Life, Once Again!

After Story 78

“Could you turn around for a second?”

Seungah turned around at the judge’s request.

“Okay, that’s good.”

She looked toward the front again. She was relieved for now because she wasn’t interrupted while acting. She had displayed everything she had prepared, so she could look forward to the result.

“I see you’ve done a drama already.”

“Yes. I’ve experienced many things through it.”

“It’s a named role, so you must have had lines as well.”

“The character appeared for only a few episodes, but I did have lines.”

“I see. What’s important is that you’ve done it. Let me ask one final thing: Do you think you can smoke deliciously?”

“I’ve never smoked, but I am confident I can do so.”

“Okay. Thank you for coming today.”

Seungah bowed to the judges and left the room. A deep breath escaped her.

“Unni,” Dawoon came over. Now that she thought about it, Dawoon’s turn was next.

“Don’t be nervous and do your best.”

“How did you do?”

“So-so.”

Seungah gave Dawoon a pat along with some words of encouragement.

Dawoon took a deep breath and opened the door to the audition room.

“Good luck,” she said to the closing door in a small voice, hoping that Dawoon would not make a mistake and could finish the audition smoothly.

* * *

She finished the act she had prepared. She did not make a mistake, nor did she feel awkward doing it. Dawoon looked at the judges after calming down her senses that were on the edge.

The eyes of the judges all turned around from looking at the monitor.

Sensing the eyes on her, her calmed heart started thumping again.

“Does the image overlap a little?” said the man on the far right in a whispering fashion. Normally, she wouldn’t hear a voice that small, but maybe because of her heightened senses, she could hear it clearly.

She saw director Song Daejin fall into thought after hearing the man’s words. He was the only one she knew out of the four judges here. He was a famous director, so the actors participating in the audition today probably all knew him.

“Miso’s eyes are good alright,” said the director. “You’re learning acting with Miss Seungah, aren’t you? Under Miso, I mean.”

Dawoon replied yes to the director’s question.

“First of all, well done. You looked good on screen too.”

The director locked his hand and flicked his index finger before turning quiet. He seemed to have something to say. Dawoon looked at the director nervously. The words ‘image overlap’ which she just heard echoed in her ears.

“Thank you for coming,” the director said as he unlocked his hands. Dawoon said that she had prepared something else. She felt like she couldn’t leave like this.

“It’s okay. We’ve seen enough.”

“Yes.”

She couldn’t be stubborn. Dawoon bowed politely and turned around. When she opened the door and left, she saw Seungah standing at the end of the corridor.

Just as she was about to call, ‘unni’, she heard the judges chat among themselves. She grabbed the closing door softly and looked between the cracks. The four judges were looking at the screen. They were watching Seungah and her footage alternately.

Dawoon closed the door with her breath abated. Her eyes hurt as though they were being scorched.

She clenched her eyes shut before opening them again. The words ‘image overlap’ tickled her eardrums again.

What would have happened if they didn’t overlap? Were they discussing who among the two was suitable for one role? If only one of them could make it, who would take it?

Suddenly, Seungah, who was standing at the end of the corridor, felt distant. It felt hard to approach her, and she did not want to see her.

She recalled what happened during the day of the first snow. The profiles she stuffed in her bag that day, the convenience store from which she bought the trash bags, and the sparse neighborhood where she had thrown away the pile of profiles flashed in front of her eyes in series.

If she threw away unni’s profile from that profile pile….

She shook her head. That was a terrible thought. She loathed herself for thinking about such a thing even for one second.

“Dawoon,” Seungah called from the end of the corridor. Dawoon threw away her thoughts and approached Seungah.

She’s a good unni, don’t think like that.

She told herself such, but even at that moment, she heard a familiar voice: What if she threw it away?

* * *

“We’re gonna be together until the end. Let’s have a look. Right! The store’s name is Hanjoo Chicken Feet, right? Then we’re Hanjoo Chicken Feet gathering. People who belong to this group are not allowed to give up on acting and have to stay as actors until the end. Okay? We’ll help and encourage each other.”

Seungah put down her glass and created a group chat on the spot. The name of the group chat was ‘Hanjoo Chicken Feet Actors Association.’ The group became an association, even though there were just three of them.

“I get how much you can drink, so you can stop drinking now.”

Maru put away the glass that was in front of Seungah. If she drank anymore, he might have to deal with a living corpse.

“Dawoon, are you okay?”

“Yes, oppa. I’m okay.”

She said she was okay, but she didn’t look the part. A girl who looked like a squirrel was stuffing her mouth with side dishes like a squirrel. She seemed to be getting ready to hibernate as she piled some food in front of her.

One side was uttering nonsense, while the other was stuffing her mouth without end. Still, it was good that their drunk habits were not that troublesome.

“Let’s stand up for now. You two must be tired so get some rest.”

He left with the two women who said that they were fine and could drink more.

“I’ll get something to drink.” Seungah shook her head and walked to a nearby convenience store.

Maru offered to go with her, but Seungah waved her hand in denial.

Maru looked at Seungah walking precariously on top of the slippery road and spoke, “I think you should take care of her on the way home. She looks pretty drunk.”

“I will,” Dawoon said with a chuckle.

“Oppa, I’m a really bad girl, aren’t I?”

“What do you mean?”

He stared at her when she suddenly said something without context. Dawoon was staring at Seungah, who had just gone inside the convenience store, her gaze complex. Just as Maru was starting to get worried that she was badly drunk too…

“I really wish both of us did well, or both of us did badly. But just one of us doing well, and not only that, the one being unni….”

