The Great Worm Lich

As a business animal, the spirit of the LS Group’s general manager was roused immediately. Upon seeing his leap of joy, Zhang Lisheng shook his head and said, “Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, don’t get that excited! It’s just an idea for the US government to entrust Shrimp B1 Island to our management for now…”

“No, no, no, Boss! Your idea isn’t able to be realized from the very beginning. It’s impossible for the US government to entrust Shrimp B1 Island to our management.” After staying silent for a long time, Edward finally interrupted the young man’s words. “That island is standalone, and it’s in the grasp of your hands but not in the hands of the government. This differs completely from the management of the colonies by the East and West Indian companies after the British army occupied half of Asia. We should look at this question from another angle. Let’s change our angle and not view the island as India that is full of curry smell or Bangladesh that has tigers roaming around on the streets…”

“What should we view it as then?” Zhang Lisheng asked with his hands open.

“View it as the Hawaiian Islands, Boss. The Shrimp B1 Island is the Hawaii of the foreign world, a Hawaii that doesn’t need the despicable subversion from a US Christian missionary nor the congress to enact a bill to apologize to…” Edward replied.

“Oh my God, Edward, you’re a genius! Hawaii! Aha! Only lawyers and politicians like you can come up with such a brilliant idea!” Charlie, who was sitting by the side, became stunned for a while before exclaiming loudly with excitement.

Zhang Lisheng, on the other hand, asked in confusion, “Edward, Charlie, what are you talking about? Why is it a wonderful idea to treat Shrimp B1 Island as Hawaii?”

“Boss, you’re an American who hasn’t grown up in this country, so you don’t understand this metaphor,” Charlie replied excitedly. “Hawaii became the 50th state of the United States in the middle of the last century. Speaking of which, there are still many ex-people from the Hawaiian Kingdom living who are still alive and kicking right now… Oh, that ain’t important. What’s important is that other than the original thirteen states, the other 37 states of the US have various origins. Some relied on wars, some relied on trading, while some joined the country voluntarily, just like Hawaii did. Of course, we won’t go into details as to what kind of dirty means they used in the process…”

“Oh, I kinda get what you two mean now. Do you mean to make Shrimp B1 Island a state of the US like Hawaii?” Zhang Lisheng was first hit by a pang of realization before he shook his head incredulously as he said, “How is this possible? This is too crazy! Too absurd!”

“Boss, I see nothing crazy about this,” Charlie said with a shrug. “Shrimp B1 Island is also an island just like Hawaii. When it comes to geographical location, Hawaii is thousands of kilometers away from the US mainland, but Shrimp B1 Island is only less than a hundred kilometers offshore of New York. If we’re to compare it, it even beats Hawaii in this. Both places are inhabited by short brown natives and of course, we must admit that the natives living on Shrimp B1 Island are much shorter and uglier, but the time is different now! We’re living in an era of a big revolution where the world has united to become one. The humans must adapt to living equally with other wise beings from other foreign worlds. Besides, if we were to test their genes, perhaps the genes of Shrimp B1 Island’s natives are even closer to us than that of Hawaii’s natives. Who knows, right? On top of that, the Earthlings really need to take this step, this step of courageous integration that allows us to become a family with the foreign world’s people who yearn for peace as well!”

As Charlie was speaking, he rose from his seat and made a hugging gesture.

“How thought-provoking, Charlie! How inspiring! I believe that if these words appear on TV, they will surely win the praise of most pacifists,” Edward applauded.

“Thank you, my dear old friend.” Charlie hugged his old friend and sat down again before shifting his gaze towards Zhang Lisheng. “What do you think, Boss?”

“I don’t know. Standing on the perspective of the Chinese, we usually have this concept of ‘Those who are not our kin are sure to be of a different heart’, let alone becoming family with those alien-like foreign world people!” Zhang Lisheng stared with his mouth agape for a long time before finally replying. “Oh that’s right! The foreign world’s natives on Shrimp B1 Island have just attacked the human gathering place on Shrimp B1 Island recently and caused tens of thousands of deaths. Since the US government we’re dealing with is the one who isolated the black people 30 years ago but elected a black man to become the president 30 years later, it’s kinda hard to say… Perhaps things will… Ah, I can’t convince myself at all! I still find this idea to be too absurd! Anyway, since you two are ‘experts’ in this respect, we might as well try it. Then again, Edward, it’s not even possible for any random region on Earth to become a member of the United States even if they wanted to, right?”

