Chapter 60: I'm Fine
Wanting a way of relieving herself from the anger and frustration she had felt from seeing her parents, Zhao Lifei wanted to completely immerse herself into playing the piano. But before that, she unconsciously grabbed something to drink from the fridge. Not even bothering to check what it was, she drank the entire bottle.
The taste was extremely familiar and heavenly-sweet, like a poison clogging her mind. Within a matter of minutes, her brain became hazy and she could barely think straight.
She sat down on the bench where she spends the majority of her time bleeding her heart out. She pressed one key, then two, three, until her fingers created a melancholic symphony.
She had always played from her memory because they felt familiar to her. They felt safe and secure — nothing like her traumatic past or the terrifying uncertainty of the future.
Filling the living room was the sound of hauntingly sorrowful melody. Somewhere along the way, she began to slowly sing the lyrics of a song she had heard a few months ago.
"Gradually the warm summer air becomes winter.
The fallen petals are reminiscing of the youthful spring days.
Flowers of spring have withered to become ash.
Underneath the twilight night,
You remind me this glimmer of hope is like the stars, forever out of reach, but seemingly close."
A memory passed through her, the memory of a dazzling woman surrounded by the lively laughter of people.
The woman was smiling, her eyes bright with innocence, completely unaware of the creeping future that would surely destroy her. Standing in a crowd of socialite was an adolescent Zhao Lifei who was still young and not corrupted by envy, for Xia Mengxi had yet to enter the scene.
"A love like a calamity washes over me
You stand by the tides completely unscathed by the wind, thunder, and rain.
Whispers become screams, rain turns into an endless downpour of tears enough to fill the ocean.
The petals become ash.
The seemingly sweet fragrance of youthful love becomes bitter."
She thought back to her teenage years where Zheng Tianyi still saw her as a good friend. Before Xia Mengxi came into the picture, he actually placed her in a safe spot within his heart, seeing her as a good and beneficial acquaintance.
She remembered a heart-warming scene of Zheng Tianyi placing a white flower into her hair, the color reminding her she was still "pure."
The happy memory was completed shattered and replacing it was the familiar scene she had witnessed for a very long time. Zheng Tianyi turning a cold-shoulder to her, as she frantically grabbed and begged for him, the bitter tears flowing down her face as she sobbed on the floor.
Mocking her was the perfume she had used in her adolescent years. The expensive bottle, tossed on the floor, and mixed with the water from the broken vase beside it, became a pungent smell.
"I dance upon the fallen petals
Blinded by the delusions of false hope.
You dance with the new, forever abandoning the old.
Youthful, but old, different and new
You're mingling amongst the white lilies,
As the petals become ashes, lifting into the air.
My love, forgotten and weightless, following the lonely wind,
Blowing away from you,
The ashes of my love..."
Zhao Lifei played the piano the entire day, to the point of where her fingers were barely able to move. Shaking and drenched in cold sweat, she decided to finally rest her head on the cool surface of the piano. Staring at nothing in particular, she felt lonely.
Taking in the spacious apartment filled with furniture for a single person, the enormous couch meant for a family, the unoccupied room for guests.
She thought this apartment was too big for her.
The darkness was haunting, the loneliness was depressing, and the enormous window looking out the beautiful city lights can make someone feel extremely small. Zhao Lifei couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness.
All alone...that's how she had always been.
She was on the brink of falling asleep when the familiar tune of her phone can be heard throughout the living room. She was confused as to who was calling her. After a second of hesitation, she finally decided to stand up and pick up the call without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello...?" She quietly said, her voice somber and depressing. She walked to the glass wall that separates her from the rest of the world. She stared at the glaring city lights filled with life but wreaked of lonely souls.
"Lifei." His voice, firm and absolute as always, confused her.
She glanced at her phone to confirm that it really was him, and her heart skipped a tiny beat. She blinked at the sudden emotion, her fingers growing clammy when she thought about how familiar this feeling was. No, not again...
"You sound upset. What happened?" He asked her, his voice becoming smooth like the most luxurious cup of hot chocolate. Warm, beckoning, and tender. It made her feel that everything is good and wonderful. Zhao Lifei felt a tremor pass through her at the sincerity of his voice.
"Nothing happened. You're overthinking it." She said, but her words didn't comfort him.
Yang Feng sat in his car, legs crossed and staring at the window. It was already 9 PM but he was just returning home from the office. Upon hearing how different she sounded compared to the lively version of her during breakfast, he immediately ordered Hu Wei to turn the car back around and head to Lifei's apartment that was on the other side of the city.
"You clearly don't sound fine." Yang Feng objected, his gaze dark but tone filled with worry.
"..."
She didn't say anything. Staring at the shimmering lights of the city, she took his words into consideration. Was she fine?
"I'm fine." She curtly said, even though a part of her knew she clearly wasn't. Her throat was itching for that wine bottle in her fridge to muddle her mind from the overwhelming melancholy in her apartment.
This apartment held a lot of memories she never wanted to recount. Every time she looked at the guest bedroom, she was reminded of a memory she swore was buried at the back of her mind.
Yang Feng frowned at her words. She was fine? Did she think he was stupid? He decided it was a good idea to reach her as soon as possible, for she seemed to be in a very critical stage.
Holding the phone away from him, he quietly urged Hu Wei to drive faster. "Break the speeding limit. I'll deal with the consequences."
Hu Wei was surprised at his order, but nonetheless, followed it like it was the law. Within seconds, he was speeding down the highway, dodging cars, and breaking into the city streets. Like a car racer with a heart of frenzy for speed, he drove the black Maybach to its limit.