Mai Kitsune Waifu

As the saying goes, nine losers in ten men, nine masturbaters in ten losers.

Although this black suited uncle cannot be considered a strict loser being a special forces, the country’s elite.

However, he had become the driver and bodyguard of the Murong family right after retirement, he had no time at all to find a girlfriend.

To go to some red light district and fuck a prostitute or something… were stuff that’s even more against the principles of this black suited comrade.

Red light districts were something that he will never set foot upon!

Thus, the black suit could only enjoy the entertainment of Yang Guo without Xiaolongnu all those years.

[TL: Yang Guo is the MC of Return of the Condor Heros, one of the most famous wuxia novel. Xiaolongnu was his wife and master.

You can read translated version here: http://wuxiasociety.com/the-return-of-the-condor-heroes/]

The profound arts of hand stroke.

However, Yang Guo managed to get Xiaolongnu back. That’s why he was very excited and said “As long as I have aunt, so what if I lost my left hand?!”

[TL: If you’ve read the classic, then you know that Yang Guo calls Xiaolongnu aunt… she’s not technically his aunt…]

Alas, the black suited uncle didn’t have even have any wanton female to replace his left hand.

However after having his thigh touched by Liu Yi, a pleasurable sensation that’s even stronger than his profound arts of hand stroke had instantly shot through his whole body.

Had this sensation been from being touched by a woman, then this black suited uncle would have longed for that to begin with.

However it was a man. He was both awkwardly embarrassed and unable to stop himself, he even gave off some forced moans from his mouth.

Soon, all his physical strength was lost.

His legs grew weak.

Liu Yi had used his amorous ripple hand in desperation.

He was unbearably disgusted with having to use this skill on a man.

However… it must be done to save his life!

This fierce and tough black suited uncle came out of nowhere, and he was strong as hell!

And his red stream of qi was exhausted, he certainly cannot win, thus he must escape.

Fortunately the white stream of qi came out as if it was awfully conscientious, not only did it start curing Liu Yi’s injuries, it also began to recover his physical strength.

Immediately after bringing down the black suited uncle with his right hand, Liu Yi immediately turned around and ran like hell. Within seconds, he disappeared without a trace.

The black suited uncle was half kneeling on the ground. Only after breathing in a whole minute worth of air did he manage to calm himself down.

What the heck just happened?....

That kid’s hand had some kind of special power, it actually made me into this kind of damnable appearance!

Could it be that his hand was smeared in some kind of drug?

I’ve heard that in some foreign countries there are these super strong hallucinogenic drugs that could make people instantly become super horny and whatnot….

That youngster’s hand…. did he smeared in it that kind of drug?

He might!

However, how could ordinary student possess such high-tech hallucinogenic drug?!

The black suited uncle began to suspect the identity of the student called ‘Liu Yi’.

This student… was certainly not ordinary!

I must certainly tell master about this so that Miss could quickly transfer her school.

This school was really too dangerous.

Only after calming himself down did the black suited uncle turn around to return to his car. As for all the people lying on the ground, they were none of his concern.

These people, they asked for it.

“Uncle Wang, how come it took you so long?”

Murong Die who was sitting in the car had grown a bit impatient. “What happened? Was Kevin too difficult?”

“That’s...that’s not it…”

The black suited uncle’s face reddened, he said. “Some small issue had delayed me a bit…”

“See, as I have said…”

Murong Die touched Wang Lele’s beautiful hair and said “A regular school student, how could he possibly give uncle Wang a hard time.” Wang Lele had already fallen asleep on Murong Die’s bosom.

“Haha… it’s exactly as Miss said….”

Black suited uncle was sitting on the driver’s seat while wearing his sunglasses. No one noticed that his face was reddened.

“Umm… Miss… is there a student called Liu Yi in your class?”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh?”

Murong Die who was all calm and collected against the car seat suddenly got all panicky, her legs trembled, she almost jolted Wang Lele awake.

Fortunately Wang Lele sleeps like a dead pig.

She smacked her lips a couple of times and then she falls back into her sleep.

Murong Die subconsciously remembered her embarrassing appearance when Liu Yi touched her right hand earlier today…..

Her heart was in a chaos!

“Uncle… uncle Wang…. why did you suddenly ask about Liu Yi?”

Murong Die was even stuttering her words a bit.

“It’s… it’s nothing….”

The black suited uncle was also deeply ashamed himself.

“I was only a bit curious because I heard about Liu Yi from that Kevin kid… Miss, how’s your relationship with Liu Yi? Do you know him well?”

Murong Die once again remembered the moment when their hands met, her face immediately turned red, she covered her face and said.

“No...not at all!”

Murong Die quickly started to shake her head. “I’ve never even talked to him…”

“Oh… so that’s the case… let’s return home then….”

Only then did the black suited uncle started driving unhurriedly.

This thing… I must certainly report it to the master.

“Whirr….”

As if escaping for his life, Liu Yi ran all the way home in a single breath. His hands were trembling when he try to open the door with his keys.

“Good for nothing! Look how afraid you have become!”

Lin Tong was incessantly mocking Liu Yi.

“It’s… it’s not like you were the one fighting….”

Liu Yi disliked Lin Tong’s sneer.

While trembling, Liu Yi finally managed to open the door to the house. He encountered his mother who was all dressed and ready to go out, it seems like she’s going to have to do a night shift at the hospital again.

“Liu Yi, how come you come back this late? I’ve left your food on the kitchen table, remember to heat them up before eating when you’re hungry….”

Liu Yi’s mother head was down as she was putting on her shoes. She did not notice the wretched appearance of her son.

