The Silly Alchemist

“You’ll be like a normal person, like a mentioned before, you’ll be able to do normal things!” said Ye Lang again.

“I’ll kill you if you keep spouting bullshit…”

“That’s enough! This is true. The military doctor told me you few are practically useless to me now. After we’re done for today, you’ll all be transferred to logistics. If you’re not happy with that, you can go home and plant vegetables,” said the leader coldly with not much emotion.

“Boss…” the soldiers were stunned. They did not expect this at all, for they had high hopes for a speedy recovery. Then they could enjoy their lives terrorizing civilians once again.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get them to pay for what they did.”

“Boss…”

“I said, I will make sure you will be compensated! What are you still muttering about?!” the leader said impatiently.

“Boss…”

“Shut your mouth!”

“No boss, we have to tell you, the assholes are already about to leave on their lion!”

“?!” The leader just realised Ye Lang had already summoned his lion and climbed on it with Li Yue. They were just about to leave.

W-were they not taking him seriously at all?!

Yep, they did not even see him as a threat. Ye Lang had been ignoring these people since the beginning so he did not want to listen.

“Stand right there!” The leader waved and a group of soldiers surrounded the both of them. Ye Lang had no choice but to give them a bit of his attention.

“Apologies, you’re in my way. Please move,” said Ye Lang politely.

“…” Li Yue was silent.

“I KNOW I’m in your way! We are not done talking, and you want to leave already?”

“What’s the matter?” Ye Lang did not understand.

“…”

We’ve been talking for such a long time and this bastard doesn’t know what we’re talking abuot?

“The woman next to you cut my men this afternoon. What are your opinions on the matter?” the leader looked at Ye Lang, putting on a patronising expression. He seemed like an evil, cunning man.”

“Opinions?” he thought for a moment. “I think they deserved it!”

“…” Everyone was silent, no one had expected such an answer. This was the equivalent of having a death wish.

“Other than that?” the leader’s face turned cold. He was about the explode.

“Other than that… Let me think… Right! You are all not good people!” Ye Lang then said something that supported the civilians but offended the soldiers.

“…”

In one moment, the world seemed to become very, very quiet…

“Boss!”

“Major!”

“This little bastard is playing us, don’t waste your time on him! We shall cut off his hands and feet!”

There were rounds and rounds of shouts and yells from the crowd of soldiers, angry ones!

“Silence! We are the Tanlang Military Group, an official branch of the empire’s military. We will never stoop to commit such crimes against the law…” The leader, who was also a Major, had a very heroic opening to his monologue.

As he spoke, the civilians who were listening all secretly cursed him. If they didn’t, the world would be at peace!

Then someone expressed their thoughts aloud.

“I’ve seen you break the law since the beginning, no? Tell me, do you know what legal means?” said Ye Lang.

“…” The major was speechless.

Good one! Good one! The crowd cheered for him in their hearts.

“You son of a bitch, you are a smart one,” said the major suddenly.

“I’m so-so, just a regular kidnapper,” Ye Lang said casually. “I’m not that stupid. You’re tricking me, I would never tell you how smart I actually am!”

“…”

Li Yue wanted to tell him the second part of that was unnecessary.

However, Li Yue only knew he was telling the truth because they were close. Other people thought he was just pretending to be stupid to mock the major.

“You’re just a kidnapper but I’m sure you have your skills. Could I have your name, sir?” the major clenched his teeth but it was better to figure out this kid’s identity first.

“I am… Li Gui,” Ye Lang said with a grin.

Any modern person would’ve known it was a fake name but it didn’t matter in this context.

[Note: Gui is the Chinese character for ghost. No sane person would name their child ghost.]

“Li Gui? Li Yue? You’re both…”

“We’re siblings! She’s my elder sister!”

“…” Li Yue was insulted. SHE was the older sister?

Well, she was a little older than him but not much. Though this was a fact that could never change.

Li Yue had never given this any thought before.

“Didn’t you say you were the kidnapper, didn’t you kidnap her?” None of this made sense to the major.

“Yep! Who said a brother cannot kidnap his elder sister? Things like this happen when there are conflicts of interest,” said Ye Lang casually. It seemed like a common TV drama trope to him.

“…” The major had nothing to say to that either. Disagreements between siblings were not unheard of, and siblings would probably fight till the end of time.

“Let’s go, my ELDER brother, let’s not talk nonsense with these people anymore,” she said impatiently with emphasis.

“Yeah, these people are annoying! Lion, let’s go!” he patted the fire-red lion.

“Roar!” With one majestic roar, the people around it were smart enough to move aside but instead, the lion took one leap directly over the human wall then sprinted like mad.

“…”

“Get them!” yelled the major furiously. He felt like he was insulted after such disrespectful behaviour because neither of them had actually looked him in the eye during the conversation, especially Li Yue.

This time, even if he could not get back the dignity lost by his men, he had to get back his own!

But how could the people catch up to the lion? They were left behind very quickly. When they rode their horses, the horses merely grew skittish as they approached the lion. All the lion had to do was to roar once and all the horses turned around immediately.

This was an effect Ye Lang had not anticipated. In the future, he did not have to worry about people chasing after him on horses because the lion could scare them away with a roar.