123 A Whole New Level of WTF!
"Huh? Deal? That was fast. Wait! Is this a scam?"
Chen was caught by surprise.
His impression of Wei Xiaobao was that of a cunning and shrewd trickster. Closing this deal so quickly might not be a good thing.
DING!
[Congratulations! Recieved Wei Xiaobao's Red Envelope. Obtained one "Nutbuster". Already stored into your treasure chest.]
"Pfft..." Chen almost spat blood from his mouth as soon as he read the notification. The ultimate "secret technique" that Xiaobao was selling was a book about kicking balls!
"@$^!%$#@!!! Isn't this just a kick to the balls? Who the #$@&* doesn't know that? This costs 787 merit points?! This is daylight robbery!" Chen was crying.
DING!
Wei Xiaobao: Chen, have you received the Red Envelope? Can you send the points to me now?
Chen: (angry emoji X3) YOU CHEATER! What kind of rubbish is this?
Wei Xiaobao: God Chen, now that's a little too far. The Nutbuster is my single, deadliest technique! I caught Aobai using this, you've read about that majestic fight, didn't you?
Chen: I'm not falling for this! I'm sending this back to you!
Wei Xiaobao: God Chen, why don't you take a good look at the manual first before deciding. You might regret returning it!
Chen: Why?
Wei Xiaobao: I have been improving, revising and refining this technique for hundreds of years while stuck here in purgatory. This technique is no longer just a simple kick to the balls! If it was anyone else, I would have sold it even for 3000 merit points! But I am selling it cheap to you now, because of the Wahaha High-cal milk that you previously gave!
Chen: Wait, so I misjudged you? Hold on let me take a look.
Chen immediately opened his treasure chest.
DING!
["Nutbuster Kick" manual: Wei Xiaobao's carefully revised 3-star technique. Do you wish to retrieve?]
"3-star technique? This is some serious @^$#! Even the Luohan Staff did not have any stars to it! Looks like I misjudged him!" Chen quickly retrieved the manual. A ray of light shot out of the phone to his hand and became a thick yellow book. Upon reading it, Chen was shocked beyond words. The book was not really filled with words, but instead, had a lot of illustrations. Wei Xiaobao had taken the simple act of kicking somebody's balls and turned it into an art. Through the illustrations and explanations, he explained and taught on how to destroy your opponent's balls with a kick from all 360 degrees. What was even more surprising was that he even researched and developed a way to channel energy through the kick, to completely penetrate through any defense and deal instant death! With this technique, Chen could even defeat opponents that are of higher defense points than his combat power! For example; Chen's combat power is now 1000. If he fought an opponent with 2000 defense points, his usual attacks would leave them feeling a little itch. With the nutbuster, his opponents would be in a world of pain!
"Oh my god! This skill is dope! This can be a very powerful one-shot skill!" Chen's lips curled upwards in a very evil manner as he sent the merit points to Wei Xiaobao.
Chen: I'm so sorry, o' honarable Master Wei! I was careless and said so many bad things! I love your book!
Wei Xiaobao: My God Chen, you are too polite. Do send more Wahaha if you can. My seven wives all love it so much!
Chen: Hahaha! Yes, I will. As soon as I have the time, I will send some Red Envelopes to the group!
After a brief exchange, Chen put his phone away and started to study the Nutbuster. With the Scholar's Heart, Chen mastered the skill as if it was his own creation, in just half an hour. As soon as he finished that, he began to work on the three medical books. The "Compendium of Materia Medica" was Li Shizhen's lifetime study on various chinese medical herbs. Sun Simiao's "King of Medicine's Journal" contained records on thousands of odd and unusual medical cases, as well their treatment methods. "Nine Dragon Accupunture Technique" is a secret technique that dates back as far as the Qin dynasty. Hua Tuo had inherited its teachings and had unraveled the mysteries of the human body's accupoints. With this knowledge, he was even able to perform surgery during his day! In the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, it was said that Hua Tuo had performed surgery on Lord Guan Yue to remove poison from his arm by cutting into the bone and scraping the poisoned marrow. He had also proposed to perform brain surgery on Cao Cao when attempting to treat his constant headache but was locked up by Cao Cao, claiming that it was an attempt on his life. In just five hours, Chen had studied and completely absorbed the contents of the three books. At this point, the essence of Chinese traditional medicine had been embedded into his brain.
