Seizing Dreams

Graduation thesis, interview features, interview manuscripts for this month, proofreading duty……When Yu Hao thought about all the things he had to do, he was struck by an impulse to resign. He began to understand why there were always people who wanted to just quit their jobs. It really is quite relaxing to just lay at home every day and do nothing! Going to work day after day, year after year, no matter how much one likes their job, they would eventually feel a sense of burnout. He hadn’t even worked for half a year, and it was a job that he wanted to do…Yu Hao didn’t even dare to think about how he would be like right now if he had found a job he didn’t like. He would probably live like a walking corpse every day ba.

“Stop worrying, will you?” Zhou Sheng said, “You can go act as Judge Bao with that look of yours.”

In February, Beijing was still bitingly cold and windy. Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng dragged their luggage and pushed open the door to their home. No one has lived in it for nearly half a month, and it emitted a moldy smell unique to winter. Zhou Sheng kicked his luggage into a corner, drew the curtains, rolled his sleeves up, and started cleaning up. Yu Hao placed a pomelo peel on the heating pipe, wiped the tables, brewed coffee, and opened up his laptop on the table.

“I can’t finish doing all this!” Yu Hao turned frantic.

With so much work to do, Yu Hao really felt like breaking down. It was impossible to get rid of the anxiety he was feeling, and it even made him and Zhou Sheng quarrel on the high-speed railway. The trigger for it was how Zhou Sheng was too engrossed in playing his video game, and although he was wearing headphones, the striking of the buttons and how Zhou Sheng’s body kept tilting here and there disturbed Yu Hao and made him feel ill at ease. In the end, Yu Hao angrily told him to stop playing, while Zhou Sheng just looked baffled. After they argued a bit, Zhou Sheng could only lean against his chair to take a nap. Yu Hao tapped away noisily on his laptop rapidly, and soon after, Zhou Sheng’s head drooped over and leaned on Yu Hao’s shoulder, and he slept the whole way back. When they alighted, the two of them were okay again as if nothing had happened.

“Just write whatever you want.” Zhou Sheng said, “Or I can help you write it?”

“Kaikai will be able to tell.” Yu Hao smoothed the hair on his forehead back, his hair was too long now.

Zhou Sheeng found a rubber band from somewhere and tied a small braid for him. He said, “Eat more sweets, your brain will be able to work better that way. Let me see, what are you writing? You’re a reporter, why are you writing this?”

The topic of Yu Hao’s thesis was “Self-concept”, which had a very complex scope. After reading it, Chen Yekai didn’t suggest that he change the topic, and instead thought that he had picked a really good topic. After all, the unification of one’s personality and the basis of self-perception are important cornerstones of being human. After shuttling through so many dreams with the Golden Crow Wheel, this was the most important issue he had perceived, and also the most pressing point he that he had needed to understand.

Having experienced his dark self in the Great Wall, the blank Chen Yekai in the depths of Chichén Itzá, Satan Zhou Sheng in the arena, Liang Jinmin’s childhood and marriage, Fu Liqun’s ancient Loulan city…Yu Hao was perusing the works of Jung, Freud, Dewey, Wundt, and other such people in hopes of finding one main explanation for the emergence of one’s personality. It felt as if these views were hidden in a dense fog — he clearly knew that they must be there, just that the fog was vast and obscure to the point where he couldn’t even see his fingers. He would still need to put in effort over a long period of time for the ideas to be clearly captured.

This was the source of all of Yu Hao’s anxiety.

“What are you doing?” Yu Hao saw that Zhou Sheng was rummaging through everywhere; he checked the kitchen cabinets, wardrobes, bedside drawer, and decorative paintings, making him look very much like a detection dog.

“Wiretaps.” Zhou Sheng said, “Didn’t you realise? When we weren’t home, someone came, and there were two waves of them.”

“How did you find out?” Yu Hao became vigilant.

Zhou Sheng, “Private detectives have their own means, of course. Otherwise how would we be able to do our job?”

Yu Hao thought that before Zhou Sheng left, he should’ve done something to their house, and now that he was saying this, it should mean that he hadn’t found any more wiretaps. After Zhou Sheng checked his territory, he pulled out a vacuum cleaner and started vacuuming. Yu Hao was so annoyed by the noise of the vacuum cleaner that he had to stop writing his thesis and instead went over to clean up with Zhou Sheng.

“What should we do next?” Yu Hao asked.

“Wait.” Zhou Sheng answered, “Wait for them to come to us. We’ll discuss some terms with Huang Ting.”

Yu Hao said, “I have a hunch, Zhou Sheng, that we may get a conclusion regarding the Golden Crow Wheel in the near future.”

Zhou Sheng poured out the dust in the vacuum cleaner, sneezed, and said, “Why? Because life never gives anything for nothing, and a price is always exacted for what fate bestows?”

