Life, Once Again!

After Story 70

"Why did you get expelled? You should have taken a few more gap years and thought about it afterward."

"I've thought plenty. I chose to get expelled because my answer wouldn't change no matter how much more I think."

"Easy for you to say. Were you always this kind of character? The Han Maru I know would never get expelled."

"People are bound to change."

"You're right, you do look like you've changed, I mean, you're here drinking with just me when you said you'll never drink without girls."

His friend who came out on his last vacation from military service sighed and took a swig.

"Should I get expelled too?"

"If you want to, sure."

"What if half of me wants to and half of me doesn't?"

"Then think about it after you get discharged. Everyone's like that during their last days of military service. You think that you'll be earnest at everything you do once you get discharged, but when it actually arrives, you feel complicated. You finally feel like you're no longer a kid."

"It's really weird coming from you."

Maru poured some soju into his friend's glass. After staring at the glass, his friend waved his hand in denial, saying that he felt like he would vomit if he drank anymore.

"But hey, you know there's a bad rumor about you, right?"

"Rumor?"

"You don't know? Don't you keep in touch with the others?"

"If you mean the people from college, then it's indeed been quite a while since I last contacted them."

"So you cut ties entirely, huh."

"It's not that I cut ties. It's just that I don't have anything to talk to them about even if we do meet, so we naturally become distant. Though, someone like you, who calls during military vacation, I'm willing to meet."

"The guy that's always calling people out because of loneliness has become quite strange. Anyway, I was looking for you in the group chat, but everyone just grumbled. I asked what happened and apparently, you caused a fuss in your club when you were expelled. They said I shouldn't hang out with you since you swore at everyone saying that you won't have to meet them anymore."

"Really? I guess Mr. Sanghoon has worked hard."

"So it's true that things ended badly with Sanghoon-seonbae, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you do that? You two hung out a lot."

"What's there to explain? He doesn't even matter to me. If he wants to swear at me, then let him. He wants to waste his life doing trivial stuff, and I don't see the need to stop him."

He could understand. After all, in college, the college community feels like everything. It must be fun to feel superior in that kind of lifestyle.

But how long would that fun last? The first thing they would realize after leaving that community would be 'that's just it.'

His friend drank a spoonful of udon soup and spoke, "That's cool, coming from you. I feel like you've become an adult over the past half a year, while I'm still a kid."

"Apparently, you're not a kid if you feel like a kid. Congratulations, you became an old-man-to-be."

"I also want to become a successful old man. I thought about going back to college and getting a job, and man, does my father look amazing. Also, I realize that none of the things he said to me were wrong. If only I studied really hard and went to SKY[1], I would never think about getting expelled."

He said he wouldn't drink, but he picked up the glass he pushed away and emptied it in his mouth. His face became red due to the alcohol.

Twenty-two — it was very young considering the times they were in, but this friend of his was filled with worries. This was probably the same for others around their age. Afterall, what awaited them at the end of the marathon known as studies was a march comparable to the triathlon, known as employment.

"Do you really not regret getting expelled?"

"I don't even have the time to regret or think like that. I'm busy with preparations."

"Right, I haven't asked about that. What do you do? Did you find a job somewhere if you went as far as getting expelled?"

"I didn't get employment, but I did get a job."

"What job? I don't get it."

"Acting."

His friend's chopsticks stopped in midair. He looked like he had just seen a watermelon in the frosty plains of winter.

"Acting? Is it what I think it is?"

"It is what you think it is."

"Acting, as in, like, actors on TV?"

"Actors like actors on TV."

"That's crazy. Did your parents allow that? When you said you're going to become an actor all of a sudden?"

"I haven't told them about it yet."

"That's just totally crazy."

His friend laughed because of the ridiculousness and said he was taking back the words that Maru became an adult.

"It would've been less shocking if I heard you say that you got employed at a public company. Acting? Actor? You haven't brought up anything of that kind when you went to college, you know?"

"Everyone just has a flash of craziness sometimes. For me, that was six months ago."

Just as his friend was about to speak due to the absurdity, a couple from the table opposite them came over.

"Excuse me, are you perhaps from the Short Film Festival…," the woman started. The man next to her also hesitated and muttered that it was him.

Maru stood up from his seat. "Were you perhaps there at the closing ceremony?"

"Yes! We weren't just at the closing ceremony. We went there during the screening too. You're the actor from 'The Form of Love,' right? I told you, oppa. It's him."

The woman slapped the shoulder of the man.

"Han Maru. Your name is Han Maru, right? It was rather peculiar, so I remember it."

"Thank you for remembering me. Yes, I'm Han Maru."

"I really enjoyed the film. I talked about a lot of things while watching with oppa here. What are you going to do if I die? — and things like that. I watched the other films as well, but The Form of Love gave me the deepest impression."

"I'm glad that's the case. I've done my part if I managed to create a film that remains in your memory."

"Uhm, can we take a photo with you? It's our first time seeing an actor from up close like this. We were in the back seats during the closing ceremony, so we couldn't see you that well." The woman took out her phone.

Maru grabbed her phone and gave it to his friend. His friend, who received the phone with a dazed look, stood up.

"Sorry to bother you while you were drinking. But we were so glad to see you."

"It's okay. I'm actually thankful that you recognized me."

