t kill you?”

“Hmph! There’s something you don’t know about our Emiya family; we are filled with heroes!” The Hero of Justice cried.

He cast his jacket aside and activated his Bounded Field, turning the area around Baiyi into “Noble Phantasm”. It seemed incredibly deadly, but if one closely examined Baiyi’s ripples, they would realize that he was pelting them with woks, pails, buckets, bowls, plates, blankets, bedding, feather dusters, chalks — things that could be found at a hardware store and bookshop, not weapons like swords and spears.

These were the household items that Baiyi had kept in his storage pouch for years, using for his day-to-day activities. This spectacle was nothing more than a trick Baiyi came up with. In reality, Baiyi had hidden his storage pouch behind a golden shroud made using light and illusion magic.

In reality, Baiyi only had three weapons: the Saint Quartz Staff, the War God’s sword, and the Book of Servitude. The Saint Quartz staff was nothing more than an oily green staff — thanks to the Lich Walker — and the War God’s sword, which had no power, was worth no more than a stick. The only useful weapon he had was the Book of Servitude; using it for these people would be too cruel of him.

Although this “Noble Phantasm” was just a trick and waste of time, Baiyi was still okay doing it. He had finally gotten the chance to visit Earth, albeit an alternate one; what kind of father would he be if he did not bring souvenirs back for his kids at home? Now that he had emptied his storage pouch, he could fill it up with things he intended to take back home!

What should he take home, though? Baiyi wanted something simple, so he decided to buy a pack of 40cm butterfly-wing Night Safe sanitary pad. This item, which would be regarded as a luxury in the world of the Voidwalkers, should definitely delight the girls. [1]

Baiyi was just considering whether or not to rob a supermarket when the man in the red tuxedo finally made his appearance.

He was, without a doubt, Baiyi’s final enemy — the Master of the Archer-class Servant!

“Hmph, Teacher-class Servant? All I see is a clown performing at a circus!” The man in the red tuxedo sneered when he saw the ground littered with household items. “Before my Archer, you’re nothing!”

The man dropped down to his knees and said, “O great Archer, punish this person by ushering in his demise!”

Baiyi tensed up. ‘This is it — the Servant-class with the highest number of ridiculously overpowered units!

This was not the only reason why Baiyi was alert. This alternate Earth possessed its own will called Gaia, which uses a metaphysical force called Deterrent Force to protect itself. As a being with more individual power than any other entity in this world, Baiyi was, without a doubt, considered a planetary-level threat; hence, in order to preserve its inhabitants, it was certain that Gaia would aid the man in the red tuxedo summon the mightiest Archer-class Servant, which would be a perfect opponent for Baiyi!

If Baiyi were to make the summoned Archer-class Servant, who had a great number of fans, look bad, he would be inciting the ire of something even more terrifying than the will of this Earth. [2]

Baiyi’s mind was racing when a faint ripple appeared in the air, and a figure appeared out of nowhere, just where the ripple had been moments ago. This figure had a haughty smile on its face. Just as Baiyi’s mind was racing, the air started to ripple very faintly before a figure gradually

The figure was not the shiny, golden-plate gay king! It was a beautiful little girl in a white dress. She was holding onto a bow!

‘This is the best opponent this so-called “Deterrent Force of Gaia” could come up with? Did this supposedly canonical rule become useless because everyone forgot about its existence?’

“Ohhh! It’s my Big Sister!” Little Anna, who was trying hard to hold on to the top of the wall, cried out. She moved about so passionately that Santa, who was once again carrying her friend, exclaimed, “Ouch oww oww! D-don’t prance around! I’m gonna.. I’m gonna f-f-faaaaaalllll!”

Her knees gave away, and both girls she crashed onto the grass. When they hit the ground, both girls rolled down the grass, akin to two cubs playing with each other.

“Aha! Is Big Meanie finally going to fight the strongest Archer-class Servant ever? Oh yes!” The dark-skinned loli got very excited and pulled her Berserker to the wall distancing themselves from the area. The loli then climbed atop the Berserker’s shoulders, ready to watch the big showdown.

When Blanket and the loli assassin heard this, they, too, rushed towards the wall and stood on their tiptoes, trying to look over it. They were discussing loudly about how epic the battle would be when Baiyi walked out the door. In his hand was the Archer-class Servant, who was already unconscious.

