Life, Once Again!

She wanted to die - Yuna raised her head before sighing. Maru was wiping his clothes with some tissue. The tears from heroines crying in movies looked pretty like flower petals, but hers were far from it and in fact, were rather ugly instead. The moment she saw that other forms of secretions(?) were on Maru’s clothes, Yuna wanted to run into the window of the book café.

‘But that’s still okay.’

There was an even bigger problem. Yuna barely managed to turn around and looked at some girls in the corner of the café. They were students that entered while she was crying, and unfortunately for her, they were her classmates. The classmate that sat next to her and told her about this place was also among them. They walked past while she was busy crying, so they should have seen everything. Her head turned blank when she realized that her friends had seen her crying in Maru-seonbae’s arms.

“Are you feeling okay now?”

“Ah, yes.”

Yuna looked at Maru before taking a slight glance at her friends sitting behind her. They were chuckling and whispering among themselves. She felt even more gloomy because she was close to them.

‘I don’t want to go to school anymore.’

She vowed to never cry again. When she cried, she felt like she was liberated from something incomprehensible, but the embarrassment that came afterwards made her feel heavy as though there was a lump of lead inside her.

“Sorry, seonbae. I really wasn’t planning to do that.”

“Sometimes in life, you just can’t hold yourself back. I understand what it’s like.”

“I’ll wash your clothes and give them ba….”

“This is the only thing I’m wearing though?”

“Like I said, I’ll get them washed an… no. Oh, it’s nothing!”

She was so flustered that she did not realize what she was even saying. He would be half-naked if he took off his t-shirt. Yuna violently shook her head.

“If you’re calm now, let’s go home. While I don’t really mind that much, you look like your face is going to burst at any moment. Bitna, wait for just a bit longer, you’re going to go home soon.”

Maru reached out and patted Bitna’s head and stroked her hair. She didn’t realize since she was so flustered, but Bitna was dozing off. The sleepiness she had been holding back since coming to the café seemed uncontrollable now.

As she stroked Bitna’s cheeks and told her to sleep, she heard a noise from her bag. She took out her phone, which was vibrating, and received a call from her mother.

“Mom.”

-Bitna’s next to you, right?

“Yes, she is.”

-I suddenly got some work, and I think I’ll need to bring Bitna to Seoul for a bit. Where are you right now? I’ll be there immediately.

“We are at the book café near the school.”

Her mother seemed to know about this place as well and hung up after saying okay.

“I didn’t intend to eavesdrop, but is your mother coming to pick up Bitna?”

“Yes. She should probably be here in less than 15 minutes.”

“That’s good. I’ll get going first.”

“You’re going?”

“If you want, I can stay and say hello, but are you okay with that?”

Maru smiled and scanned her from top to bottom. Yuna came to herself and told him to go first.

“You should wash your face a little. Also, your makeup is a bit smudged. Though, it doesn’t look terrible.”

“...Okay.”

Only then did she remember that she wore faint makeup around her eyes. She carefully looked at Maru’s shirt. There was a faint trace of black around the part that was wet with her tears.

“Sorry.”

“You should get yourself together if you have the time to apologize. Also, don’t make your mother worried.”

“Okay.”

“How do you feel now? A bit refreshed?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

“I’m sure that’s the case. If you keep leaving behind that vagueness in your heart though, you’ll definitely end up regretting it sooner or later. It’s a painful thing to dig deeper into your worries, but I feel like this is the right time for that. Think carefully about what made you say that you are fed up with acting, and once you come to a conclusion yourself, you should be able to improve your acting a lot. I believe that you will.”

Maru patted her shoulder. Yuna sighed silently. They were words of encouragement, but she couldn’t smile when she saw the stains on his t-shirt. She wanted to find a hole to hide in when she thought that she caused a massive inconvenience to a boy she had never met before.

“I’m leaving then. Thanks for telling me about this good place.”

Maru faintly smiled and left the café.

Yuna stood still and watched him as he left. The door swung past the entrance and the bell that was hung on the door rang. At that moment, Yuna subconsciously started walking. She pushed against the door that was still swaying. A loud bell noise pierced her ears. She grabbed the banisters on the stairs and looked down. She saw Maru walking downstairs while checking his watch.

“S-seonbae-nim!”

Maru wordlessly looked at her. Yuna shouted at him.

“Next time, contact me next time!”

As she was driven by emotions, she blurted out her thoughts without thinking.

“I mean! Can I contact you next time? As an apology, I’ll….”

“As long as you don’t cry, I’m okay with it.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Take good care of Bitna and I hope you can get your emotions together.”

Maru waved at her from the bottom of the staircase. Yuna waved back. Maru then disappeared from her sight along with the low sound of his footsteps. Her hands holding the banisters lost energy. At the same time, she lost power in her legs as well. She sat down on the spot and blankly stared at the wall. The events that happened during the past dozen seconds flashed past her mind.

“C-c-contact him ne-next time!?”

Yuna banged her head against the wall. She wanted to fly to somewhere unknown right now. Why did she do that? What she should’ve said was goodbye, but why did she say that she wanted to meet him again? It had to be that her embarrassment had caused her brain to malfunction. See Maru-seonbae a second time? That was just crazy.

