The Empress’s Gigolo

Ren Baqian looked down at everyone. Today, all of them seemed better than yesterday. They had become much more respectful toward him.

“Today, we will talk about physics,” Ren Baqian said to everyone. Logically speaking, he should teach them written language first, but he felt that it was better he if piqued their interest.

After all, this wasn’t Earth and the aboriginals did not have the habit of studying. Therefore, he had to pique their interest for studying first.

Every student was looking at him attentively right now. It seemed that the words he said yesterday were quite effective.

“First lesson, let’s talk about the motion of an object.” Ren Baqian placed a stone on the desk and continued, “Is this stone stationary or in motion?”

“Stationary,” someone immediately replied.

Ren Baqian nodded. Then, he picked up the stone and let go of it. It gave off a soft thump when it hit the ground.

“Was the stone stationary or in motion just now?”

“It fell toward the ground.”

“Stationary or in motion!” Ren Baqian emphasized.

“In motion.”

“Can a stone move?” Ren Baqian asked again.

Everyone was stunned when they heard this question. Can a stone move?”

Ren Baqian picked up the stone and moved it up and down.

“Is the stone stationary or in motion now?”

“Stationary, your hand is the one that’s moving.”

“Then…” Ren Baqian let of the stone and dropped it onto the ground. “Is it stationary or in motion?”

“Teacher, the stone is falling downward. A stone can’t move on its own, but it is in motion when it’s falling toward the ground,” Tong Lan answered.

“You’re half correct.”

“You’re sitting in a carriage or on a horse that is moving forward, but everything in your surroundings is moving backward, which one is in motion?”

“You said the mount is moving? But you’re not moving… The position of you and the mount did not change, but everything in your surroundings is moving backward…”

“What I want to tell you is that motion is relative. Now that this stone is in my hand, it is stationary relative to the movement of my hand. However, relative to this classroom or all of you, it is in motion…”

“When you drop down from the sky, you’re not moving but your surroundings are…”

“Mechanical motion is the most common type of motion in the universe. Everything in nature is in motion. You need to identify the reference object first…”

…

“Men at birth are naturally good. Their natures are much the same; their habits become widely different. If foolishly there is no teaching, their natures will deteriorate. The right way to teach is to attach the utmost importance to thoroughness. Of old, the mother of Mencius chose a neighborhood; when her child would not learn, she broke the shuttle from the loom…” Ren Baqian used the chalk to write down the Three Character Classic on the blackboard. There were a total of 60 Chinese characters. Beside every Chinese character, he wrote a corresponding character from the written language of this world.

“Write it down and memorize it. This is how you write the word ‘men.’ One left-slanting downward stroke and one right-downward concave stroke…”

“Idiot, this is not how you write it… What are you writing?”

“Who is Mencius? Let me tell you a story, it’s called Three Moves by Mencius’ Mother…”

“This is the homework for today. Write these 30 characters 10 times each and hand it in to me tomorrow. Use your own paper and pencil. If you really don’t have any, you can come look for me…”

…

“Answer this question again, what does 6 plus 3 equal? If you dare to tell me it’s 11, I will shoot you…” Ren Baqian growled with an ominous glint in his eyes. His hand was already touching the Type 81 assault rifle.

A tall and burly young man looked around with a blank look on his face. Following which, his eyes lit up.

“6 plus 3 equals 8!”

“Bang!”

…

“You must remember how each number is written, from the number 1 to 10. Today’s homework is, what is 2 plus 7? What is 4 plus 9…”

…

While Ren Baqian was still studying in university, he had thought about bring education to undeveloped areas after he graduated. He wanted to have a memorable experience for himself in this lifetime. However, he became addicted to Bilibili and gave up this idea in the end.

(Bilibili is a video sharing website themed around animation, comics, and games {ACG} based in China, where users can submit, view, and add commentary subtitles to videos.)

He had not expected himself to become a volunteer teacher for these youngsters and fulfill his long-forgotten dream.

As Ren Baqian watched the students leave the academy, he grasped his chest, feeling as though he was soon going to suffer a heart attack from being too angry.

He remembered he once saw a news story about a mother getting a heart attack and hemorrhaging while accompanying her child to do homework.

You’re nothing! I have to teach 49 idiots on my own!

“Sigh… be patient…” Ren Baqian sighed. After getting the imperial guards to tidy up the classroom, he closed the main gate of the academy and returned to the palace.

“How was it?” the empress asked Ren Baqian with a smile on her face. She could hear Ren Baqian roaring from the academy in the morning.

“Even though they are stupid, they still can be saved,” Ren Baqian replied after thinking about it. Even though those idiots had angered him terribly, he knew that one couldn’t turn smart in a couple of days.

