Why Did You Summon Me?

“So, as I was saying, those accompanying us are the Scholar Walker, the Lich Walker, the Blacksmith Walker, and,” Baiyi turned to face Lady Assassin Walker, who was grinning from ear to ear, ” Her, I guess. Any questions?”

“You sure are taking a lot of people with you. Are you sure you are not out to start a war?” The Paladin Walker asked.

“How many times do I have to tell you? We’re conducting an investigation! An investigation! ” Baiyi exclaimed, pounding his fists on the table for emphasis.

“Are you sure that you don’t wanna bring my revolutionary, second-generation, all-climate-suitable ‘prototype ‘ machine? You’ll find it incredibly useful on your venture!” The Engineer Walker chimed in.

‘Why would I bring a kaiju-sized magical marionette with me?! That is such a drag! Maintaining it during the trip will also be a drag! That’s not even my biggest gripe with you; my biggest gripe is why you bothered to stress the word “prototype” like that. You actually think that word is a backhanded way of saying “it will totally work”, don’t you?

“Well, if Sir Engineer wants to do it that way, then allow me! Introducing my all-new, revolutionary bomb! Earth-shatteringly powerful — guaranteed! It’s a clear and transparent liquid that resembles water. It comes with an alluring fragrance! Would you like some today?” The Alchemist Walker asked.

‘What has your faculty even been up to?! How did you people even end up doing research on explosives? Why is it suddenly in liquid form? That’s not even my biggest gripe with you ; my biggest gripe with you is why you made a bomb that comes with an alluring fragrance. When it is not being used to blow stuff up, is it supposed to be used as cologne? Did you invent this because it would  be a blast among the ladies?!’

As it turned out, most of the Voidwalkers were not the slightest bit concerned about Baiyi’s safety at all. In fact, they would agree that his enemies’ safety would be more of a concern. In addition to that, perhaps owing to themselves being the greatest pioneers of their respective trades, these Walkers instinctively sniffed out the possibilities of using an endless sea of expendable undead as their test subjects for their passion projects, and so now Baiyi was flooded with all sorts of suggestions, turning what was supposed to be seen as a thrilling adventure into a trip for outdoor experiments.

The Blacksmith was one of the very few ones who were sensible, however. Upon hearing himself mentioned in the roster, he instantly returned to his residence without wasting his time. Not only that, the Hitman left as hurriedly as well, citing that he was not a man of words, but a man of actions .

Against the flood of suggestions and what-ifs, Baiyi found himself appreciating these two’s direct approaches more and more.

A few moments later, the Blacksmith reappeared—with a weapon uncannily resembling a heavy machine gun propped on his one shoulder, a flamethrower-looking weapon slung on his back, two antique-looking muskets strapped to his two thighs, a Wild Wild West-inspired pistol on his left hip, and finally, a suspiciously normal-looking guitar case in his hands.

“Are. You. Serious?!” Baiyi cried in exasperation. “How did you even make all of these s*** with the available technology from here?!”

He extended his psychic energy into these weapons and realized that they were really just cobbled from all sorts of materials as well as a convincing coat of paint. Stuffed inside these objects were the formations of all kinds to simulate their Earth counterparts; In other words, the Blacksmith was really just bringing in a bunch of props with him…

“And tell me why is none of this a fricking drag yet?” Baiyi said weakly. In a world where simple staves, swords, scrolls, and other sorts of medieval weaponry would be more than sufficed, some wacko over here decided to remake everything as a gun. And that was still not Baiyi’s biggest gripe with him… No, Baiyi’s biggest gripe with him was that this gun nut refused to store any of them into a storage pouch, and instead insisted in being a human rack to proudly display all sorts of firearms in public!

“Bruh, you reedy bookworms would never understand us. What you’re looking at are not guns slinging around me—they are hot babes , the loveliest and most elegant types that only true men will appreciate, not like that chick over there who still hasn’t stop grinning like an idiot,” The Blacksmith protested, dragging poor Assassin (still grinning) into his rebuttal.

