Why Did You Summon Me?

Summoning a Servant required a Catalyst — something that would help the summoner to summon the Heroic Spirit of their choice. The Archmage — who had long since gotten used to the mobile game version of the series — believed that one only needed enough Saint Quartz to summon any Heroic Spirit they wished for.

Baiyi, who was not in this world of his own volition, felt stressed because he did not possess a Catalyst. Unimpressed, the Archmage said, “What is so hard about getting a Catalyst? Should it not be easy to get one? You had so many Catalysts back when you were on Earth, right?”

“Huh?” Baiyi was perplexed.

“Did you not use figurines, posters, doujins, limited edition cards, etc., as your Catalysts? If I remember correctly, you spent a month’s worth of hard-earned money to purchase these Catalysts, yet you failed to summon the Heroic Spirit of your choice…” The Archmage said, and with a gloomy tone of voice, the First Walker continued, “Oh, my poor Child! Of all the things you inherited from me, my indomitable luck is not one of them!”

Baiyi was speechless.  ‘Just what makes you think your luck at summoning is worth gloating about?!’ 

“You know what, I’ll just let this slide. Looking for a Catalyst is a lot more important than taking this bait,” Baiyi said and leaped off the bridge was on.

In another location, the prestigious family, who had taken great pains to observe those who would participate in the upcoming war, were worried about Baiyi, who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

They had tried almost everything to track this mysterious outsider down, but they had failed. This new magus seemed to possess the ability to vanish whenever he wanted to; attempts to track him was akin to trying to track air. Although several masters were looking for the outsider, he had yet to be found. This made the man in the red tuxedo more stressed.

“Who is this punk?! Why is he here? What does he want? He can’t be some sort of Servant, can he? A Servants of the Assassin Class are good at throwing off their pursuers, and we have already summoned one for this war!”

“What matters most is his objective. What does he want ? Is he an observer sent from Clock Tower? Or, is he one the selected Masters and just happened to be late to our party?” The priest, who was beside the man in the red tuxedo, murmured to himself.

“We already know who the seven Masters are! Wait… could he be seeking to replace one of us? Replace, you know, him ?” The man in red tuxedo exclaimed as he smashed a stack of papers containing information of all seven masters onto the table. Information regarding the serial killer, whose head Baiyi squished to bits, was not included in any of the papers.

Afterward, the gazes of the priest and the man in the red tuxedo shifted to the workaholic, whose expression made him seem as though he was screaming, “Why can’t I ever pay off my debt?!”

“If this mysterious outsider seeks to replace one of us, his target would probably be this man. A lowly lecturer from Clock Tower who joined the war without notifying his superior… This sod’s magical potential is laughable, yet he had not bothered to make preparations for the war. In fact, since he arrived, he had been sleeping in his house; waking up seems like a drag for him! Oh, yea, if I were the outsider, I also would seek to remove someone who, most of the time, is half-dead,” murmured the man in the red tuxedo. He turned to the priest and said, “Have the assassin wait for the outsider around that area. I bet our uninvited friend will be there shortly!”

The man in the red tuxedo’s assertion was not wrong; Baiyi did plan to steal a holy artifact from one of the Masters. The Fifth Walker also believed that the workaholic with the funny expression would be the easiest to target. This belief was something Baiyi, the priest, and the man in the red tuxedo all agreed on.

On his way to the Workhalic’s house, Baiyi encountered a thick fog that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. As soon as the fog covered Baiyi, he could no longer see any pedestrians or cars. They had all vanished, leaving behind an area that was no different from a ghost town.

“Jeez, what’s this?” Baiyi wondered as he casually walked forward. Suddenly, he stopped and reached out to grab something unknown.

A moment later, the fog around his hand dispersed, revealing a petite little girl with a scar on her face. Her clothes seemed way too little.

“Grr! Put me down! Put me down so that I can disembowel you!” The little girl screamed as maliciously as she could.

However, Baiyi, who had his hands around the little girl’s neck, lifted even higher. This caused the girl to struggle even harder and scream louder. Suddenly, two small daggers appeared in her hands, and she swung them hard at Baiyi; however, because her arms were short, the daggers did not reach Baiyi.

“Why is this thing here?!” Baiyi exclaimed helplessly. He began to swing his arm from side to side, causing the little girl to shriek in fear. Baiyi, however, ignored her cries and kept swinging his arm, and after a few seconds, the girl’s eyes rolled to the back of her head; she had fainted.

It was only then that Baiyi stopped. He cast a Binding spell on her, and continued on his journey, with the little girl swung over his shoulder.

Back in the mansion, the priest’s expression turned into one of shock, and he screamed, “My Assassin! She’s… She’s—”

“She was  killed ?! But didn’t we explicitly  tell her to do nothing more than watch him from afar?” The man in the red tuxedo exclaimed frantically.

