MMO: Pierce Heaven Til’ It Breaks

While Li Yi looked for more monsterlings, he gave talking to Scumbag Wang a shot.

“You’re looking for me, Leader Scum?”

“Lil Dark, there’s something I wanna talk to you about. Are you free now?”

Scumbag Wang’s tone was slow and steady, not that different from how he usually talked. The way Li Yi heard it, though, it sounded like a superior talking to a subordinate.

“You’ve been doing pretty well these past few days, performing quite commendably. However, the road ahead is a long one. Lil Dark, you gotta put in some more work. Don’t you go wasting the organization’s efforts on you, now.”

“The organization…? What organization?” Li Yi was utterly befuddled.

“Since you wiped the floor with Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut and her annoying pussies a few days back, my brothers and I talked it over and thought you were a promising young talent. After loads of discussions, we decided that we’d join the Iron Alliance and help you out.”

Li Yi was stunned. “You guys wanna join the Iron Alliance? Who’s gonna let you?”

“Lil Dark, I always thought you were a decently smart guy, so why can’t you see how good this is? Our Huashan Guild is filled with members, and the whole Pantheon Continent shakes when I bring down my foot. And here I am offering to help you! How could you be stupid enough to say no?”

Li Yi was speechless.

“There’s no need to say anything. Lil Dark, you gotta appreciate this rare chance. I believe that as long as we work together, we’ll be able to usher in a new era of unprecedented glory! So are you free now? Hurry up over here and accept us into the Alliance!”

“I’m not available right now…”

Li Yi replied hastily and did not dare to pick up the conversation with Scumbag Wang again.

Accept Huashan into the Iron Alliance? The idea had never once crossed Li Yi’s mind. However, just the thought of those guys joining the Iron Alliance for real, and then spreading their idiocy to the rest of the Alliance…

Stupidity was contagious…

Scumbag Wang messaged him again, but Li Yi did not reply. One must not get too involved with someone like Scumbag Wang. The best way to deal with him was to ignore him.

In the Little Pinewood outside Shattered Frost City, eight hundred Huashan members stood in neat rows with their eyes trained forward on their leader, Scumbag Wang.

“Leader Scum, what did that punk Dark Wing say?” Lonely Perfume asked enthusiastically, raising his hand.

“What else? Of course he was overjoyed. I bet he’s secretly grinning his face off somewhere right now.”

Lonely Perfume asked again, “Then when can we join the Iron Alliance?”

Scumbag Wang grew impatient. “Hey, didn’t you stay with my Third Brother a while ago? Why are you still so dumb?”

“I don’t get it, Leader Scum…

“Joining the Iron Alliance is just a formality. It’s like if you forgot to bring your red scarf to school. Does that mean you’re no longer a Young Pioneer? The truth is, it doesn’t matter if you have your red scarf or not. At the end of the day, you’re still a f*cking Young Pioneer. Once a Young Pioneer, always a Young Pioneer!”

When Scumbag Wang said that, tears welled up in his eyes.

“Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!”

Eight hundred Huashan members clapped in unison, some of them moved to tears. They were a bunch of very passionate people, so they were very easily moved.

“That aside, Perfume, do you understand the stuff I just said? Do you understand?”

“I understand!”

Lonely Perfume gave Scumbag Wang a salute. “Leader Scum, I was a Young Pioneer when I was a kid too.”

“Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!”

The eight hundred Huashan members clapped again. It was only when they saw Scumbag Wang’s expression that their applause died down abruptly.

Scumbag Wang spat. “Joining the Alliance is just a formality. A formality, get it? With or without the red scarf, we are still Young Pioneers. So does it really matter whether we have the Iron Alliance’s acknowledgment or not? We’re still Iron Alliance members!”

Lonely Perfume finally understood. “Leader Scum, does that mean we’re already members of the Iron Alliance even though we haven’t really joined them?”

Scumbag Wang nodded, satisfied. “Looks like your IQ isn’t hopeless.”

Scumbag Wang raised his hand and roared, “Good morning, my brothers!”

The eight hundred Huashan members chorused loudly, “Good morning, Leader Scum!”

“Starting from today, our Huashan have officially joined the Iron Alliance. From now on, our Huashan will no longer be called Huashan. Starting from today, we shall be the Iron Alliance Huashan. I believe that we’ll bring the Iron Alliance to a new era of glory!”

“To glory!”

The eight hundred Huashan members roared in unison.

Scumbag Wang was so passionate that as he raised his hand and yelled the slogan, tears gathered in his eyes once more.

Just then, he remembered Hua Feihua.

Turning back the clock, and returning to that day…

“Damn you, big butt, how dare you lie to me!”

Scumbag Wang raised his kitchen knife at Hua Feihua, but he put it down within less than a second. Instead, he cut off one of his hairs with the knife determinedly and threw it on the ground.

“With this, we’re split!”

…

Li Yi was extremely busy. He farmed and responded to all these summonses at the same time. After all, not long after he ended the conversation with Scumbag Wang, he received a message from Jiaojiao.

“Lil Yi’zi, Sister Cat’s looking for you. Add her as your friend!”