Here it goes — his friend then pressed the shutter. A few shutter clicks could be heard.

"If you shoot another movie, I'll definitely go watch it."

"If it's okay with you, can you tell me your email address? If I really do shoot a movie, I'll send you premiere tickets for it. I might be overstepping my boundaries, but you are the first fans to recognize me, so I can't send you empty-handed. If not, I'll pay for your table as well."

"No, you don't have to…. I'll tell you my email address. But I'm quite petty, so I remember things like this a lot. If you shoot a movie later and don't send me the tickets, I'll become your anti."

"I'll definitely send them over."

Maru received the man's email address, since getting the woman's email address might cause unnecessary misunderstandings.

The couple left the pojang-macha. Even as they left, they shouted 'fighting' towards him.

Maru sat down and checked the email address. He never knew that he would come across a fan like this. Korea sure wasn't that big.

"What is this? A candid camera? Are those your friends?"

"You were the one who took the photos, so what are you saying now?"

"Then they're really your fans? Really? Did you shoot a movie already? I heard it's only been six months since you got expelled and started preparing for acting!"

"I have an otherworldly talent in acting, it seems."

"No freaking way."

His friend took out his phone. He asked what the title of the film was. Maru told him that it was The Form of Love.

"The Form of Love, The Form of Love… it's really here? Short Film Festival Grand Prize. Holy shit. Your name's here too! Your name is on a web portal search."

"It's not from a people search. I'm sure it's just in small letters next to the awardee."

"What's important is that it's there. Moreover, your face is plastered on the film's poster. Where can I go watch this?"

"You can't. With some more time, the web portals will start supporting video streaming, but right now, there's no way to watch it since the film festival period is over."

"With some more time? How do you know that?".com

"I just know."

His friend just let him go at that because he wasn't someone to pry. He seemed to find Maru's face on the internet rather curious as he stared holes into his phone for a while.

"Now I have something to boast about. There's an actor among my friends."

"Even if you didn't put me on a pedestal, I was going to be the one paying today, so don't worry."

"Of course you are. You weren't going to have a soldier pay, were you? Right, wait a second."

His friend grinned and controlled his phone for a little. Maru dipped the sliced carrot in some ssamjang and put it in his mouth as he watched his friend's actions.

"Hey, look here."

His friend showed him the phone screen. It was the group chat from college.

He had taken a screenshot of the web portal search result and the description of the film and put it in the chat.

"I was wondering what you were doing."

"It's quite embarrassing to say, but you and I aren't exactly that close, are we?"

"We aren't."

"We'd just go out drinking with others together and would go to PC bang together. That was about it."

"That's about right."

"We're just ordinary friends like that, but I'm not someone who would just say yes to something that isn't right."

"I'm sure that was why you asked me out to drink."

"Isn't that a pretty decent ordinary friend?"

"Yeah, you're a decent guy."

Not long later, his friend's phone started ringing loudly.

Ding, ding — alarms kept popping up after another. There were a bunch of responses from the group chat. Maru also took out his phone and put it on the table.

Though not as much as his friend's, he sometimes got notifications. When he had a look, he saw that his friends from college, who never reached out to him until now, had sent him some messages.

He didn't bother checking them though. He neither wanted to see them nor did he feel the necessity to.

"Look at these guys. Their responses are really funny after they found out that you became an actor."

"What are they saying?"

"Half of them don't care, and the other half are surprised. Some of them are bringing up rumors about you and standing up for you. And there's about three or four who are nagging me for uploading this."

"Right, why did you even do that…."

"A friend of mine is doing well, so I should make it known. Damn petty pricks. They can't even congratulate you, and they're even grumbling instead."

"You know, you called me crazy when I said I was going to be an actor."

"That's just that."

"And this is this?"

"Exactly."

His friend laughed out loud and showed him the phone.

"Hey, I got a call from Sanghoon-seonbae. This fella has a good network. Or maybe there's a spy in our year who rats to him about everything."

"Who knows? Rather than that, aren't you going to pick it up?"

"I don't care. I'm not close to him. What's he gonna do if I don't pick up?"

"You're going to keep meeting him in college."

"Sure, let him do whatever he wants. It's my GPA that will feed me in the future, not him. Rather than that, if you need a manager later, then please use me so that I can lessen my worries about employment."

"I'll think about it."

"You're not taking it as a joke?"

"You never know."

Just as he was chuckling, his friend's eyes became wide again. Then it became narrow. He looked at the phone for a while before speaking,

"I saw something strange from the main web portal."

"What is it?"

"Your face. And also, a dog."

His friend showed him the screen and touched the banner. The video started playing and sound started coming out. There was a man and a dog running around in the park with cheerful music.

"So now it's coming out, huh."

Maru smiled as he looked at Collie's clear eyes, which he hadn't seen for a while. He wondered if it was doing well. Maru thought about the dog that ran around everywhere.

"You even shot an advertisement. Not just that, it's a public service ad."

"Things happened."

"In just six months?"

"Things happened."

"Should I quit school too? And look for my talents?"

"Think about that after you sober up. It won't be too late then."

Maru put a piece of food in his friend's mouth, who was scratching his head.

[1] Referring to (S)eoul National University, (K)orea University, and (Y)onsei University, commonly considered to be the 'top three' universities of South Korea around this time period.