The scene of his elderly teacher calling him “good-for-nothing” and “stupid” was still vivid in his mind. He did not want to judge the future of these students too soon.

The responsibility of a gardener was to water the flowers so that they could grow and blossom.

The empress nodded. It was good that Ren Baqian understood this.

After having lunch, Ren Baqian met two people at Pingle Park. They were the managers of the two imperial trade caravans.

“I have looked through what you have done over the past few years. The results aren’t really good. Look at this list, how can this spoiled wine cost 10 taels of silver? How can a bolt cost 30 taels of silver? Also, the prices of the things you sold are always lower than the market prices. If it weren’t for your well-known and honest character, I would have thought you were helping the outsiders make profits,” Ren Baqian slapped the paper on the table and said.”Sir Ren, it’s not like we wanted this to happen either. Actually, they bought our goods at depressed prices. We couldn’t sell anything if we did not lower the prices. We also know the prices at which we bought the goods were too high, but there was nothing we could do about it.”

Hearing Ren Baqian’s words, the two managers’ faces turned ugly, appearing as though they were accused.

“If there was really something wrong with the both of you, you should know what Her Majesty would do to you given her temperament. As for my temperament, you will soon know about it. I will take over this matter from today onward and both of you will report to me. I’m different from Her Majesty. Her Majesty has too many things to worry about every day and can’t be bothered with this matter. I’m definitely not someone that can be trifled with. If you do a good job, I will reward you. If you do a bad job, I will punish you. I hope you know what you should do, and I will not reward you unduly. Otherwise, you should know the consequences.”

Ren Baqian did not know whether or not these two manager had colluded with outsiders. In any case, something seemed amiss to him. No matter what, he had to intimidate them first.

“The goods this year will be different from those of the past years. There are two things that I want you to sell this year…” Ren Baqian opened up a box beside him, took out a goblet and a classic drinking glass, and placed them on the table. Then, he took out two mirrors and placed them on the table too.

“How much do you think these can be sold for?”

“This is a cup? It’s so clear and transparent. What is it made of? I think these can be sold for at least 500 taels of silver each.”

“This mirror is completely different from bronze mirrors. The reflection it produces is extremely clear. I think it can be sold for at least 1,000 taels of silver.”

The two managers had surprised looks on their faces. The drinking glass did not have any impurities at all and was completely transparent. Every single hair on their faces were clearly reflected in the mirror.

“Don’t tell me you’re spies from other nations?” Ren Baqian took a closer look at the two men.

“Sir!” The two of them were shocked.

“These cups can be sold for at least 5,000 taels of silver each. They are carved out of pure gemstones. For this quality, how can you sell them for 500 taels each?”

“And this mirror, it is exquisite, shiny, and its reflection is perfectly clear. It should be sold for at least 30,000 taels of silver.”

One had to know that when Venice first produced mercury mirrors, they sold these mercury mirrors for 15 francs each. Furthermore, these mercury mirrors were decorated with only tinfoil. Therefore, he did not go overboard by setting a selling price of 30,000 taels of silver for such a perfect-quality mirror.

They had made too many mirrors. Furthermore, Ren Baqian reckoned that they would appear in many places in Dayao after a few more years. He wanted to sell them off as soon as possible so that they could make a huge profit. He even thought of increasing the price.

“Sir, no one would buy them at this price,” the two managers said softly.

“Are you idiots?” Ren Baqian felt like knocking their heads.

“There are many brothels in those two nations, right? Find the best brothel, give them a sum of money, and get their famous courtesans to auction these cups personally. The highest bidder wins the cups. Let me tell you, brothels are where rich young masters can be found in abundance. Every place you go, sell a pair of these cups. After you’re done with one city, move on to another. It’s easy to deal with the brothels. You can give them 1,000 taels of silver and take all the profits made from the sale of the cups or you can just split the profits with them. If they are unable to sell the cups, give them 500 taels of silver and set the starting auction price at 5,000 taels. Subsequently, give the brothels the extra profits you make. Do you think they won’t take up this offer? You can also find an influential rich young master and gift him a pair of these cups. Then, ask him to introduce the cups to other people without any conditions. If he really does it, give him a small sum of money. For every cup that is sold, give him an additional 500 taels of silver. Once the reputation of these cups has been built up, people will automatically approach you to buy them. For this mirror, you have to remember this line, ‘Love is eternal, a mirror can be handed down forever.’ This mirror can be the best love token for lovers to gift each other. As for those married couples, what would be more precious to a woman than having a mirror that can perfectly reflect her looks? A man can always lie to a woman, but this mirror will never lie…”

Ren Baqian gave the two managers a two-hour-long lesson on sales, causing them to be dumbstruck in the process.