“Okay, but that guitar case can no longer be ignored,” Baiyi said, snatching up the guitar case from the Blacksmith’s hands and opened it.

Lo and behold, it was jampacked with firearms one could only get from Earth; Worst of all, they were all as weird and insane as the ones the Blacksmith was wearing around himself.

The Blacksmith only had this to say: “Oh, I f**king love that  movie. ¹ ”

Maybe I should have gone with the Engineer Walker in the first place. His mega size“prototypes” are just as moronic as they sound, but even they sound comparatively reasonable than some guy who kept stealing ideas from Earth!

Baiyi had not even taken a breather from the Blacksmith’s ridiculousness when the Hitman Walker had finally returned to him as well. Like a professional assassin, this man at least did  not wear his weapons like fashion accessories. Instead, he had a few storage pouches to show Baiyi, with a nonchalant explanation that went, “I’m your tank, right? So this should be no problem.”

Baiyi inspected his pouches and found himself staring at a moving arsenal of dual-wielding axes, dual-headed meteor shower chain hammers, dual-wielding battle flails and other sorts of dual-wielding weapons in addition to heavy defenses like fortified pavises and heavy targes [1]. Squeezing in the farthest corner of one of these pouches was a lonesome night-colored suit for actual assassin purposes like sneaking and snooping. Gosh, the suit looked so lonely and out of place…

You see that? That’s professionalism to you, plebs!

Thankfully, the Scholar and the Assassin did not need any of these elaborative preparations, so there were not much to say about them. The only thing left for him to do was to bring the Lich out of the Void… for the first time in soul armature form.

Baiyi had prepared the Lich’s body before the meeting. It was a skeletal-like armor which almost looked like a metallic skeleton knight; To avoid scaring the kids away, Baiyi had specially prepared a long robe and a complimentary hood, so that the Lich looked less like a terrifying moving skeleton and more like a terrifying black robe  man. [2]

“I’m willing to bet that I am the only one who feels most at home with the body we are forced to inhabit,” the Lich remarked with his trademark hoarse croak. He looked down, eyeing his skeletal hands, and added, “This body… Is familiar and comfortable.”

The Lich’s old form was a skeleton, after all, so changing into another skeletal body—albeit made out of metal—would, of course, feel comfortable and welcoming.

“I don’t have any special weapon for you, but you could probably make do with this,” Baiyi said, handing the Lich his Saint Quartz Staff. “Remember, you’re borrowing this. No scratches and other damages please; This was Vidomina’s first gift for me.”

“Hee hee, ‘gift’ is a stretch to describe something you’d obtained through trickery,” the Lich replied as he scanned the staff in his hand intently. He added, “No additional magical augmentations? The Alchemist’s pathetic experimental gems as aids to the Saint Quartz? This stick is just heavy, sturdy garbage, too ill-fitting to your status and power. But I guess it’s alright—you don’t even need a weapon anyway.”

“Permission to add some extra touches?” The Lich asked.

“Suit yourself. Just don’t damage it, alright?” Baiyi replied. “You can borrow the Magus Lab for your work, but be quick. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“That’s more than enough time,” the Lich said. He pulled his hood up as to cover his face and started towards the direction of the magus lab with the staff lightly knocking on the earth as he walked.

The path to the lab from the meeting room where Baiyi passed through the students’ classrooms, so it did not take too long for the students to start noticing a strange, black hooded Soul Armature with a suspicious air about it. However, for some reasons, there was a malefic aura radiating from it enough to make even the boldest students hesitate, so in the end, they went to summon Da Xue’s security unit instead,

The Jawflower dashed towards the suspect with its bulldog-like growls and made a sharp U-turn right before it even gotten near the Lich. Unsettlingly, this enchanted plant’s propensity for danger and renowned dauntlessness had evaporated immediately upon seeing this mysterious stranger…

The students, even more alarmed, went to their favorite, most amicable and most powerful and reliable sensei, Professor Majesty for help. The Archmage was a lot more reluctant to answer their call, however, since he was still grieving for his lost love(s). When he finally went to see who that mysterious stranger in the end and found it to be the Lich, he waved his hands in dismissal. “Nah, it’s just one of your Principal’s friends.”