The dark-skinned loli turned pale. “B-but my intel states… my intel states that the Archer-class Servant is the strongest one of us! She’s truly as the legends make her out to be, a true goddess! There was no way she could have been so easily…”

“Big~ Sister~!” Before the dark-skinned loli could finish, Anna lunged forward and grabbed the loli Archer-class Servant, who was close to her in age, from Baiyi’s hands.

Baiyi, on the other hand, was still stunned. He had been this way since the Archer-class made her appearance. He found himself questioning the level of this Earth’s intelligence, seeing as it decided to sic a loli on the overpower Baiyi, who was a planetary-level threat.

The loli Archer-class Servant had only her cuteness going for her. However, this same cuteness was something Baiyi could easily ignore, thus making it worthless.

The girls back on the Voidwalker’s world knew this as well.

“Alright, girls, come over. There is something important I would like to talk about,” Baiyi announced, looking at the little girls. ‘This Holy Grail War is really wack,’ He thought to himself. ‘Not only did the timeline and events change, but the Servants also do not possess sufficient battle prowess. They are just cute.

‘I didn’t join a war; I joined an item-collecting game.’

“We may have spent a pretty short amount of time together, but I think it’s been a delightful experience. Wouldn’t you agree? After a few days of study, I am proud to announce that I completely understand everything behind the Holy Grail and its construction, which was enough for me to end the war in my way. I can assure you all that you will return to the Throne of Heroes without harm. The only regret I have is the fact that no one would be able to make a wish,” Baiyi said. “So, I was thinking… maybe you should tell me your dreams, and I’ll see if I can make them come true.”

The girl who had the most animosity towards Baiyi, Blanket, spoke first. Her dream, which she had solemnly declared, was to become more mature. It was an easy dream to make come true. Baiyi beckoned her over with a wave of his hand, and when she was close enough, he headbutted her. The moment his forehead made contact with hers, he used Memory Exchange to share a bit of his life experience with her.

As she was a spirit, it was understandable that such an unsophisticated method like this worked.

“Urgh, my head! So many memories are in my head! Wait, what are these? The most auspicious time of a day to summon a character? How to summon the character you desire when the special summoning banners first came out? How to speedrun Chapter 7? What are — wait… There’s more,” Blanket exclaimed. “Yes, there’s… this,” Blanket muttered and placed a finger on her forehead. Blanket’s eyes turned glassy for a moment.

A short while later, she murmured, “Is this my fate? Is this the fate of my country?”

“It’s cruel, I’ll admit. However, you’ll end up much wiser after experiencing it; believe me,” Baiyi replied.

Blanket was silent for a while before bowing respectfully. Her body began disintegrated into motes of golden light. Before she vanished, she suddenly blurted, “B-but what does ‘Being in last place in both Four-stars units Tier Lists and Five-Stars units Tier Lists’ mean? It feels terrible, but I don’t see how this particularly painful experience of being seen as inferior in this ‘tier list’ would help me grow wiser—”

She disintegrated completely before Baiyi could answer her. Baiyi hurriedly used one of the Lich’s spirit-controlling spells to bind her consciousness to a mug he had grabbed from the shelf closest to him.

“Mm-hmm, it really did work. Well, here we go — our Holy Grail!” Baiyi announced, waving the porcelain mug around.

“Um… That’s my brushing mug, isn’t it?” Little Anna muttered.

The other lolis did not have lofty dreams. Thier wishes were either very simple or very vague, and not even the girls themselves knew the details. When they had all gotten a chance to speak, Baiyi decided start from the simplest wish.

The Berserker’s wish was the simplest to achieve, and that was probably because she could not even speak. Thus, Baiyi simply cut off her magical energy supply and sent her back to the Throne of Heroes.

The Archer-class servant, who was still unconscious, was next. Baiyi did not wake her up, though; he simply severed her magical energy upkeep and sent her back home. If one were to ask Baiyi why he treated her so poorly, He would say that it was because she was just a Three-star character.

The assassin loli’s wish, which was to return to her mother’s womb, was something Baiyi could not grant, so he sent her home as well. As for his own Servant, who wished to never be betrayed, Baiyi filled her head with knowledge about trusting boys, suggesting that she find a female saber to make a life partner.

