My Master Disconnected Yet Again

Song Ren and Yun Heng seemed to be at loggerheads. To put it more accurately, Song Ren could not stand Yun Heng. Each time they met, Song Ren’s entire ghost body would feel uncomfortable after just exchanging a couple of greetings. In the past, when Yun Heng was busy managing the other Mystic cultivators and came by the rear hall less often, things were better. Ever since he began to train, however, he could not keep away. His cultivation was high, naturally his skills would be different from everyone else’s. He could only consult Yi Qing and Lonemoon and had no choice but to run into the rear hall every now and then. That was why he bumped into Song Ren more often as well.

Even though Yun Heng was good-tempered, he would get angered every time he made contact with Song Ren. Song Ren, on the other hand, loved to see him get agitated. Even when Yun Heng did not come to the rear hall, Song Ren would go out to look for him just to irritate him.

From time to time, Song Ren would doodle on Yun Heng’s dharmic robes. He would also dig pits in the roads that Yun Heng had to walk on. While Yun Heng was sleeping, Song Ren would break his bed’s headboard. He would also take away all the tissues while Yun Heng was in the toilet. These things were not major, but they drove everyone crazy. The sect would echo with the disciples’ angry screams aimed at Song Ren every now and then.

Yet, Song Ren was having loads of fun. Every time he saw Yun Heng suffer, he looked relieved.

“By the way…” Shen Ying could not hold back any longer. “How much do you hate Lightbulb?”

“I don’t hate him!” Song Ren blinked innocently. In a serious tone, he said, “Exalted Immortal, please relax. I am not such a petty person.”

“Oh.” Shen Ying tilted her head and pointed to Yun Heng, who was opposite from her. “Then can you please take that pail away from above that man’s head?” He had already been pouring water over Yun Heng for half a day. He’s a man, not a radish – why did he have to water him?

Yi Qing: “…”

Lonemoon, “…”

Yun Heng, who was drenched to the bone: “…”

“Yes, Exalted Immortal!” Song Ren immediately set the pail down with a relieved expression. In any case, the pail was already empty.

Yun Heng wiped the water off his face and conjured a new seal that he learned – a dust-removing seal. A few moments later, his robes were dry again. It was as if he was already used to people playing pranks on him. He turned around and bowed to Lonemoon. “Thank you for teaching me this, Master. Your disciple understands now. I will take my leave to practise now.”

“Alright, go ahead.” Lonemoon nodded.

He quickly held onto his robe, which was covered in strange, different-colored tortoises, and ran out, as if afraid that Song Ren would stalk him.

Everyone turned to stare at a certain ghost…

“I didn’t do anything!” Song Ren hid the pail behind his body and looked to the sky nonchalantly.

The three of them: “…” Do you think we’re blind?

It was not that they did not try to stop Song Ren either. However, Song Ren was especially stubborn when it came to matters related to Yun Heng. No matter what they said, he would not budge. Even if they put him in isolation, he would imitate the other disciples and train as a ghost immortal. Once he was released, he would return to annoy Song Ren. All they could do was watch as he changed from a cowardly ghost to a terribly mischievous ghost.

“You…” Yi Qing scanned him from head to toe and sighed frustratedly. “Forget it!” Yi Qing could not tell if he had been influenced by Radish’s illusory body before. For some reason, he was becoming more and more like Radish. What’s more, he had always felt this repulsion toward Yun Heng. Yi Qing was sure there was a reason for it. Although Yun Heng really did not know who Song Ren was, they could have had some kind of connection on another level. There was cause and effect. They could not interfere too much with these things.

“Exalted Immortal…” Song Ren suddenly recalled something and turned to face them. He took a long detour to get to Yi Qing and said in a low voice, “Do you think… my illusory body is sick?”

Yi Qing paused and looked at him. “How can an illusory body be sick?” It’s an immortal body, not a mortal one.

“But…” His expression turned complicated. He seemed to be worried about something. Scratching his temple, he squirmed and answered, “I feel like my body is different from before. This body came from you. How about… you check it out for me?”

“Huh?” Yi Qing frowned. Song Ren’s soul could generate grievous energy. It would indeed be troublesome if there were problems with this illusory body. Thus, Yi Qing place touched his forehead with one finger. A moment later, he retracted it. “You’re fine.”

“How can that be?” Song Ren looked shocked. “That’s not possible? Why don’t you check again?”

“You’re really fine.”

“Well…” He became more anxious. He looked at Lonemoon desperately. “How about-”

“Chef said you’re fine – that means you’re definitely fine,” Lonemoon interrupted before Song Ren could finish his sentence. “An illusory body is a product of immortal sorcery. He knows more about these things than I do.”

“But I really ” Song Ren was looking more strange now. He became paler as he became tongue-tied.

“What are you trying to say?” Lonemoon asked.

Yi Qing could also tell that Song Ren did not look quite right. “Just spit it out!”

“I…” Song Ren stole a glance at Shen Ying, who was beside him. Something flashed across his face as he cleared his throat. “Well, Exalted Immortals, can we… step aside and talk?”

After he finished speaking and before either of them could react, he took each one of their arms with each of his hands and led them outside, leaving behind Shen Ying, who was still chewing on her fruits.

Shen Ying, “…”

Were they talking about some male secrets that she could not listen to?

(⊙_⊙)?

“What’s the matter?” Yi Qing frowned. He was now looking at the sneaky ghost in an annoyed manner. Master was too far away – what if she got kidnapped?

“Exalted Immortals…” Song Ren’s expression turned anxious once more. “My illusory body really does have a problem. In these two days, I feel markedly different.”

“In what way?”

Song Ren looked confused as he replied, “Reporting to Exalted Immortal – these two days, my body has been feeling warm. It’s also been hurting a bit every now and then, as if something has been added to it! I don’t know what’s the cause.”

“…” Yi Qing stared blankly back at him. Suddenly, he recalled something. He stiffened.

“What’s the matter, Chef?” Lonemoon turned to ask him. “Is his condition serious?”

“…” No. Yi Qing pursed his lips. A moment later, he said, “His illusory body… was made from Radish’s dandelions.”

Dande… lions?

Radish’s!

(⊙_⊙)

Lonemoon immediately understood and stiffened as well. Both of them immediately looked down at Radish’s private area.

“…”

The silence became pregnant.

“What… what’s the matter?” Song Ren felt a chill at his lower body. He started. Beginning to wonder if he had contracted a chronic illness, he gritted his teeth and asked, “Is this a novel situation that you have never seen before? Why don’t you take a look for me?” They were all men afterall. He began to pull down his pants.

“Stop!” The two of them exclaimed.

The two men reached out and held onto his hands with a death grip.

“We’re not that close!” Don’t imitate Radish in this aspect!

“Then what should I do?”

“Relax, you’re alright!” Yi Qing’s expression was slightly strange now. “Your illusory body… was like this to begin with. That’s normal – you just have to get used to it!”

“That’s right, that’s right!” Lonemoon nodded profusely. “This is all normal.”

“But…”

“No buts! Wait for a few days. You can pluck it off once it grows out.”

“That’s right. For all we know, you could even hand it to the disciples to use for pill refinement and consumption or whatever.”

Song Ren, “…”

Pluck it off? Pill refinement? Consumption!

Σ(°△°|||)

Are you demons?!