The Sister Cat Jiaojiao mentioned was none other than The Cat that Sings, who had become her close friend after they ran a dungeon together that time.

“You mean the cat that swears?”

“I’m telling you to add her, so just do it. Relax, Sister Cat won’t swear at you.”

“Why should I add her? You gotta give me a reason.”

“You killed her archenemy, so she wants to thank you.”

“Her archenemy…?”

Her archenemy is Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut! Sister Cat said she was playing this game all so she could get her revenge on Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut.”

“Huh?”

Li Yi had no idea that the videos of the two times he killed Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut had been posted on the official forum. The Cat that Sings experienced it personally once, and that was when her opinion of Li Yi changed. That was why when she saw the footage of Li Yi killing Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut again, her admiration of him immediately rose to gratitude.

If one could not kill one’s enemy with one’s own hands, it would still feel great to watch one’s enemy getting tortured. It was the same for the Cat that Sings. She was exhilarated whenever she saw Fluttering Snow Purple Water Chestnut hit a roadblock.

Jiaojiao waited forever, but Li Yi still did not add the Cat that Sings as his friend. Finally, she lost her temper. “Will you add her, or not? If you don’t add her, I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

Jiaojiao enunciated every word. “From now on, I’ll… never… f…”

“I’ll add her!”

Before Jiaojiao could finish that last word, Li Yi agreed quickly and sent The Cat that Sings a friend request, adding her.

Now that they were friends, The Cat that Sings immediately sent him a message. “Brother, you’re just too f*cking OP. To think you shot off that whore’s clothes! Hahahahaha, that felt amazing! But why didn’t you keep on shooting? It’d feel even better if you shot off her bra and underwear.”

“Yeah…”

“That little whore’s always acting all strong, pretending to be OP. Pfft, OP my *ss! She just has a way with her words, she knows how to please people. Gah, she’s so f*cking fake! I hate these kinds of people the most.

“Yeah…”

“I’ve watched that footage of you killing her almost a hundred times now. God, it’s addictive. Brother, if you’re ever gonna kill her again, make sure you tell me first. I want in on the pie.”

“Yeah…”

The Cat that Sings was very excited, but Li Yi’s replies were much frostier. No matter what she said, he would only respond with one word.

“I swore that if anyone could avenge me by f*cking that whore to death, I’d do my best to repay them. Brother, you f*cked her up twice, avenging me twice. This morning, I asked Lil Wang and the others to join your Iron Alliance as a little favor for you. From now on, if you ever need me for anything, I’ll gladly follow you to the ends of the earth and back.”

“Hold on a sec… Did you say you had Scumbag Wang join the Iron Alliance? Lil Wang? As in Scumbag Wang?”

“That’s right. When I told him this morning, he got pretty excited too. At first he refused to budge, but later I told him that your boss agreed to it personally, and he was immediately onboard.”

“Alright then, here’s your first task. The Iron Alliance doesn’t need Scumbag Wang, so you go right there and tell him that I appreciate the offer, but no thanks.”

The Cat that Sings was stunned. “F*ck, why?”

“You came with Lil Jiao, right? Ask her, she’ll tell you.”

Since he was in such a rush to farm monsters, Li Yi made a crucial monsters. He had forgotten that Jiaojiao and The Cat that Sings were very close friends.

The Cat that Sings told Miss Jiao about this, and Miss Jiao shook her head, thinking about it for a long time before she finally nodded. “To be honest, it’s no problem. How ’bout this? I’ll add you to the guild and give you a position. Then you can add Scumbag Wang in yourself.”

“That’s not good, though? From what I heard, Dark Wing isn’t very fond of Lil Wang.”

“Well, I hated him back then too, but aren’t I his girlfriend now?”

Jiaojiao added the Cat that Sings to the guild and then gave her the title of Vice Alliance Leader. With that, she earned the right to add members to the Alliance too.

[Congratulations to the Huashan Guild for joining the Iron Alliance. Let’s all welcome our new friends…]

[Congratulations to the Huashan Guild for joining the Iron Alliance. Let’s all welcome our new friends…]

The system spammed the message on the Alliance Channel, instantly blinding many others.

“F*ck me, Huashan joined our alliance?”

“Which Huashan? Not Scumbag Wang’s, is it?”

“Oh, god…”

“Is the end of the world upon us?”

The Alliance Channel was filled with voices of shock and disbelief.

Everyone on the Invincible Continent knew about the Huashan Guild and Scumbag Wang. Everyone was perfectly aware that this guild was something truly special, in that every member from the leader to the smallest player had proven with their actions, time and again, just what being a retard meant.

“Holy God, does that mean we’ll have to fight alongside Huashan from now on too?”

“I… I’m confused.”

“Heh, I’m speechless.”

Li Yi received the notification stating that the Huashan Guild had joined the Iron Alliance at the very first possible moment too, followed by dozens of private messages from the main Guild Masters in the Alliance.

“Brother, what’s happening?”

“What’s up with Huashan?”

“Why has Huashan joined us…?”

Li Yi was stunned too.

“Lil Chilli!”

He yelled at Jiaojiao, furious.

…