The Return of the God Level Assassin [BL]

BAI ZE just stood there and stared at Shen Ji Yun.  His mouth was stuck open.  If it was possible, his jaw would have probably already fell on the floor.  He was so shocked that his mind just blanked out.  His brain couldn't even process what he heard.  That's just how shock he was.

He wanted to think that he just had an auditory hallucination.  That he was somehow expecting such answer that he just imagined what he heard.  But seeing the serious expression on Shen Ji Yun's face, he knew that the other was completely serious. 

"You- no, wait- just let me digest what you said first," he said while pinching the bridge of his nose.

His closest friend just admitted to him that he's in love with his cousin.  The cousin who was in a coma for seven years.  How should he react with that?

Should he be angry?  Should he punch him now?  Should he tell him how wrong this entire situation was?  He honestly didn't know.

But he knew there's one thing that he had to make sure.  He took a deep breath and calm his shocked mind.  So, at least his brain could start working.

"You do know about Xiao Yan's coma, right?  So, you should also be aware that he's basically a child.  And yet, right now, you're telling me that you're in love with him.  Don't you think that there's something fundamentally wrong with that?"

Shen Ji Yun suddenly turned quiet.  Not the 'speechless quiet' but the 'I'm thinking quiet' instead.

"Do you really think he's a child mentally despite spending time with him these past two months?" 

That question turned Bai Ze speechless once again.  Because it made him think that Shen Ji Yun had a point.  Since meeting Luo Yan in-game two months ago, he had never felt once that the other was a 10-year-old child inside.  There were moments when Luo Yan showed his innocence but also moments when he could be scary as hell.

The fact that he could easily play Arcadia like a fish in the sea, someone with a mentality of a 10-year-old could certainly not do that.  But everyone who was familiar with the accident and the coma he'd been in just simply ignored that.  In their mind, Luo Yan was a child and certainly not a 17-year-old.  But clearly, Luo Yan's mentality was the age it was supposed to be.  They just turned a blind eye to it.  Thinking of how much they should put him in this protective bubble.

It had been five months since his cousin woke up from the coma.  Maybe in that time, he had managed to adapt and simply grow exponentially.  But because the duration of that growth was simply too short, none of them had really paid attention to it.  He could see that with his cousins – Luo Ren and Luo Jin – as well as his uncle.  Even their Bai family was the same.

But Shen Ji Yun was apparently not included in that scope. 

Unlike them, the family, Shen Ji Yun did not see Luo Yan as a fragile child.  And that's probably one of the reasons why he ended up falling in love with him. 

Although, he understood that.  It didn't mean that he could easily accept it just like that.

"But even so.  Have you ever thought of the hardships you're going to put Xiao Yan in if you pull him in that kind of relationship?  The two of you are going to be judged everywhere!  Do you really want Xiao Yan to experience that?"

"If I would be so lucky as to have Yan Yan return my feelings, then I would do everything in my power to protect him from the judgement of people.  And if he wanted to face everything together, then I would I proudly stand side by side with him."  Shen Ji Yun stared straight at Bai Ze.  His blue eyes filled with strong determination.  "This is not just a phase for me.  What I feel for Yan Yan is something that I know I will never ever get a chance to feel again.  This is it for me, Bai Ze.  He's the one."

Aside from being shocked, again, he was more amazed.  Bai Ze couldn't believe that he was hearing these things from his emotionally stunted friend.  An evidence of how truly serious he was about his feelings.  He was simply opening his whole heart to him right now.

"Are you saying that if you don't end up with Xiao Yan, you would remain single for the rest of your life?" he asked just to clarify.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Whoa.  Isn't that a bit over the top?"

"Not for me."

"Then what would you do if Xiao Yan rejects you and choose a girl, nah, even another guy as a partner?  Would you force him to be with you?"

"I will never do that.  If he rejected me, then I will respect his decision.  And if he chose someone else, then I will give him my blessing.  What's more important to me is his happiness.  As long as he's happy, then that would be enough for me."

Shen Ji Yun said that without any hesitation.  Showing just how much he meant what he said. 

Bai Ze shook his head.  What he's seeing right now was a man hopelessly in love.  The person he least expected to be so dedicated to the person they loved was Shen Ji Yun.  Who would have thought that once in love, he would turn out to be such a big hopeless romantic?             

  He sighed.  More than anyone, he understood Shen Ji Yun's character.  Despite the eternal expressionless face and cold attitude to almost everyone, Bai Ze knew that Shen Ji Yun was a good person.  He was not some scum who would hurt Luo Yan discriminately.  And Bai Ze also believed everything that he said about his feelings for his cousin.

But even so, it's hard to just say, 'okay, I'll support you, I hope that you end up with Xiao Yan'.  If it was any other person Shen Ji Yun liked, he would happily say that.  But the one involved was his cousin.  So, of course, he couldn't just do that.

Suddenly, he didn't know what to do or say.

Shen Ji Yun probably noticed his discomfort, so he said the following;

"I'm not asking you to support me, I can even understand why you can't.  I just hope that you could also give me the same understanding.  I… I also hope that you won't hate me for this.  No matter how annoying you can be at times, you, you're my friend.  I would probably be sad if our friendship would be affected by this situation."

Bai Ze blinked.  What he just heard was probably as shocking as hearing Shen Ji Yun say that he was in love with Luo Yan.  He even felt goosebumps by the mushiness of it.  But because of that the awkwardness and indecisiveness he was feeling slowly subsided.  He walked to his friend and playfully punched the other's shoulder. 

"You know, that 'annoying' part was truly unnecessary," he said.  "We're friends.  How could I hate you for falling in love with another person?  Although right now, I couldn't confidently say that I will support you in this, I will also not hinder you in any way.  And if one day you end up with Xiao Yan, then I will definitely be both on your sides.  Just make sure you won't hurt him.  Because if that were to happen, then it's definitely friendship over between us two."

For the first time since their conversation started, the corner of Shen Ji Yun's lips arched up a little.  Showing a small smile.  He felt like a heavy weight from his shoulder had just been lifted.  This was probably the most ideal result he could get in this situation.

"Don't worry, that will never happen."

"It better be."

Bai Ze walked back near the bar counter and ate another slice of pizza just to calm all his nerves that were rattled by Shen Ji Yun's sudden confession.

"Thank you, Bai Ze."

Bai Ze glanced at Shen Ji Yun when he heard that.  "Man, you being all soft and mushy like this is really freaking weird."

Shen Ji Yun chose not to response to that.  But if one looked closely, they could see that his ears were red.  Showing that even he also felt a bit shy because of everything that had happened since the start of their conversation.

So, he just also walked to the bar counter and ate a slice of pizza.