She barely got a hold of herself and stood up. When she went back into the café, she could feel other people looking at her. Well, it wasn’t surprising since she cried the heck out.

Bitna had fallen asleep at the table. She wanted to wake Bitna up and leave, but she couldn’t after seeing that her sister was sleeping so soundly. Truth be told, it was Bitna who had it the hardest today. After all, she created this opportunity for her big sister and stayed with them until she tired herself out to sleep.

“Unni will buy you something nice later.”

This girl was totally an angel. As she was looking at Bitna,

“Ohmigosh, what was that? Yuna, what was that just now?”

“Boyfriend? That was your boyfriend right? Why did you cry? Did that fucker two-time you? Is that what it is?”

“If he two-timed you, you should kill him!”

She had forgotten. Her friends all came up to her and demanded an explanation with all sorts of expressions on their faces. The friend that sat next to her in class even grabbed her hands worriedly.

“It’s not like that. He’s not my boyfriend either.”

“Really? I’d be sad if you’re lying to us.”

“I’m not. I saw him for the first time today. He’s a seonbae I really appreciate.”

“You appreciate him even though it’s your first time seeing him? Then why did you cry?”

“That’s… a bit complicated.”

“What was it? What was it?”

Her friends changed their expressions. They asked her questions with bright smiles on their faces. Just then, Bitna moved a little. Yuna pressed her index finger against her lips and switched places.

“Tell us quickly. So first, who is he?”

“...A seonbae I got to know.”

“Oh, my. Look at you, girlie. A seonbae you got to know? That sounds suspicious.”

“I said it’s not like that.”

“Then why did you cry? We were really surprised, you know? I thought he did something wrong to you. I almost went up to him and was about to ask what he was doing to you. When I had a closer look though, he was consoling you. You two looked like lovers.”

“What lovers! I’m not in that kind of a relationship with him. He just listened to my story.”

“What story?”

“...About acting.”

“Does he belong to our school’s acting club? Why is he not wearing a uniform?”

“He goes to a different school.”

“Really? That sounds suspicious.”

“There’s nothing to be suspicious about.”

She didn’t realize that explaining would be this hard and felt her energy draining away from her. However, these girls were sure to start rumors if she didn’t explain properly now, and that might affect Maru in a bad way, so she had to set things straight now.

Yuna took a deep breath and explained to them what happened. They were good girls, so they wouldn’t start rumors as long as she told them honestly what happened and asked them not to.

“So while you were talking, you suddenly had the urge to cry and jumped into his arms?”

“...Yeah.”

“So you like him then.”

“It’s not like that. I feel really sorry for him right now, and I would be really embarrassed to see him again.”

Just thinking about Maru’s face made her face turn hot. It wasn’t because she liked him, but because she felt apologetic and embarrassed. After looking at Yuna’s face, her friends eventually nodded and said,

“Well, I guess even I would be creeped out if a girl I’ve never seen before suddenly cries the heck out in front of me.”

“Yuna has a pretty face so he shouldn’t be totally creeped out.”

“But hey, I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before.”

“You too? I thought the same. I feel like I’ve seen him.”

“He looked pretty decent.”

“I don’t like his sharp eyes. He looks scary.”

They started evaluating him for some reason. Yuna waved her hand and stood up.

“Anyway, he’s a good person, and is not anyone strange, so don’t let your imaginations run wild.”

“Alright, girlie. And here I was thinking that you ran into trouble while dating in secret.”

“It really isn’t like that….”

“You know that you’re kinda suspicious for denying it so strongly, right? Maybe you’ve taken a liking to him? I mean, isn’t it plausible? Someone you’ve never seen before gave you consultation and even lent you his shoulder. I think he has good manners.”

Her friends grinned in an evil fashion.

“Do you really not feel anything towards him?”

“I don’t. It’s the first time I saw him today, so there’s no way such a thing would happen. I just… found him amazing.”

“You said he’s someone doing acting, right?”

Yuna slightly turned around and said yes. Even though she found it unfortunate that no one recognized Maru until they came to the café, she kinda wished no one would recognize him right now, for some reason.

‘He’s a celebrity after all.’

Just as she made an answer for herself and accepted it,

“Yuna.”

She turned her head around when she heard the voice from the entrance. Her mother was waving at her with a smile. She felt better now. Since her mother was here, her friends wouldn’t be able to nag her anymore.

Her friends ran up to her and greeted her. Her mother returned their greetings before looking for Bitna.

“She’s asleep right now. I’ll go get her.”

She carefully picked up Bitna, who was sleeping at the table and passed her to her mother.

“Are you going to be late?”

“Probably. Mom will give you some money so you should go eat out with your friends.”

“Okay.”

“But Yuna.”

“Yes?”

“Did you cry?”

She forgot to wash her face. As she was at a loss what to say, her friends came in.

“We asked her to show us some tear jerking action. Yuna’s really good at acting, so she ended up crying.”

The girl that sat next to her in class stepped up.

“You should redo your makeup around your eyes. It’s smudged. Yuna, your mother has to get going, so have fun with your friends.”

“Okay mom. Have a safe trip.”

“Okay.”

Yuna sighed and turned around.

“I saved you this time.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Yuna smiled and looked at her friend, who managed to get her through this situation.

“But do you really not have any interest in him at all?”

She retracted her thanks.

Yuna pouted.