413 Second Shixiong is an Asshole
Chen Xiaobei's supercar could only seat two people, so Luo Puti went on his car while the others hailed a cab.
"Honey, please tell me… What the hell just happened?" Chen Xiaobei spoke after driving in silence for some time.
"I'm just pretending that you're the person we're looking for," Luo Puti replied. "Don't worry, you're not!"
"I'm glad… I'm really glad… I don't want any other parents other than mine!" Chen Xiaobei was relieved. "But, why would you do that?"
"I'm positive that our enemies would ambush us," she said with a lowered voice. "I want everyone to think that you're our objective, so that Poseidon would make a grab for you while the real person arrives at Dragon City, safe and sound!"
"Amazing! Dear wife, you're bloody brilliant!" Chen Xiaobei gave her a thumb-up.
"You don't have to worry about your safety either." Luo Puti continued. "Poseidon wants that special person to be alive and well – you'll be the safest person in the entire planet!"
"But you'll be in danger," Chen Xiaobei suddenly frowned. "There's no question that Poseidon would definitely want to kill you this time!"
"Let them come!" Luo Puti said gravely. "I'm ready to die for this mission!"
"Bullshit! I won't let you!" Chen Xiaobei glared at her with steely resolve.
"Kid, everybody dies. It's just a matter of time." She smiled warmly. "Millions have laid down their lives down for this country, and I would be proud to become one of them."
"Hmm… You're right," Chen Xiaobei simply nodded and smiled back. "Honey, just do whatever you want. I'm pretty close with Yanwang, I could bring you back."
"You're really still a kid, huh?" Luo Puti was surprised that he would make such childish jokes. "That's nonsense! Yanwang is fiction."
Still smiling, Chen Xiaobei changed the topic. "Anyway, did you find your objective?"
"I did." Luo Puti nodded. "Elder Cao arranged for me to meet him yesterday, and one look was enough!"
"How could you be sure?"
"Physical resemblance!" Luo Puti exclaimed. "He looked exactly like that pair of siblings who visited your house during the Mid-Autumn Festival!"
"Mid-Autumn Festival? Are… Are you talking about Lin Xiang and Lin Nan?" Chen Xiaobei was left stunned. He never expected that.
"Yes! Now you just have to think of a way to get a strand of hair from them as soon as possible to complete my plan!"
"Easy-peasy." Chen Xiaobei quickly made a call to Jing Fei – Lin Nan was working at his jewelry shop
They quickly got several strands of Lin Nan's hair. Luo Puti held on to them after they arrived at the hospital and handed them to the doctor after she pretended to pluck a few hairs from Chen Xiaobei. All that was left afterwards was for them to sit down and wait for the DNA test results.
Wu Tianhe, and the other Six Doors officers arrived later. However, they had also stopped messing around and guarded Chen Xiaobei dutifully. He initially struggled to understand why Luo Puti would bring those three idiots with her, before realizing that they made her ruse believable.
It seems that Luo Puti had already outwitted them even before they started mocking him.
"Well, I'm free. I guess I should check on my new items!"
Chen Xiaobei flipped out his cellphone and inspected his treasure chest. He skipped the Dragon Claw of Breast Groping and Seventy-Two Ways to Get Laid manuals; he expressively refused to learn such perverted techniques. He would simply modify and then sell them to the highest bidder at Dragon City later.
Ding!
[Elixir of Obedience: Mixed by Perverted Spirit, it would make any person extremely horny – and they would do anything you ask! Do you want to take it?]
'Well, shit! That is one dirty Red Envelope!' Chen Xiaobei thought with his lips pursed. 'It's useful but I would never use it on any girl I like! Such an underhanded item!'
Ding!
[High-Grade Ma Liang Divine Pen: Crafted by Wei Xiaobao, it can be used to draw animated pictures and its ink never fades. Do you want to take it?]
'Another piece of crap.' Chen Xiaobei thought, sighing. He could not come up with any other purpose for the pen other than to draw animated erotica. Still, those lecherous deities and spirits might send him more Red Envelopes if they liked what he draws… Definitely something to look forward to.
"Last item! Please don't disappoint me!" Chen Xiaobei tapped on the watery blue bellyband.
Ding!
[Bellyband of Qinglian Goddess: an object stolen by Zhu Bajie. Made of Qinglin Divine Silk, it nourishes the owner and has slight defensive usage. Do you want to take it?]
"Zhu Bajie really knows no shame. There's little wonder he can't get Goddess Chang'e to go out with him." Chen Xiaobei raised his eyebrows, thinking that he was quite a decent young man compared to Zhu Bajie.
Heck, that could be why Chang'e took a liking to him.
"Hmmm. I wonder if they have already chosen the deities descending upon us… Could it be Change'e Goddess? Hehehe… I think I could definitely get into her pants with my charm! Bahahahaha…" He started laughing to himself.
"Why are you laughing there like an idiot?" A puzzled Luo Puti asked him as she walked towards him.
"Nothing…" Chen Xiaobei replied. Then his face suddenly lit up and he leapt from his chair. "Honey, I would like to give you something."
"What kind of present?" Luo Puti carefully surveyed him from head to toe, but could not see him hiding anything.
"Follow me! It's a surprise!" Chen Xiaobei quickly grabbed her hand and almost pulled her into the male toilet.