With a sideways shake of his head, the priest replied, “No. Not dead. She has been captured…”

Both men wore gloomy expressions, making them seem as though they had just seen a ghost in a mirror. Although assassins possess weak physical attributes, especially the Servant who they had sent out, their assassin was still a Servant! It should not have been possible for a human to defeat her single-handedly!

In this case, however, things were even more ridiculous than a human killing a Servant by themselves; a human had actually captured a Servant, and Servants were spirits! Servants were intangible beings, possessing no flesh and blood, so, by logic, it should be impossible for one to capture them. However, if there was anything even more ridiculous than a human defeating a Servant by themselves, that would be a human capturing a Servant—because all Servants were spirits ! However, the mysterious outsider managed to do this by utilizing a strange spell, which forcefully bound the Servant. Right before the little assassin was captured, she had informed her master, the Priest, of what had happened; after that, the energy connection he had with the assassin was abruptly cut off.

The priest’s Command Spells remained intact, though, which meant that the assassin was not yet dead. Even though he wasted two of his three Command Spells to try summoning her back to his side, it would not work. In the end, he had been forced to conclude that she had been captured violently somehow.

The discovery had sent chills down the spines of the two men. Who could this mysterious outsider be? Forget that; what is this person? How is he able to use techniques that are completely unheard of?! Now that his assassin had been captured by the mysterious outsider, the overall state of the war had changed drastically before it had even begun. 

“No! I must summon my Servant right now! I can’t wait for ‘a better time’; our standing in this war gets shakier the longer we wait!” The man in the red tuxedo exclaimed with determination. He hurried towards a summoning circle that had been prepared earlier, with an ancient Holy Relic to be used as a Catalyst in his hands. He wasted no time and began to chant.

When he finished his incantation, blinding white rays of light burst out of the summoning circle. The rays of light soon dispersed, leaving a figure exuding an air of ancient importance behind.

“This is it, Kirei. Do you see? We will certainly win this war! Successfully summoning this Heroic Spirit is proof that, without a doubt, it is us who will prevail!” The man in the red tuxedo, whose eyes were fixed on the figure standing in the middle of the summoning circle, exclaimed joyfully.

At the far end of the city, Baiyi could feel the sudden emanation of magical pulses. He looked in the direction he had sensed them and muttered, “Okay, what’s up with this? Is someone honing their Magecraft at this hour? Man, gotta respect the mages of this world for their dedication!”

That was all he had to say about the summoning of a Legendary Heroic Spirit. After making his remark, Baiyi went about his business, with the abducted assassin still in tow.

Soon, walking down an empty street at night by himself began to bore Baiyi, so he pulled the girl from his shoulders and raised her to his eye level, after which he began to look at her more carefully.

It was quite unexpected that the person who wished to disembowel him was only a cute loli. The longer he looked at her, the more he wanted to play with her. He soon raised a finger and began to poke her soft, puffed-up cheeks.

The loli woke up almost instantly and bit down hard on the finger. A sound, “Ke-rack!”, rang out, and the loli hurriedly released her aching teeth. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she looked close to bursting into tears.

Baiyi began to swing the girl from side to side once more, as though he were a cowboy, and when he finally placed her down, she had fainted once again.

“Yo, now this is what I called ‘target tranquilized’!” Baiyi said as he continued poking the little assassin puffed-up cheeks whilst walking towards his destination.

When Baiyi reached the workaholic’s house, he pushed open the front door as though he owned the place. He walked directly to the room where the workaholic was sleeping. Baiyi found the person sleeping so soundly that anyone might mistake him for a corpse.

Emboldened by how deeply the workaholic was sleeping, Baiyi rummaged through his suitcases without a modicum of discretion. Suddenly, Baiyi found himself unable to move; he had been bound by a barrier spell. The workaholic had awoken and was now glaring at Baiyi, “Who are you and why are you here? Also, put down the little girl!”

Baiyi said nothing. Instead, he vanished from where he stood, and before the workaholic could react to this unsettling development, Baiyi had reappeared behind him like a ghost. Without hesitation, Baiyi used the side of his hand to strike the workaholic’s neck.

The workaholic toppled over, and Baiyi returned to the pile of suitcases and continued his search for the perfect Catalyst.

A bellow of anger rang out from behind him, albeit through gritted teeth. “Grrr, that really  hurt! You bastard… How are you able to get in and out of my Stone Sentinel Maze this easily?!”

‘Eh? He wasn’t knocked out?’  Baiyi instantly reappeared behind the workaholic and struck his neck once more.

“Gwaah! You piece of unforgivable s***!” The workaholic shrieked in anguish. “Don’t think you can knock me out with this crappy tactic! I say stop it! ”

‘The hell? This ain’t right,’ Baiyi thought as he stared at the workaholic, who had his arms wrapped around his neck protectively. In a bid to ascertain his suspicion, Baiyi scanned the man with his psychic energy.