Liu Yi took a deep sigh of relief, he felt very fortunate.

He kicked off his shoes and immediately ran into his room in a flash.

“Aiyah! This child, how could you just throw your shoes all over the place! Remember to eat your dinner!”

Liu Yi’s mom left a few words and exited the house, she had to leave immediately for work.

Liu Yi took off his bloodied school uniform and threw it to the ground and threw himself on his bed, he was breathing real hard.

All the things that happened today… was like a dream!

From meeting that fox demon and getting killed last night...

Till fighting that super strong black suited uncle earlier….

All of this… was something that should not have appeared in Liu Yi’s life!

All of this… what exactly had Liu Yi done...

All of this… was not a dream right?...

Liu Yi pinched his cheeks real hard, immediately he felt the pain.

This really wasn’t a dream!

“Idiot!”

Said the little fox lazily while lying atop Liu Yi’s chest.

“Aiyah! So annoying! Why did I encounter a huge idiot like you?...”

“You have the nerve to speak…”

Liu Yi was lying on his bed. He wanted to go clean his bloodied school uniform.

However, he was currently in immense muscle aches and doesn’t even have the strength to get up from the bed.

Earlier, he had an adrenaline rush as he ran back home, however, now that he’s home on his bed, his entire body had collapsed.

The Liu Yi right now felt like he was dying.

His heart was beating extremely fast, he had a strong desire to pass out.

This sensation…. was really fucking difficult to beat...

“Didn’t you say that… that I… I will become very strong after cultivating?....”

Even speaking was difficult for Liu Yi. Only through taking a couple breathes did he manage to ask Lin Tong stammering.

“Why… why do... do I felt.. like I’m taking a medicine?...all tired and without any strength….”

“That’s because you do not know the correct method of using your powers.”

The little fox was lying on Liu Yi’s chest. Her tail moved across his face a couple of times. She said. “You’re like a child waving around a metal hammer, even if you managed to injure others, you’ll injure yourself first!”

“You… you didn’t… didn’t teach me how…”

After lying on the bed for a while, the red and white streams of qi within his body had slightly recovered making him feel a lot better.

“Dumbass! Did you think this was like buying grocery at the supermarket where you just have to pay the money?!”

Lin Tong pouted. “Furthermore, your first star jade was only just opened, what you ought to do is to gather more immortal strength! No one told you to stir up troubles in the school and ended up having people try beating you up at night!”

“Hey hey hey!....”

Liu Yi was sweating cold bullets all over. “Wasn’t it you who urged me to fight?!....”

“Cough cough, the shy looks beautiful tonight!”

Said Lin Tong as she looked out the window. Her tail was wagging.

“Then you…. should be able to teach me how to control it now right?...”

Asked Liu Yi.

“Yep!”

The little fox flew up and was floating midair. She then seriously asked.

“Liu Yi, there are four major branches to immortal cultivation, each of them complicated and formidable. I need you to select one of them to practice, you must consider it carefully before replying.”

“This important?”

This was the first time Liu Yi had seen the little fox Lin Tong so serious.

“Your choice will bear upon throughout your life, once you made your choice, you cannot change it anymore and will have to be faithful to your choice until death. If you don’t follow through the choice you picked, you’ll fail the immortal cultivation real badly!”

“Okay… what are the four branches?...”

“The four major branches are Martial, Daoism, Spiritual, and Instrumental. The Martial branch was further separated into Body Cultivation and Sword Cultivation. The Daoism branch was further separated into the Five Phases Cultivation, or magic using the five phases. You could pick either one of the five and cultivate that. Then there’s the Spiritual branch, it’s separated into the Beast Cultivation and the Five Phases Cultivation. Beast Cultivation allows you to summon spiritual beasts, Five Phases Cultivation allows you to summon creatures of the five phases…. Finally, there’s the Instrumental branch. The Instrumental branch could be said to be divided into tens of millions of different sub branches, it could also be said to have no sub branch at all because Instrumental branch is the cultivation of your instrument, allowing you to combine with your instrument. The way of the Instrumental branch is a lot different from all the other three, even if you want to learn that, I am unable to teach you the way of the Instrumental branch."

[TL: Five phases = wood, fire, earth, metal and water.]

“Instrument cultivation…. and I thought it was qi cultivation….”

[TL: Instrument and qi are both pronounced qi.]

Liu Yi originally thought to himself that how could there possibly be an New Oriental Qi Cultivation School amongst immortal cultivation…

[TL: No idea what New Oriental Qi Cultivation School (新东方汽修学) is…]

“Stop fooling around! This is a very important matter!”

The little fox jumped onto Liu Yi’s head. She swept her tail across Liu Yi’s nose causing Liu Yi wanting to sneeze.

“You must take this matter seriously! Quick, pick one of them. Only after you picked a method would I be possible to teach you the correct method of using your demon… immortal energy!

“Ah! So difficult!”

Liu Yi felt that this was exactly like how it is when he pick his occupations in games, extremely difficult!

Martial branch and the body cultivation sounds pretty good… at least you’ll be strong in battles! There’s also Sword cultivation within the Martial branch, it ought to be something like being able to fly on your sword at the latter stages of that cultivation! How freaking elegant!

Daoism branch sounds pretty good too…. if there’s anyone that I dislike, a fireball in my left hand and an ice bolt in my right hand, hehe… the appearance of a legendary mage was projecting in Liu Yi’s mind.

Spiritual branch sounds very good too… summon minions to fight… I could just sit back and watch!

Fuck! Such a difficult decision! Which one should I choose?!