Chapter 607
He ran across the long corridor. The people that looked at him with weird gazes became distant behind his back. The sounds that mourned for the dead faded away and he entered a space without any sound. Now, he was no longer in the corridor of the funeral hall. He ran recklessly through the now long tunnel that was made of concrete. In front of him was the rabbit, which seemed like the symbol of hope. He felt like he would fall into the depths of this nightmare if he missed it, so he followed the rabbit like his life depended on it. The distance between him and the rabbit seemed like it would shrink, but it did not. The rabbit turned around from time to time and nodded as though it was checking that Maru was following him properly.
After running for god knows how long and just as he felt the limitations of his stamina, the rabbit in front of him disappeared. Maru looked around him. Where was this place? For now, there was nothing he could see around him. Even light didn’t exist, so he couldn’t make out his arms. The sudden blackout was enough to paralyze his reason. All of his thought processes stopped in an instant, and just as he felt afraid due to the loss of direction, he heard the sound of heartbeats. Only then did he realize that there was no sound around him either. Instead, the sounds coming from inside the body became so loud. He could even hear his stomach vigorously churning. Thinking that this was the perfect environment to faint, he tried to regain his calm as much as possible, but the sounds of physical metabolism inside his body kept eroding away his reason. When he lost his hearing, his minimal sense of position, which relied on his sight, disappeared as well. Feeling that his body was leaning towards the back for some reason, Maru laid on the ground. If this was a torture room, Maru wanted to give the designer of this room the Nobel prize for torture.
He didn’t know how long he spent lying down like that when he started to feel a warmth that he had been longing for. It was the warmth of a person. He smelled the fragrance of a person. Maru slowly opened his eyes.
“What is it? Did you have a dream?”
She - Gaeul - was lying next to him. Gaeul, who was wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt, sat up before turning on the light next to the bed. Maru touched his face with his right hand. His face was drenched as though he had been through a rainstorm.
“Look at all that sweat. Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Wait a moment. Drink some warm water.”
Maru strongly hugged her, who was about to turn around and stand up.
“Mr. Han Maru, don’t act like a kid.”
“Just a moment, let me stay like this for just a moment.”
“Honey, what is up with you? Did something happen?”
“No, it’s not like that. I just had a terrible dream.”
“Dream? What dream?”
She stroked his face with her hands. Aah - Maru felt a deep sense of relief. He felt like his two legs finally landed in reality. The nostalgic smell of the duvet, the faint shampoo fragrance, and the 5,000 won clock he bought at a discount store couldn’t be more welcome to him.
“Do you feel a bit calmer now?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Then why don’t you let me go already?”
She smiled mischievously and shook off his hands.
“I’ll get some water and aspirin for you. It looks like you’ve been pushing yourself too much recently. Wait a sec.”
Light entered through the opening of the door. Maru looked at her, who was rummaging through the cupboard in the kitchen as she put her hair behind her ears. A dream, yes, it was a dream. Maru looked down at his hands before clenching them. There was a sharp pain from his palms.
“Did I finally wake up?”
He pinched his cheeks as well just in case. It hurt. For some reason, he couldn’t help but smile.
“Here, say ah.”
Maru opened his mouth. She put some medicine inside his mouth. He accepted the cup of water she gave him and drank the lukewarm water. He felt a lot clearer after the water entered his body.
“Are you not feeling well?”
“No, I’m okay now.”
Maru grabbed her hands.
“Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine. I just had… a cruel dream.”
“A cruel dream? If you put it like that, it makes me want to know what it was about.”
She made a devious smile. She climbed onto the bed and leaned her head against his shoulder. Maru lightly hugged her with his right arm.
“I died, and then.”
“That’s a bad start.”
“I told you it was a cruel dream. Anyway, I died, and I went back to my high school days with the god’s help.”
“That sounds good. What happened after that?”
“I tried my best to live. Oh, and I found you as well.”