“Of course, Boss! There are several key issues in the jurisdiction when a region voluntarily joins the United States. First of all, its sovereignty and power must be with no controversy and must be entirely in its own hands; second, the vast majority of people living there must give up their former status and become a citizen of the US; third, it must recognize the values of US democracy and voluntarily abide by the US constitution…”

“Oh Edward, I’m afraid Shrimp B1 Island’s natives will be unable to do that! Can you imagine them forming a court of their own initiative and electing official personnel? They’re still using leaves and hides to cover their nether regions, you know?” Zhang Lisheng chuckled and interjected a question.

“But, Boss, you can always order them to do so if they can’t! Aren’t you their God?” Edward asked.

“Order them?” Zhang Lisheng replied in shock, “If I’m the one who orders them to do so, what’s the meaning of having the so-called ‘democracy’ then?”

“Of course you can’t make such orders blatantly. However, the right of believing in any private faith is also the freedom of every citizen. Do you know how many incestous relationships and family-related rape cases are happening today, now, at this time, among the Mormons in the farmhouses in Texas? Do you know that the law enforcement officers in Texas are well aware of this but no judge would issue a search warrant without reason and pick up troubles with those Mormon farm owners if there are no complaints and evidence from the victims? It’s even more possible for them to prohibit their citizens from believing in Mormonism! Boss, there is no legal system in the world that is perfect and flawless. In short, you don’t have to worry about these detailed problems and just hand it over to a professional like me to handle them!” Edward replied with a smile.

The instant his words left his mouth. Charlie, who was by the side, quickly added on, “What you have to worry about is what can Shrimp B1 Island offer to the federal government. The word ‘interest’ is the most critical issue for success.”

“Ah, I have learned a new thing today. The US is really full of ‘surprises’ everywhere. Looks like it was a wise move for me to come to New York with my mom in the first place!” Slightly stunned, Zhang Lisheng looked at the LS’ general manager and the chief legal officer who was intimidated and lured in by the ‘chariot’ and became silent for a while. “We can provide endless gold to the federal government, but I think it’s better not to disclose this yet..”

“Of course!” Charlie and Edward agreed with Zhang Lisheng’s opinion in unison for the first time.

“Other than gold, Shrimp B1 Island also has rich biological resources, beautiful yet dangerous scenery, handicrafts of queer shapes and forms, and meaty worms that taste quite good.”

“Boss, to be honest, beautiful scenery and midget-baked worms will not be able to attract the interest of the politicians in the parliament,” Edward replied seriously.

“I think so too,” Zhang Lisheng pondered. “There are iron ores on the island, iron ores of high purity, but I want to use these iron ores to build steamships, so we can’t mention this as well… Oh yeah, speaking of steamships, I remember now. The roots and branches of many trees on Shrimp B1 Island are more resistant to burning than coal. Not only that, the heat generated is very large as well. Most importantly, a magical light rain will fall upon the island every three to four decades and can make all the vegetation grow as lush as forests that grew for several hundreds of years in just a short span of one night. In other words, we can carry out destructive mining out there, and it is equal to an open-air renewable coalfield with an area of 30,000 square kilometers.”

“An open-air renewable coal field with an area of 30,000 square kilometers…” Edward muttered and burst out laughing. “Deal, Boss! This alone should be enough already! In that case, since the Shrimp B1 Island Comprehensive Development Company that you’ve asked me to set up is suspended because of the bloody event that the natives on the island’s human gathering place caused, I’ll make sure it starts operating immediately and get some of the wood that you mentioned just now. What we need to do first is prove the value of the wood, and then, I’ll need you to ensure that only the Shrimp B1 Island Comprehensive Development Company can get the wood from the island ceaselessly…”

Even though the general manager of the LS Group spoke in ambiguities, Zhang Lisheng, who was the most proficient in such bloody means, easily understood his underlying meaning. Smiling coldly, he said, “Don’t worry, Charlie. When I go back to the island next time, I promise that other than the people wearing the badge from Shrimp B1 Island Comprehensive Development Company, only dead people can have access to those big trees.”

“Okay, Boss! This is what I want! However, it’s best to make the conflict small and keep the death count to less than ten.” As though not understanding the metaphor that the young man used, Charlie nodded with his regular expression.

“As I said, Edward and you are the experts, so I’ll listen to you.” Zhang Lisheng smiled and agreed readily with their good advice. After settling the business, he chatted idly with both of them for a while, and to avoid Maddie, he rode with Charlie on Charlie’s car and headed straight to New York City.