Ultimate Scheming System

Puff!

All of a sudden, someone spit the tea out of his mouth all over the table.

The rest of the people were totally dumbfounded.

What the hell is this introduction?

It is OK that your name is Wang Dachui, but why did you add so many descriptions to it?

And you said you are good at physiognomy and can tell one’s fortune by touching the bosom, right?

Could you behave yourself in such an elegant place?

“Heh!” Lu Zhouhe shook his head, together with several other people, disdainfully. One moment ago, they were still unconvinced. But now their were assured. Because they firmly believed that Miss Dong would never choose such a shameless person.

Behind the gauze curtain, Miss Dong was also shocked by Xu Que’s words. She didn’t expect such a graceful and elegant gentleman could say those tactless words, which were so unexpected for her.

“But…physiognomy….” Miss Dong’s eyes lit up with a faint smile as if she was quite interested in the physiognomy mentioned by Xu Que just now.

She said gently, “Lord Wang….”

“Don’t call me Lord Wang!” Xu Que interrupted her, waving his hand and saying gently, “Please call me Brother Dachui!”

Holy crap!

People’s mouths twitched in embarrassment.

Brother…Dachui?

Nonsense! Isn’t it disgusting?

Even Miss Dong, who was still behind the gauze curtain, was also stunned a bit. Then her face turned red. She knew in her heart that this guy was shameless!

“Brother Dachui is awesome!” A shout came from the rear part of the crowd at this time.

Holy crap! How could someone support him?

People turned around immediately. However, what they saw was just a dog walking out of the gate furtively. That dog was always ignored by people subconsciously. They started to search for the idiot who called Xu Que “Brother Dachui”.

“Lord Dachui!” At this time, Miss Dong’s voice could be heard from behind the gauze curtain again. She would never call a stranger “Brother Dachui” in front of so many people. This was much too intimate for a reserved girl like her. “I’ve read about physiognomy in some ancient books. It is said that it can be used to tell one’s fate accurately. Are you really good at it?” She asked curiously.

“Of course!” Xu Que replied proudly. “If Miss Dong is interested in it, I can perform physiognomy for you to tell your fate. But….”

“But what?”

“I need….”

“What do you need?”

“I need to touch your….”

Before Xu Que could finish his words, all the people who were present changed their expressions.

You need to touch….

Damn! What will you touch?

“Mind your words!” Lu Zhouhe shouted angrily.

“What a shameless guy!”

“What are you going to do, pervert?”

“You can’t do whatever you want here! Just behave yourself!”

“Miss Dong, don’t be fooled by this shameless guy!”

The rest of the people also scolded Xu Que loudly. Someone even stepped out and said, “If you want to touch a bosom, touch mine! I don’t believe you can tell everything about me!”

“Get lost! Why do I have to touch you? Are you insane? You really embarrass me! What I want to say is I need to touch her hand to read her palm. What are you thinking? Is Wang Dachui a raffish person like that?” Xu Que said, widening his eyes.

The rest of the people didn’t know how to reply to him and couldn’t help but roll their eyes.

Touch her hand?

Nobody will believe you!

At this time, Lu Zhouhe stepped out and stopped in front of Xu Que. Then he said coldly, “Physiognomy is made-up science. I bet it has been lost even if it used to exist in this world. I don’t believe you are good at it. You are going to perform palm reading, right? OK, just read my palm!” Then he reached his hand out to Xu Que directly.

His action fit in exactly with Xu Que’s wishes. He glanced at Lu Zhouhe’s hand and said, shaking his head, “Lord Lu, right? I’ve read your palm! According to my fortune-telling skills, you are good at music and you’ve just made a new composition recently!”

“Heh! Could you tell us something we don’t know?” Lu Zhouhe said disdainfully with a cold smile.

Everyone was also embarrassed for everyone knew what Xu Que said just now!

“Tell you something you don’t know? I can certainly do that!” Xu Que said with a smile, “Lord Lu, you are still single, right? Let me tell you the truth, you will also be single in the future and you will die alone!”

“You….” Lu Zhouhe’s face got dark from anger immediately. Apparently, Xu Que was implying that he would never be with Miss Dong.

However, Miss Dong’s voice came from behind the gauze curtain again, “Lord Dachui, could you please tell me how you figured it out?”

“Heh, heh, the mysteries of heaven must not be revealed!” Xu Que said with an unfathomable smile. Then he continued to say, looking at the gauze curtain, “Since Miss Dong is interested, I can tell you the reason!”

“Thank you, Lord Dachui!” Miss Dong said. Apparently, she was quite interested in physiognomy.

“Actually, it is quite easy. I’ve read Lord Lu’s palm and found his palm is quite old!” Xu Que replied.

People were surprised by his words.

His palm is quite old!

Is that the reason you said Lord Lu will die alone?

Miss Dong was also surprised. So she asked, “Why?”

“Because….” Xu Que paused a bit. Then he picked up his guitar and started to sing, “The older you grow, the lonelier you will be! The older you grow, the more anxious you will be! You have to see your wings of dreams are broken….”

He stopped singing abruptly. Then, he said, looking at people in a wicked way, “So! Now you know the reason, right? Lord Lu’s hands are so old. If he doesn’t die lonely, I will eat excrement in a webcast!”

Puff!

Someone spit out their tea again.

The rest of the people rolled their eyes and almost fainted.

Lu Zhouhe was so annoyed that he felt a tightness in his chest and almost spat blood.

The older you grow, the lonelier you will be?

Why didn’t you go to the heavens?

It has nothing to do with the physiognomy!

The atmosphere was freezing cold and everyone was embarrassed. For what Xu Que did was not funny at all. If he called it a joke, it would be the lamest one ever!

Behind the gauze curtain were also speechless. After several breaths, Miss Dong said with a polite but embarrassed smile, “Eh, I didn’t expect Lord Dachui could be so humorous!”

“I’m flattered, Miss Dong!” Xu Que said with a faint smile. “Actually, I can’t reveal the secrets of physiognomy. Otherwise, my hidden virtues and moral quality could be impaired. So my explanation just now was just a joke and I don’t care whether you believe it or not! Moreover, I am not going to show off my skills and prove something today. Actually, I hope Miss Dong could help me in something!”

“Oh?” Miss Dong was shocked a bit. Then she said, nodding her head, “How may I help you, Lord Dachui?”

“Alas, it is a long story!” Xu Que sighed heavily and said with sadness. “Buttface is my good friend. He is innocent, kind, honest, and down to earth. However, he is suffering from an incurable disease. He wants to taste the Ten-Millennium-Flower-Dew before his death! I hope Miss Dong could give me some Ten-Millennium-Flower-Dew as a gift. I don’t need a lot. About ten or 20 buckets are OK for me!”

“What?” Miss Dong was surprised.

The rest of the people in this area were also shocked.

Ten-Millennium-Flower-Dew?

So, it turns out his target is Ten-Millennium-Flower-Dew today!

How could he ask for so much Ten-Millennium-Flower-Dew from Miss Dong?

Damn! Does he think Ten-Millennium-Flower-Dew can be collected like rainwater? He is so greedy!

“Lord Dachui, I’m afraid….” Miss Dong replied in a perplexed way.

Xu Que said seriously, “Miss Dong, don’t worry, I am not an ungrateful person! If you can help me, I will devote my body to you…. Hey! Hey! Don’t look at me like that! I am quite expensive—800 yuan for one time and 2,000 yuan for a night! I am honest with all my customers!”

…..