“Back when we were in high school? Dang, you should’ve let me meet some other boys too.”
“Should I have done that?”
She shrugged.
“Just from that, it doesn’t sound like a nightmare to me. Or, don't tell me, was meeting me that cruel of an event for you?”
“When I think about it now, I think it might have been.”
“You’re looking for a beating.”
She slapped his back endlessly. Maru twisted his body to avoid her hands. He wondered why he felt so thankful about quarreling with her like this.
“So, after that….”
“Nah, don’t say it. It was a bad dream, wasn’t it? You should forget about things like that as soon as possible.”
“Is that how it is?”
She nodded.
“Get some sleep. You should sleep early if you want to wake up early tomorrow.”
“Yes, I should.”
“Should I sing a lullaby?”
He lay down again with his head on the pillow. Next to him, she started humming a song. He felt relaxed as though the nightmare didn’t exist at all. He thought that if he woke up tomorrow, he would start another ordinary day.
Just as he closed his eyes, feeling the warmth from her body,
‘Wake up tomorrow?’
Maru moved his hand and grabbed her wrist. He sighed as he made out the outline of the thin wrist. From one moment onwards, the sensation of her skin had disappeared from his palm.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked around him. He was in a place with a lot of empty chairs. He looked forward. He saw a stage that was sunken in darkness.
Tap tap - the sounds of a shoe rang across from the center of the stage. Eventually, the white pin light shone on the center of the stage.
“Was the play fun?”
At the center of the stage was a masked man. Maru knew who that man was. He was the man he had seen several times in his dreams. The man, wearing a mask that was colored in black and white, walked around the stage with quick steps. It started raining on stage, and the masked man took out an umbrella from nowhere. The song 'Singing in the Rain’ faintly started flowing out in the theater. Maru watched as the man tap-danced on the stage according to the rhythm for a while before jumping onto the stage. He then grabbed the collars of the man doing the musical right in front of him.
“What do you want from me? Just what the hell do you want from me!”
“Nothing. I told you. It’s your choice, but the choices will be given by me.”
Maru intensely glared at the man who shook his hands off. He could no longer tell what was a dream and what was reality; whether he truly went back in time or not. He couldn’t even tell if he was still dreaming right now.
“Was the play fun?”
“Get me out of this place now. Make me wake up from this goddamned dream.”
“I’m sorry to tell you this, but that’s not something I can do. That’s because I’m an incompetent creature who can only do things like this.”
The man started tap-dancing again. He threw away his umbrella and started running across the stage while getting hit by the rain. Although it was only for a brief moment, Maru felt that the man’s movements felt sad. He soon came to himself and chased the man before grabbing him.
“I’m against violence.”
“It wasn’t your doing?”
“I can only live on this small stage that you provided for me. I’m a puny existence. I only know what you know.”
“Then what the hell is up with all these dreams! Is this the damned god trying to screw with me? Or did I finally go crazy and start hallucinating?”
“No, you didn’t go crazy. You are talking to me properly like this. However, this won’t last that long either. Don’t worry. You’ll wake up soon. Probably.”
“How do you know that when you said you don’t know anything?”
“Because I know a few things. I humbly said that I was incompetent, but I’m not that incompetent.”
“Didn’t you say you are giving me the choices? That sounds like you have some power.”
“That’s only a play on words.”
“Tell me properly. What the hell are you?”
The masked man took a step back before taking something out of his pocket. It was a long object - a necktie. The masked man wore the blue necktie around his neck and tied it in a proficient manner.
At that moment, Maru was reminded of the tarot card. The clown wearing a tie on a stage. It was the same as the man in front of him.
“What is it that you want to say?”
“Was the play fun?”
“Why do you keep asking me that question?”
“Because that’s the only thing I have to ask. I can only live on this small stage, and I’m a pitiful creature who can only breathe when you are consumed by the monster known as acting.”
