Chapter 47 - 47: Guilty As Charged
"Are you sure you're okay?" Via asked one more time as they sent Serena back to her room.
"Yes, don't worry. Thank you." Serena replied as she smiled at her friends.
"Alright, then good night."
"Serena, we're just here if you need us. We'll go ahead, rest well." Gizel said worriedly while Milly seconded.
Serena nodded at the girls and said, "I'll see you next week."
--
When Serena entered her bedroom, she sprawled herself on her bed. She realized being with the girls earlier at least distracted her mind. Now that she's alone, she can't stop herself from reflecting about her relationship with Charlton.
There was anger and the feeling of betrayal yes, but she also tried to analyze the situation objectively.
First, from the very start, it was her who pursued him in an aggressive manner. Perhaps he thought of her easy and well, as any other playboy, he just took what she offered. Did she really expect him to respect a teenage hormonal girl in this somekind of a 19th century era who was so wanton that she opened her legs for him when he didn't even ask?
Second, it's not like her intention from the very start was pure and innocent. She even thought that he was just good as her first boyfriend and that she'll eventually move on to her next target.
Lastly, she IS engaged to his cousin, what made her think that he will risk everything just to have her? He didn't even do that for the female lead.
So, given these facts, should she still be surprised with what Charlton did? She should have known and understood these things from the very start.
She should just stop whatever they have and well, put everything between them behind. She should just let it go. Tit for tat.
But despite telling herself these things, why does it hurt so much? Her tears kept falling as she clutched her chest with her right hand, as if the action can lessen her heartache.
She was so stupid. How can she let herself fall in love with a teenage boy who was never meant to be hers? She really deserved all these pain because of her own stupidity.
What was she even thinking? Telling herself to bring her fantasies to life and whatnot. She has long understood that this, wherever she is, is not some fantasy drama, but now her reality.
But despite telling herself all these things, she couldn't understand why she still felt this way. That she WANTED to hear his side of the story. That she would want nothing but for him to beg for her forgiveness, and for him to tell her that he loves her. It has only been less than two months, but she feels so strongly for him.
No, she shouldn't feel this way. She must be strong and forget about him.
Serena wanted to bang her head on the wall. What was wrong with her? Why was she so torn for whatever this stupid thing is? Should she just listen to Charlton? But what about her pride?
The whole weekend, Serena holed herself in her room in this state of confusion. Perhaps, her brain was really turned to goo by this love affair she has with Charlton, she had to admit though, his hotness really can melt even the whole of antarctica.
Or maybe because their relationship was still new and still is in its honeymoon phase.
Or perhaps, this transmigration thing really made her head lose some screws.
But at the end of the day, she must be true to herself.
She can't even entertain the thought of him moving on to another girl and forgetting about her.
She WANTS him, always have WANTED him. From the moment she saw him, she already labeled him as HERS.
After the long hours and some days of thinking, she was able to think things through. If she really were to let him go, she will also be the one to suffer. She had to admit to herself that she does love him and besides, she should truly let him explain.
So fine, she is taking him back as long as he grovels, but she still had to make him suffer to teach him a lesson.
--
"Hey, come on. Stop this, this stalking, already. You've been waiting here since the other day. I can't believe you're being this way. Is she even worth it?" Kylo said as he looked at his friend worriedly.
Last Thursday, Kylo had to excuse himself early as he was worried for his friend and felt somewhat guilty. Luckily, on his way back, he saw him standing at the middle of the street. At that time, Charlton looked like a wet puppy abandoned by its master.
Charlton ignored him. What choice does he have? He can't stop thinking about her. When he went back to his dorm last Thursday, he was not able to get a wink of sleep. On Friday, just when the main building was opened at 7am, he went to the private music room directly. Hoping against hope that she would still come. He waited until 7pm, skipping lunch and dinner, just so that he will not accidentally miss her if she were to come. Well, he did not even see her shadow.
Come Saturday, he already lost hope that she will still see him of her own accord, so he stood at the side of the ladies' dormitory, waiting to catch a glimpse of her, and start begging if need be. But she didn't go out the whole day.
He did see her friends and tried to approach them, making him leave his hiding place, but they chose to ignore him. Only Milly gave him an awkward smile. He wanted to ask her about Serena, but her two friends pulled her along. Walking away from him so quickly that he felt like he was some bloke with leprosy.
So here he is again on a Sunday. He's been here before sunrise, and now, the sun is high in the sky indicating that it is already noon.
"Seriously, I think that this is for the best. Your relationship will be going nowhere anyway." Kylo said as he harrumphed.
Charlton who lacks sleep and haven't had any normal meal since Friday felt his adrenaline rush through his veins. Normally, he has a tight grip on his emotions, especially that of anger. But he was already at the limit of his patience.
"Shut up."
"Excuse me?" Kylo was surprised. Charlton has always been polite. In all the years that they have been friends, he rarely heard him curse.
"I said shut up. Just, get out of my sight. I don't want to hear your bullshit."
"Hey, we've been friends for so long, and you're saying that to me just because of some… girl?"
"Kylo, I don't know how you see things. I know that you have always enjoyed playing with women, but that girl you're pertaining to is the woman I love. So, if you have nothing nice to say, and have no intention of helping me, then at least don't make it worse. Leave me be." Charlton said as he tried to calm down.
Kylo felt like his brows were about shoot out of his forehead. Charlton just said those four letter word without even a hint of embarrassment. "Are you serious? Don't you know what that means? Charlton, I knew you had it bad, but I didn't know that you're irredeemable. What about Geoffrey? don't you know that what you're doing is committing a Lese-majeste?"
"He is having an affair himself."
"And so? He is a man."
"Kylo…" Charlton began as he took a deep breath, "I don't need you to give me any advice on what I should or should not be doing. With regards to Geoffrey, I honestly don't know yet. Perhaps, I'll just cross the bridge when I get there. But what I do know right now is that I love her. I can not even for a second entertain the thought of losing her. Do you understand me?"
"Man… I don't know what to say." Kylo replied as he sighed and shook his head. "I admit, I am also at fault. I did do Geoffrey wrong in this matter… I egged you on, even encouraged you. I didn't know that it will lead to this. If I had known… I never would have..."
"No. If I didn't want to, no one could have convinced me otherwise. However, if you truly do feel guilty, then I only ask you one thing."
"What?"
"Don't threaten me by using my relationship with her ever again."
Kylo can only scratch his head and nod. Well, he was guilty as charged.
--
TBC