That was quoted from Zweig. Yu Hao knew that Zhou Sheng has never been able to be relieved of suspense of the Golden Crow Wheel’s existence. Ever since the first day he got it, the Golden Crow Wheel had turned into a double-edged sword in their lives. They needed to keep up a certain degree of vigilance at all times to guard against any trouble that could come from it.

Although for the past several years, every time they activated the Golden Crow Wheel, a lot has changed for either themselves or for their good friends, and it has never let them down. If it was sentient, then it wouldn’t be fair to look at it in that way.

Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao sat at the dining table. Zhou Sheng flicked the Golden Crow Wheel with his thumb, and Yu Hao caught it.

“Do you think we’ll end up losing it?” Zhou Sheng asked.

Yu Hao answered, “I can feel that there’s someone who wants to take it away no matter what.” Then he flicked the Golden Crow Wheel back. The Golden Crow Wheel drew a shining arc in the air and landed in Zhou Sheng’s hand.

Zhou Sheng, “I’ve had thoughts of giving it up thrice in my life. The first time was after saving Nini. I was struck by an impulse to throw it into the river.” Then he flicked the Golden Crow Wheel back to Yu Hao. Yu Hao caught it.

That was before Zhou Sheng and Yu Hao had first got acquainted. Yu Hao couldn’t help but recall the past. If he hadn’t guessed that Zhou Sheng was General, then he may still have found it difficult to confirm his feelings, and he didn’t know if they would’ve gotten together in the end.

“Why did you not give it up?” Yu Hao flicked the Golden Crow Wheel back to Zhou Sheng again.

“You wove a bracelet for me.” Zhou Sheng answered, “The second time was after I won second place in the bicycle race. I thought of taking you to Australia and throwing it into the sea at the Great Barrier Reef.”

The Golden Crow Wheel was flicked back. Yu Hao caught it. “Then what about the third time?”

“When I passed it to Kaikai.” Zhou Sheng pondered, “But, from the moment they started targeting the Golden Crow Wheel, which was when this idea emerged for the third time, there was no use in throwing it away anymore.”

Yu Hao put the Golden Crow Wheel on the table. They looked at it together.

“Do your work,” Zhou Sheng opened up his book and said, “Don’t think about it anymore. All problems will have their solutions.”

Yu Hao closed his graduation thesis and began editing his manuscript on pyramid schemes, but his mind wasn’t on it.

“The Golden Crow Wheel has already been taken away by Huang Ting.” Yu Hao said, “Has he found out that it was a fake? If he has, then coming into our house can be explained, but if he hasn’t, then what did they come here for? And they didn’t even install any wiretaps or surveillance?”

There was a hint of a smile in Zhou Sheng’s gaze. He glanced at Yu Hao and gave him a thumbs up, signalling to him that he was smart.

Yu Hao thought about it for a moment before saying, “Zhou Sheng, tell me, what is your plan exactly?”

Zhou Sheng kept silent. Yu Hao said, “Don’t hide things from me all the time. I know you don’t want me to worry, but if you don’t say anything, it’ll just make me worry even more you know?”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to worry.” Zhou Sheng closed his book. He looked up at the ceiling, pondered for a moment, then looked straight into Yu Hao’s eyes. He said, “It’s just that later on, there’s a part in our plans that can only be executed perfectly under the premise that you’re unaware of everything.”

Yu Hao looked at Zhou Sheng doubtfully. Zhou Sheng grasped the Golden Crow Wheel and tapped it gently on the table, then continued, “Like a dream. You must now know that you’re in it before everything can be completed through your hands. Before that happens, explaining everything to you would increase the risks.”

Yu Hao roughly understood Zhou Sheng’s words, so he immediately nodded. “Okay then, I won’t ask anymore.”

But after a while, Yu Hao still couldn’t hold himself back from asking another question.

“What’s the ultimate goal of all this?” Yu Hao said, “Can you tell me that?”

Zhou Sheng didn’t reply and instead flipped through his book again. He twirled his pen with his fingers a few times, and the pen spun around between his dexterous fingers.

“Draw all the enemies out,” Zhou Sheng said nonchalantly, “Make them forget everything all at once. After it all ends, throw the Golden Crow Wheel back to where I first picked it up, then ‘The End’.”

Yu Hao, “……”

Zhou Sheng continued, “But before concluding this, I want to know as much of the truth as possible.”

“What truth?” Yu Hao asked.

“What on earth it is, where it came from, what it’s used for, and why it chose me.” Zhou Sheng stated, “Aren’t you curious? Of course, there may eventually be some amendments to this plan based on the information I gather from the Golden Crow Wheel, so there are a lot of uncertainties that may pop up at any time, so I can’t discuss it clearly with you.”

“Okay then.” Yu Hao could only say, “As long as you know what you’re doing.”

“Trust me.” Zhou Sheng said, “Trust me at all times.”

“I’ve never really worried much about you.” Yu Hao answered.

Zhou Sheng laughed, “Look at those worshipful little eyes of yours.”