“A-are you sure, Professor Majesty? The Principal actually has such terrifying friends with him?” A girl pipped. “I can feel my hair standing on end just by staring at this… person.”

“Puh-lease. Your Grand Principal had all kinds of friends; And yes, dear, this one is one of the worst and most dangerous. I know better than to worry about it, though, because the  worst, the most dangerous, the absolute-worse person in this whole wide world that you should most definitely worry about is your Grand Principal himself! Oh, did I mention he’s the  worst scum ever?! I certainly think that warrants an emphasis and a repeat,” The Archmage started to nag.

The students stared at him, nonplussed. Professor Majesty always had nothing but heaps of compliments for the Principal—until today. This was just out of his character… Did something happen between them?

Fortunately, the students knew between than to pry on the conflicts between their teachers, so they never asked. Meanwhile, the Lich was being quite a good boy too, sneaking into Baiyi’s lab and closing himself in there to work on the Saint Quartz Staff. On the very next morning, he brought his newly-enhanced staff to his coworkers. Thanks to his handiwork, the staff had turned from its previous technicolor dazzling look into a luminescent green.

Baiyi had to force the sharp pang of regret back down into his chest by telling himself it was for the mission; He  will definitely find a way to reverse the Lich’s “customization” after all of this.

He fished out the War God’s Sword—rented from the original owner—from his pocket and activated it, brandishing a tricolored blade. “Lucky for us, the War God had decided to give us some help,” he announced to his teammates.

With that, he struck the ground hard with the tip of the blade. They felt their visions blurred as they were shuffling through the realms, until they finally found themselves deposited on a new place completely constructed from ashen grey materials.

It seemed that the team had instantly arrived at their destination through the War God’s special ability.

“Is this the target of our investigation?” The Scholar raised her head and looked at the grey sky, not a single ray of sunlight in sight. Her tone was uncharacteristically filled with displeasure. “I observe no sunlight and no signs of life. This entire realm itself is dead; No living organism could possibly thrive in such an unsupportive environment.”

Lady Assasin, who was the only one with a human appearance owing to the special suit she was wearing, took the chance to lean close to Baiyi upon hearing the Scholar. “Hey, Doofus?” She muttered coquettishly. “I don’t feel so good in my stomach…”

Don’t! Flirt! At! This! Time! And I’m not so much of a “doofus” as to forget that a Soul Armature doesn’t even have a stomach to feel “not so good” about! I know it’s the moe factor you’re going for, but girl, you’re not actually a meek, hapless damsel in distress at all!

“Bloody hell. I keep getting that disgusting stench in my nose no matter where I stand! This place is bloody nauseating,” the Blacksmith lambasted before turning his head to sneak a glance at the Lich standing beside him.

Indeed, the Lich was very possibly the only one who was beaming with pleasure and earnest happiness. It was raising its hands to the sky as if giving nature a hug, while breathing in the air and the atmosphere of the realm like its hunger was finally satisfied. When it finally spoke, its voice was actually trembling a little, “This… This is the most  beautiful place I’d ever had the fortune to visit! It’s perfect for me! Perfect, just… perfect. If I may, I would like to conquer this realm someday, so that I can live here forever!” [3]

“We’ll see about that. first, you need to be able to leave the Void after all,” Baiyi replied.

Admittedly, Baiyi had yet found anywhere to place his more Chaotic Evil members such as the Lich and the Devil after they were freed from the Void; But now, one of them actively requested to stay here, so maybe he should just grant its wish. After all, if the Lich’s retirement plan was to conquer this realm and stay here forever, it’s good news to the whole of humanity, too.

“I’ll scout ahead,” The Hitman said without commenting on his new environment.

“Alright, return to us as soon as possible. Do not engage with our enemies, okay? They hold some sort of power over the Laws of Space, so we should be even more vigilant,” Baiyi reminded.

“Relax. I know my priorities,” the Hitman answered confidently before turning away and left.