Dawoon whispered that before flinching and closing her mouth. She looked like she just said something she should not say. He did not ask what she meant by what she said. If she had something she wanted to hide, then he would let her do so. That was how everyone lived after all.

“Auditions are hard. It’s especially the case when there are many people you know in the audition.”

He no longer commented after that.

At that moment, Seungah had returned. In her hands were three banana milks.

“If you drink banana milk before you vomit, your vomit will taste like banana milk.” Seungah smiled, handing them the banana milk. That was some incredible preparation on her part.

So she was planning on vomiting. He took two steps away from her. He couldn’t stand pigeon food[1] splattering onto his clothes.

“Hey, why are you getting away from me?”

“It’s human instinct for survival. If you feel sick, then you should throw up before getting onto the taxi instead of making the driver suffer.”

“That’s why I bought the milk. But hey, I really do feel sick.”

Seungah burped as she closed her eyes.

Maru took two more steps away. To him, she looked more dangerous than explosives.

“Oppa, you said you live in Suwon, right? You should go ahead. I’ll take unni home.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“I am.”

Seungah, who was listening, jumped in, “Hey, Han Maru! You aren’t petty enough to run after just the first round, are you? We should go for a 2nd round. And go singing and bowling too.”

“You go by yourself. Stop causing trouble for the little sister next to you.”

“Dawoon said we should go too. Didn’t you, Dawoon?”

He looked at Dawoon. Her expression looked different from when they were drinking. It seemed that what she said to herself kept tugging on her mind. It was probably because of that, that she suggested for Maru go home first.

“I’ll get going now.”

“Hey, Han Maru! You’re so petty.”

“The weather’s cold. Stop fooling around and go home and sleep. Dawoon, you should be careful on your way home too.”

He waved his hand and was about to go home when Dawoon stopped him.

She didn’t call him ‘oppa’ like before, but just with an ‘uhm’ in hurry.

Dawoon hesitated and didn’t say anything in the end. Only when Seungah looked at her strangely did she speak,

“Watch out on your way home.”

“Yeah, you too.”

* * *

He must have heard it. The alcohol in her was talking, but she came to herself and quickly stopped talking, but she had already said those doubtful words. Dawoon held up the staggering Seungah and looked behind. Maru was becoming distant.

“Dawoon.”

“Huh?”

“What was that just now?”

“What?”

“You looked like you had something to say to Maru.”

“No, it’s nothing.”

“Really?”

Seungah narrowed her eyes.

She felt nervous. She felt like Seungah had seen her inner heart that she could never afford to have others find out.

Just then, Seungah took out her phone. It seemed that she had gotten a message. Dawoon looked behind again. She was worried that Maru, who she could no longer see, might have sent something strange to her. Or could he have sent something unnecessary to her?

“Dawoon.” Seungah’s voice had become a level deeper.

Her heart sank. Should she make the excuse that she did not think like that? Or should she confess her true feelings? Wouldn’t unni understand her? That it was plausible for her to think like that?

If she thought about it, the reason unni was able to take the audition was thanks to the fact that she had not thrown away the profile. In a way, unni was indebted to her. Wasn’t it going too far for her to rebuke her for that?

Just as her thoughts branched into all sorts of directions,

“I’m going to go to the toilet for a bit!” Seungah ran into the chicken feet restaurant. When she came back out, she had the toilet keys in her hand.

Dawoon sighed when she looked at Seungah rush.

So that was it; she just had a bad stomach.

Dawoon looked at the phone in her hand. It was Seungah’s. It was also unlocked. She looked at the alley into which Seungah had entered and then looked at the screen.

-Don’t make Dawoon suffer and watch out on your way home.

That was the message Maru sent. There was nothing else in it. She felt relieved and locked Seungah’s phone before taking out hers. Like Seungah, she had gotten a message from Maru as well.

-Anyone can feel like that in their heart. Be careful on your way home.

There was nothing else. Dawoon felt her legs lose power and collapsed on the ground for a second before standing up again.

It was fortunate that he was someone who could understand how she felt. She smiled and tried to type a response. However, when she tried to, she found herself unable to move her fingers. She felt ashamed and a little excited.

-Thank you. Be careful on your way home.

She barely managed to send it. This was much harder than acting during the audition. She tapped on Maru’s profile picture. It was a photo he took with a cat with scary-looking eyes. She looked at the photo in a daze for a while when she felt a presence behind her.

“What are you looking at?”

It was Seungah. Dawoon said that it was nothing and quickly put her phone away.

* * *

Dawoon checked the phone.

Maru yawned and grabbed the handle in the bus.

He was going to stay oblivious, but he said something because Dawoon called out to stop him right at the end.

She was probably feeling relieved. If she was a bold girl, it was a problem that she would gloss over like it was nothing, but unfortunately, Dawoon looked to have a frail personality. It seemed much better to tell her upfront rather than let her agonize all by herself.

After a few stops, the bus became crowded. These people were all probably headed to Suwon station.

He opened a video on his phone that he had edited at home. It was a bunch of video clips from dramas and movies about criminal investigators. Even if he had some images in his head, there was a need to compare them with the trends of the era.

“That’s good,” he said as he looked at the investigators on the screen.

Acting was really a form of study that had no end. He had done it so much, but he still found new things.

While watching, he took away the things he had to and gained the things he needed.

There was not long left until he shot the first episode of the drama. He wanted to come up with various character designs before he got the script.

Maru stuffed his earbuds deep inside his ears. There was about an hour left until Suwon station. It was just enough time to focus.

[1] Aka vomit