"Chinese medicine is really a treasure of the Chinese culture! The knowledge of our ancestors is really something!" Chen sighed as he closed the last book. After absorbing an ocean of knowledge, he comprehended the greatness of his heritage and felt exceedingly proud of his ancestry.
Looking at his phone, he realised that it was almost dinner time. As father was not able to move about due to his injury, Chen decided to go out and get food from a nearby restaurant instead. He drove out and bought a table full of dishes home to dine with his parents. After the meal, he was about to return to his room to continue studying the three medical texts when he got an unexpected call from Lin Xiang.
"Hello, princess Xiang Xiang! Did you miss me?" Chen said cheekily. He went and took the call outside the house.
"Mmm... I miss you..." Ling Xiang's bashfulness clear in her voice. "I remembered that you were coming back today. Are you free to come over to my place?"
"Why? Is something wrong?" Chen asked.
"No nothing's wrong. It's just... I miss you..." Lin stopped briefly before softly murmuring, "Xiaonan won't be home tonight, and my "relative" (period) isn't due for its monthly visit yet... If we miss this then who knows when..."
"Relative? Your aunt? OH WAIT!" Chen immediately understood what she meant and replied, "Wait for me. I'm on my way!" He hurriedly drove over to her place.
As soon as the door opened, Chen's eyes widened, his heart thumped crazily, and his throat became so dry it could almost start a fire! Today, Lin Xiang was not being her usual conservative self: Her hair had been let down and combed back to show off her fair, smooth neck. She was wearing a light, thin nightgown which showed off her voluptuous figure as she struck a sexy "S" pose. The best part was, she was not wearing anything beneath it! There were no visible panty or bra lines, just a perky pair of "beans" seen threatening to tear through the fabric! Without a doubt, Lin Xiang had already made up her mind to surrender her body to Chen. Her heart was already his to begin with, so giving him her body was just a matter of timing. The longer she held it off, the more uneasy she would feel about it.
"Are you just gonna stare all day, or are you gonna come in?" Lin shyly pulled Chen inside and closed the door behind them.
"Um..." Before he could begin his sentence, she had flung herself into his arms and her lips had already found his and their tongues became engaged in a fierce tongue wrestling match! The intense battle went on from the entrance to the living room, and continued on to the bedroom. Their clothes were coming off piece by piece, scattered all over the floor. Before the main event, Lin was already panting heavily, her body was wet with sweet perspiration.
"Chen... Please be gentle when you put it in... It's my first time..." Lin said while biting her lips. Her face was already bright red.
"Don't worry babe, I'll be very gentle..." Chen was already engulfed in the sea of fire that was called lust. In less than half a step, they would both go from being at close distance, to no distance at all. Right now, Chen was excited beyond words. In just one move, one motion, he would finally graduate from being a boy to a man!
"Sis! Sis! Sis! Pick up your phone! Lalala! Lalala! I'm a little newspaper boy..." Just right at the most crucial moment, the most important moment of Chen's life, a most unexpected voice came and almost scared Chen to death...
"$@$%^ Who is that?" Chen wanted to cry.
Lin was perplexed. "This is the ringtone that my brother customized for me... It only rings like that when he is calling..."
"Pffft..." Chen felt a dull pain in his chest, as if he had suffered an internal injury and could puke blood at anytime.
"Lin Nan that asshole!"
Now of all times! Right when he was already so close! This was really a whole new level of what the f*ck!!!