“If you want to bullshit like that, you better do it after taking your mask off. If I hit you while you still have it on, it might hurt more.”
Maru violently reached out and grabbed the mask. The masked man did not resist at all. He put his hands behind his back and even leaned forward as though he was telling Maru to take it off.
“It’s quite embarrassing to meet you like this. Even though it’s about time I get used to it.”
Hearing the man’s voice, Maru pulled on the mask. Snap - he heard the string that tied the mask to the man’s face snapping off before the mask fell off his face.
“....”
Maru couldn’t say anything. He looked at the man, who was smiling in embarrassment before taking a step back.
“I really can’t get used to this.”
“You are….”
“You make the decision. I will give you the choices. Do you finally understand what I mean now?”
Maru started making out the facial features of the man in front of him with shaky eyes.
The exact same face appeared opposite him as though he was looking at a mirror.
“Should I introduce myself properly? My surname is Han from the Yangjeolgong faction[1] and my name is Maru, as enforced by mother’s strong request to not use the same characters for siblings[2]. Because of the reason that pure Korean names[3] sound pretty, my younger sister was named Bada. Anyways, it’s good that my name is not Haneul[4]. Maru is much better than Haneul, don’t you think so?”
The man reached out his hand and smiled. Maru stared at that hand before looking into the man’s eyes. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see any speech bubble that reflected the man’s thoughts.
“I am you, and you are me, so you don’t need to mind things like that. You don’t usually use it, right? Against an enemy, it might come in handy, but you don’t use it that often on the people around you. That’s because looking into what someone else is thinking is very uncomfortable. You know that better than anyone else.”
“What are you? Is this the god’s prank as well?”
“Well, I’m not sure either. What I know is that I’ve been acting on this stage for a very long time now. But I’m still happy to see guests from time to time. Though, it does feel strange that I myself am the guest.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Want?”
The man smiled before speaking,
“Can you take me out of this boring place?”
“What?”
After saying those words, the man shrugged before putting on the mask again.
“This is much easier for the both of us, right? It’s not like we’re doppelgängers. Talking to yourself is the same as talking on your own.”
At that moment, the rabbit from before appeared through the slit of the stage curtains.
“It’s here again.”
The rabbit hopped its way over before climbing onto the man’s shoulder and rubbing against his cheek. At that moment, Maru could hear a girl’s voice. I’m sorry, I’m sorry - the desperate voice echoed on the stage for a while before disappearing.
“So it’s about time to leave. I hope this is the end, but it won’t be, right? Let’s meet again, in your heart, that is. Also, set me free for a while. That’s my only form of leisure.”
The rabbit climbed down from the man’s shoulder and hopped off the stage.
“What are you doing? Go,” the man said as he pointed at the rabbit.
At that moment, Maru saw that the man was crying through the holes of the mask.
“She’s a lovely woman. So….”
The moment the man’s words flowed out of his mouth, Maru felt his body float into the air. He focused on the man with all of his strength. He felt like he needed to hear the words that would come after this.
His body slowly became distant from the stage, and the man as well. The side curtains slowly closed and just before the man disappeared, the man took off his mask and threw it away as he shouted.
Don’t hate her too much.
That was what the man said.
[1] Think of this as a certain lineage.
[2] In Korea, there’s a tendency to use one same character for siblings (or even across cousins). For example, “Gayoung” and “Nayoung” would share the same character for “young”. It can be the first character/syllable of the name as well, for example, “Jaehoon” and “Jaehyun” would share the same first character (Jae). In this case, “Maru” and “Bada” clearly do not share the same character.
[3] Pure Korean names = cannot be written in Hanja.
[4] Again with naming tendencies, ‘Haneul’ means sky while ‘Bada’ means sea, which would be a common pair of names for siblings. The ‘clown’ is saying that ‘Maru’, which is also commonly known to refer to the ‘sky’ (though, proper online sources say it does not), is a better name than ‘Haneul’.