My Master Disconnected Yet Again

“A System?” Lonemoon hesitated. He scanned the person in front of him from head to toe and continued, “Why is there such a System in a world of immortal cultivators? Are you also a transmigrator?” Do people these days transmigrate however and whenever they want?

“Transmigrat—burp… what does that mean?” Feng Ying frowned as he asked. He finally managed to stop crying and burped.

“So you didn’t transmigrate?” Lonemoon’s curiosity was piqued. “Then what is this System in your body?”

“Hmph! Why must I—burp—tell you—burp—guys?” Feng Ying had no intention to cooperate at all, tutting furiously. Unfortunately, he did not look very intimidating while he was burping. “This System—burp—has been around since I signed my soul—burp—contract. You might be envious but…”

Before he could finish, however, a sound came from his body. Only he and Shen Ying could hear what the System said next.

[Ding! Serial number: CIEH12 Model System at your service. This System was produced by Heng Youqian ¹ Company in Dimension 3584.65 on Planet Number ZC999. Due to a sudden interstellar storm that hit the System’s original dimension, it came to this dimension. Heng Youqian Company was committed to the development of these Systems. CIEH12 is the 12th System of this model. It can correct and guide the host’s misconduct and guarantee the health and growth of the host. Current host: Feng Ying!]

Feng Ying: “…” This System is so quick to betray its owner.

(╯‵□′)╯(┻━┻

“What did you hear?” Lonemoon asked Shen Ying. Only Shen Ying and Feng Ying could hear the System. “What is this thing?”

Even Yi Qing curiously waited for Shen Ying’s answer.

“Er…” Shen Ying thought for a moment and then explained, “In conclusion, it’s a… parenting System!”

Lonemoon and Yi Qing’s expressions went blank. Together, they responded, “Oh…” And then, they turned to look at the ‘child’.

“Who said this is a parenting System?” Feng Ying was infuriated. He was a Perfected Nascent Soul cultivator after all, definitely not a child. “Do you know it-”

[Ding!]

Before he could finish, however, the System sounded once more.

[Serial number: CIEH12. Main capabilities: detection, navigation, persuasion, demonstration and storage of the full set of Planet ZC999’s primary rules and regulations. This System was specially designed for sentient beings, from newborns to juveniles.]

Feng Ying: “…”

Whose System are you? Why are you making me look bad? Feng Ying felt as if the System no longer recognized him as its host ever since he came to Invincible Sect.

“Good System!” Shen Ying praised.

[Ding! Mission: May the host please thank the badass on this System’s behalf? Thank you!]

“…” My heart is so weary!

“Talk…” Shen Ying pushed Feng Ying onto a chair and sat down atop a stage. She picked up a pastry with a casual sweep of her hand. “Why did you suddenly go to the back of the mountain and trample all over my radish land?” She had spent half a day watering the radishes. Although she did not like to eat vegetables, she did care about the fruits of her labor. Feng Ying had single-handedly ruined the fruits of her labor.

Feng Ying’s mouth twitched. Was this the reason she had captured him? Who cares about your radish land!

“Hmph, you have the upper hand now and act like you’re right, but I won’t tell you anything.”

[Ding! Exporting host’s data…]

“…” Shit!

[Host: Feng Ying! Low-dimensional life-form; age in this dimension: 236; gender: male; mid-stage Nascent Soul. The host possesses three elemental Spirit Roots: Gold, Fire and Earth. Low-quality qualifications (cleansed to high-quality); bound by the System at the age of three; successfully activated at age 39. Techniques: Sword technique, Invisibility technique, Core Mixing technique, etc.]

[Top events in the host’s life: 1. At the age of five years and three months, he was beaten by the parents of the four-year-old girl next door that he kissed. His life was not threatened; 2. At the age of ten years and seven months, he wet his bed at 3 a.m., causing a fire to break out. His life was not threatened; 3. At the age of 20 years and three months-]

“Shut up!” Feng Ying shouted, his face flushed. All he wanted to do now was to bury himself in a pit.

(╯‵□′)╯(┻━┻

He wanted to flip this table! Why hadn’t he found out earlier that the System kept all these things on record? Why were records from a hundred years ago still in there? She called you a parenting System and you really have to act like one?

Shen Ying had been repeating after the System, word for word, so that everyone else who was present could understand what was going on.

The three of them immediately focused their gazes on Feng Ying.

“Don’t tell anyone!”

For the first time in his life, he really wanted to die.

Five minutes later…

“Er… well.” Lonemoon cleared his throat. He finally tore his gaze away from the cultivator who had still wet his bed at age ten. “So he located Invincible Sect using this System?”

Although he did tell his business partner, the Yin Family, about where the Invincible Sect was located at, because they were located in the Demon Realm, he told them that they would meet at Upper Azure Town instead. What’s more, the Yin Family would not have told others about Invincible Sect’s location. Given the number of demons that lurked around in the Demon Realm, it would be difficult for anyone to approach the Invincible Sect’s abode safely. Feng Ying was only at the Nascent Soul stage—there was no way he would have made it if not for the System.

“So what if that’s the case!” Feng Ying tutted once more and turned away. He was thoroughly indignant.

He glanced at the overjoyed Shen Ying who was standing beside him and gritted his teeth. Just his luck! He had not thought that the System would cause him such problems. Now, not only did he fail to take revenge for his brothers, the System’s strange missions made him lose the reputation that he had built up over hundreds of years.

What exactly did the System mean by “badass”?

“You…” He couldn’t help but ask, “What exactly did you do to the System? How are you the only one who can hear what it says?” And why does the System answer every single one of your questions?

Shen Ying hesitated, and then shook her head innocently, saying, “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know!” Feng Ying jumped out of his chair. “Then why is it helping you all the time?” If soul contracts could be terminated, he imagined that the System would want to change its host.

“I really don’t know.”

“… If you don’t want to tell me, then forget it.”

“She’s not lying,” Lonemoon said empathetically. “When she says she doesn’t know, she really doesn’t know. You just have to get used to it.” How naive. What use is it to try to reason with a cheat? Just accept things as they are.

Feng Ying couldn’t believe his ears. He turned to Shen Ying angrily and said, “I’m unlucky today to have ended up in your hands. Kill me if you want to, otherwise I will not let you off for destroying my Soul Chasing Tower.”

“Soul Chasing Tower?” Shen Ying paused. She turned to Lonemoon and Yi Qing and asked, “What’s he talking about?”

The two of them stiffened.

Lonemoon: “Well… this person doesn’t look like much of a problem. Shen Ying, you handle him. I’ll go check out how the disciples are doing.”

Yi Qing: “It’s almost noon. Master, I’m going to prepare lunch.”

The two of them disappeared immediately.

Shen Ying: “…” Son of a b*tch!

“Eh, why did those people call you Shen Ying?” Feng Ying hesitated. “Aren’t you Yi Qing, the sect master of Invincible Sect? You have two names?”

Shen Ying’s mouth twitched. She turned to him and replied, “Didn’t you say the Soul Chasing Tower knows about everything?” Why are you asking me?

“Of course,” he replied cockily. “I don’t mean to brag, but so long as I’m inclined, I can even find out what undergarments the masters of the four aristocratic families are wearing tonight.”

“Oh, go and find out then.”

“…”