The violet-haired girl nodded, even though she was somewhat confused. She sttod on her toes to give Baiyi a warm hug, commemorating the short-lived yet enjoyable Holy Grail War. After that, Baiyi sent her home as well.

At this point, only Santa and Anna were left.

“What were your dreams again?” Baiyi asked, reach out to ruffle their hairs. Santa, who was more wary than the other, avoided Baiyi’s hand, but Anna, who was shy, stood still and allowed him to ruffle her hair.

“I… I don’t want to grow up,” Anna replied in a low voice.

“I want to watch the sea. Only after that do I want to transform into a bonafide Santa Claus,” Santa replied.

“Alright, now, lemme see… Huh? Oh, lookie here; we have five Servants already. Well, that would do,” Baiyi mumbled as he examined the mug in his hand, whilst counting with his free hand.

He did not need to bring forth the Great Grail in order to make a wish; all he needed was to puncture some holes between this reality and the Radix, through the paths created by the Heroic Sprits as they returned to the Throne of Heroes. These holes, in turn, allowed endless magical energy to flood into this reality, which Baiyi then directed to charge the War God Sword.

The entire operation did not require a lot of magical energy, and Baiyi was disinterested in trying to pass through these openings to reach their so-called ‘Vortex of Radix’.

That also meant that he could retain two of the items in his collection.

“Well, lemme be the one to make your wish come true! How about the two of you return to my true world with me. You’ll never have a need to grow up anymore, Anna; and you, Santa… Don’t you think I’m qualified to be Santa Claus? You could actually become my protégé.”

“W-what?” Both girls were startled.

“What, you don’t believe me? Ending the war without bloodshed, a dream that even the Holy Grail could not achieve, has been achieved by me. That means I’m mightier than the Grail itself! Doesn’t that also mean I’m a pretty good Santa Claus?” Baiyi tried even harder to fool the girls.

“Look, returning to the Throne of Heroes means returning to a life of idleness. Don’t you agree? Why don’t you go on an adventure with me, instead? There are a lot of marvelous things in the world I’m from, you know. There’s a lot of fun to be had, a lot of tasty confectionaries to eat, a lot beautiful clothes to wear, and a lot of big sisters to adore you. I’m sure you will have a wonderful time!” Baiyi said.

The lolis exhanged a glance and pondered for a while before nodding, albeit hesistantly.

Only the dark-skinned loli was left now.

“W-what do you want? I’ll be frank, mister; I’m not stupid, like those two. Fat chance if you think I’ll say yes to joining y—aaaahh!”

Before she could finish, Baiyi forcefully hoisted her onto his shoulder and tossed her into a bedroom, after which he bound her to the bed using his mana.

“G-gods! I knew it! You bastard, you waited till everyone was gone before you gave in to your carnal desire, didn’t you?” The dark-skinned burst into tears.

“Shh! I’m only going to examine the condition of your body, “Baiyi snapped.

“Don’t you lie! All perverts say the same thing to fool little girls!” The girl retorted in dismay.

Baiyi, however, did not reply. He just scanned her with his pyschic energy. Since the Lesser Grail resting within her own body had not been used to collect the souls of departed Servants, the dark-skinned loli’s body was in a good state. To ensure she remained healthy, Baiyi made some adjustments to her body using mana.

“Now, listen, there’s no need to go back to the castle, okay? None of the people there actually see you as a human being. You’ll live a better life with your adopted Daddy and Mommy,” Baiyi advised before pushing open the bedroom door, knocking back the two eavesdropping lolis. With a loud crash, they both rolled all the way to the end of the room.

“Looks like we’re done here, girls. Let’s go,” Baiyi said.

“Where to?” Santa asked.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to look at the sea?” He asked before leading the two out of the house they had called home these past few days.

The dark-skinned loli sat straight and examined her skin a little, to make sure she had not been touched. For some reason, when the Big Meanie had been examining her body, his gaze was quite intense. In that moment, she felt as though her entire body was being licked! ‘Gah! That is so disgusting! Was that feeling just a hallucination?’

Baiyi’s schedule was tight. He led the girls to the beach for a quick stroll, and then he booked a flight to London for a meeting with an elderly scholar.

Before he was due to fly, he went around the city, shopping, and in almost no time, he had filled up his storage pouch.