“Oh, so this is why. You’re not human, are you?” Baiyi concluded. “But, why are you, a Pseudo-Servant, already here, in a war that happened way before you made your debut? Oh… I get it. You are from the future and traveled back in time to stop this war, aren’t you? So, what should I call you? Master Kongming?”

Expressions of shock and horror appeared on the workaholic’s face. With a single glance, the intruder had actually managed to discern his real identity, objectives, the identity of the Heroic Spirit possessing him, and the timeline he had come from. Just who could this person be? He had the face of an average joe, yet it had only taken him seconds to do something seemingly impossible!

A sense of defeat overwhelmed the workaholic; he no longer possessed any desire to go against the mysterious intruder. Not only was he unable to defend himself against the intruder’s hand-chop attacks, but his prized technique — Unreturning Army: Stone Sentinel Maze — too, was completely useless against the intruder. The power disparity between himself and this average joe was too terrifying.

Could this man be that scum whose aim was to destroy all of humanity?!

The workaholic did not think that his objective, to correct history, would have any connections to that scum’s objective. Hence, his confusion grew, and he could not help but murmur, “Who are you? How do you know me?”

“Bruh, do you know how much money I spent trying to summon you?” Baiyi, who had just pulled out something wrapped with a piece of rag, replied. He was unsure of what this object was, but from the way it had been wrapped, he guessed it would be some sort of Holy Relic. It was possible that this Pseudo Servant wished to summon a helper Heroic Spirit? After all, without a certain Chaotic Evil’s help, this workaholic, by himself, could not possibly fight so many Servants at once. Thus, he might have stolen a Catalyst from the Clock Tower to get aid in his mission.

Whatever the reason was, the item would surely help Baiyi now!

Having encountered the character that he had used the most in his game, Baiyi decided to humor the workaholic and said, “Heaven has its mutations, and change its instruments from time to time. The supreme dignity comes, at last, to the person of virtue. It is the inevitable and immutable law. Can a glowworm in the parched stubble rival the glorious moon in the sky? If you will turn down your weapons and throw aside your armors and dutifully yield, you shall not lose your rank. The state will have tranquility and the people rejoice. Is that not a desirable consummation?”

After that, Baiyi spread his arms wide in a gesture that suggested that the workaholic give up now.

The workaholic only stared at him, nonplussed. As he knew Chinese, he understood the words that had been said to him; however, he had no idea why the weirdo in front of him had suddenly told him all this!

“Fine, fine. What I’m trying to say is, you do you, okay? Return to your job as a teacher and work overtime; continue acting like a noob’s clutch and reinforcement in the mobile game. You know, do you best to help other Heroic Spirits so that they can finally deal some real damage,” Baiyi said, this time without mincing words.

The workaholic was speechless. He certainly did not want to give up, but he could not fight this intruder.

“Look, don’t you worry about your mission, as this war will have a happy ending. Even your useless superior is not gonna die in this war, neither has his girl fled with his Servant, so there is nothing for you to worry about, is there?” Baiyi waved his hands impatiently, dismissing the workaholic the same way one would dismiss a kid. “Go on, go! You’re about to become useless in the game, you know that? Methinks you had better take these last few opportunities to show off the best abilities and skills in your arsenal before a certain flower spirit joins the game’s character roster! I even think she’s coming soon…

“Here’s a final bit of advice: please, train harder when you return home. Do you know how awesome and brilliant the historical Kong Ming was? You’re not even worth one-tenth of him, which is why you will lose to that flower spirit. Alright, shoo. Remember what I have said.”

The workaholic’s body began to shimmer as it disintegrated into motes of light. Wearing a look of reluctance, the workaholic, who was moments away from dissipating completely, cried out, “Please, at least let me know your name!”

“I am… middle-aged couple* through Hypnosis (while also helped in fixing their broken relationship), Baiyi compelled them to take a honeymoon out of the city while leaving the house for Baiyi to stay. For good measure, Baiyi compelled them to leave a large stack of money, as well as a few credit cards, too.

Baiyi tossed the loli assassin aside and hurriedly dove into a room filled with video games — he had not played video games for thousands of years. After a few minutes of looking around, however, Baiyi smashed all the consoles in a fit of rage and cursed out loud, “Goddamned Nintendolts.”

Now that Baiyi had no video games to play, only the loli assassin could entertain him. He went out of the room and returned moments later with the assassin, after which he released the Binding spell he had placed on her.

The moment the assassin woke up, she began to bawl, understanding that there was an unbridgeable gap in power between her and Baiyi. She looked really unwilling, but she knew better than to act unruly.

“I’ll get us some oranges. You stay here and don’t move while I’m gone,” Baiyi said and left the house, which was a bungalow. He had gone off to buy himself new gaming consoles.

The little loli assassin obediently remained where Baiyi had left her, without moving a muscle, which was not due to a lack of trying. When she had tried to move earlier, she realized that the house had been fortified with a ton of unbreachable barriers.