My Pick Up Artist System

4 days to live.

"Don't touch me ass-goblins!" Ben jolted awake screaming from a nightmare. After looking around, he relaxed, realizing he was safe in his dorm room bed.

"What kind of dreams are you having?" Sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, Fariq showed a strange expression.

Ben didn't know what to say until he noticed a certain ID on his desk. "A dream at Danny DeVito's family reunion."

…

Fariq nodded in understanding. The best lies came from partial truths…

Ben sat up looked through his window out at Washington Square Park. Birds and passing cars composed the morning's orchestra.

Through great peril, Ben made it home last night. He was so tired he almost passed out many times on the train ride back. Even though his body was no longer in danger, that didn't block the nightmares. Ben didn't have any problem with homosexuals or fetishists, or even creatures partaking in any form of ass-goblinry, but he wasn't interested in becoming a cave slave…

Ben reflected on the encounter with Tina... 'I've worked so hard at being assertive with women: chasing them, leading the interaction. Despite that, my first sexual experience was as the passive one…Not sure how I should feel about that...' He gathered his complicated thoughts for several seconds. 'F*ck that sh*t! Daddy got his nut off!'

It was all about results in the end. 'Although I didn't directly use the pick up skills I've been working on, the passives I developed still played a role. If I hadn't raised my looks, manliness, and charisma stats, I doubt she would've approached me. Also, to get lucky, I had to expose myself for the opportunity to find me. I've been approaching women or going out every night for almost a month. That's key. I'm not a gynecologist; Random poon doesn't deliver itself to my house…'

Now that he had his first sexual experience, Ben felt more confident. 'If I can do 1, I can do a million!'

…Ok, very confident, but math wasn't his strong suit.

'Although it wasn't sex, I got a taste of the sweetness. Those breasticles…' Ben held the fondest memories close to his wheenis…

'It was awesome. I want more…' After all that hard work, he accomplished it; Ben touched the edge of the dao of perversion!

'All right, let's not lose track of the important things in life; time to review them points.' Ben checked his system alerts from last night.

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Poking the Dark Abyss(uncommon) - Visit the dark side and view its spectacles]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200]

'The title doesn't sound right…'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Tri-Strangubate(fine) - Take part in a three-way strangulation masturbation]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

"It's bullsh*t! I did not take part! I did nawt! ...Oh hai Fariq!" Ben forgot Fariq was there.

Fariq glanced up from his books and stared at Ben, wondering if he was all right.

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Legendary Genitalia Sculptor(fine) - Permanently change the shape of someone's genitalia with your tender touch]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

Ben shook his head in disbelief. 'There was no tenderness...It was a punch! Self defense! Why must you slander me?!?'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Titled Pervert(rare) - Earn a custom title from your deeds(C*ckpuncher)]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 1000]

[User has unlocked system: Titles]

[User has gained the Title: C*ckpuncher(uncommon)]

'Titles?' Ben asked the system for more details. It turned out titles provided various bonuses, but he could only equip one at a time. 'It's nice to unlock something new, but...C*ckpuncher...' After a few seconds, Ben shrugged. 'Should be one of the better c*ck-related titles…'

He opened the Titles category and then his only title for more information on the bonus it provided.

[C*ckpuncher(uncommon): When punching a c*ck, targeted c*ck receives 30% bonus damage and a higher chance of permanent bending]

…

Ben squinted. 'Real f*cking useful...Whatever, doesn't matter. Better than nothing? …Maybe.'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Afistionado(fine) - Participate in a fisting session]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

Ben shot up out of bed. "Misreported! Misreported on all charges!"

Ben wished he could speak to the manager! What kind of record-keeping was this?

"Whatever that's troubling you, I believe you buddy…" Fariq consoled.

Ben's eyes turned red. 'Why couldn't I get a Fariq system? …Forget it. Better achievements should come up soon.'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Honey D*cking(uncommon) - Get opened by an unknown woman]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200]

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Get Ready For Dicksappointment(fine) - Get propositioned by an unknown woman for a sexual act]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

Ben nodded. 'A double-layered pun. Nice. I'm not even mad.'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Globetrotting(uncommon) - Have a woman show you her breasts…by choice]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200]

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Forever Filthy(uncommon) - Have a woman touch your penis…by choice]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200]

'Oh come on…it's not forever. There's hand sanitizer.'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Titty Boom Boom(repeatable, uncommon) - Get a titjob from a new woman]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200]

This was the first repeatable achievement Ben had seen. After asking the system, he learned that he'd only gain one repeatable achievement per sexual encounter with a girl and it would default to the one with the highest points. So he couldn't chain a bunch of achievements with a girl; Once he had sex, all the sexual acts with lower points during that encounter would become nullified.

He also noticed the "new woman" part. It seemed the system prioritized seeking new partners. 'I have an excuse now...' Ben spread a mischievous smile. If he became a manslut, it wouldn't be his fault. That's just how the system raised him.

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Golden Showers Bring May Flowers(fine) - Participate in a group golden shower]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

'It only touched my shoes! I don't want it…' Ben did his best Jon Snow impression… Despite that, the prosecution threw as many charges as possible at him to create pressure on the defense!

He pleaded innocent but he was close to pleading insanity!

'Why did it have to end on that?' That was Ben's last achievement. He shook it off though. Ben's mood lifted because he had a mountain of points!

It was time to unbox new loot!

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*Author's note: Thank you to everyone who has supported the novel with votes! Ben relies on you for his mental health!