Life, Once Again!

After Story 44

When I opened my eyes, I could see her. Even if I closed my eyes and opened them again, she did not disappear. She intruded deep into my everyday life and looked natural as though she was always there.

I emptied my plate and stood in front of the sink. Even as I washed the dishes, Mijin stood next to me.

“Do you remember when you first came here? You opened the fridge wanting to make me something, but I didn’t have anything. We didn’t have any choice but to buy some beer and snacks from the convenience store. If I had known, I would’ve gone grocery shopping beforehand. In the end, I didn’t get to eat anything you made for me.”

I shook the water off the plates and put it in the cupboard. I then made some coffee in the mug that Mijin gave me as a gift.

“Would you like some?” I asked her, who couldn’t do anything but look. I did not wait for an answer. Instead, I made some coffee in another mug that looked the exact same.

I picked up the two mugs in each hand and sat down on the bed. I put one on the bedside table. White vapor rose from the lips of the mug. Mijin liked to stand still with her lips on top of the steaming mug, saying that it made her relax. I also tried putting my lips on the mug. The faint heat spread around my mouth. The vapor that touched my skin before disappearing felt like Mijin’s touch.

I looked at Mijin, who was about five steps away from me as I drank coffee. I must be going crazy.

I emptied the mug in my hand. As for the coffee on the table, I just drained it down the sink. I picked up my phone and took a photo of Mijin several times.

What was captured in the photo was the empty sight of the minimalist room.

“Yes, mom. I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me. Okay, I’ll visit during the winter holidays. I do want to visit you before that, but I have so many assignments to do. Father is doing well, right? How about grandma? Yes, okay. Also, don’t bother sending me money. I don’t even use that much. Okay, see you then.”

I looked at the phone whose screen had turned pitch black before tossing it on my bed. Mom, your son actually isn’t doing well.

I looked at Mijin with my head against the wall. She had an expressionless face as though she didn’t have a shred of emotion left. What was it that I wanted to see from her? What was it that she wanted to show me?

Time passed. I don’t know if it flowed or not, but the date on my phone had changed so there must have been some change in time.

Today too, Mijin was standing not too far away and not too close to me. I ate, made coffee, and bathed in the coffee vapor.

“Do you remember the professor for the romantic psychology class? You know, the one who said he’d give us C or below if we didn’t get into a boy-girl pair. He did that again this time. Everyone grumbled, but they still looked around like it was some kind of espionage movie, looking for a decent guy or a girl no matter what. He also said that those from the same department could not team up, so it was a total mess. Do you know why I’m bringing this up? I’m just boasting. Three cute girls asked for my number, telling me that I should pair up with them if I don’t have anyone.”

I was speaking like I was broadcasting for the radio. It was a one-sided transmission of information without any interaction. It was a bitter broadcast that would not get a single fan letter no matter how I waited.

That was fine though. As long as this quiet listener was right in front of my eyes, this broadcast would not end.

* * *

Maru showed the process of the intense emotions calming down and then becoming numb in a plain fashion. Yoonseok was no longer surprised by Maru’s acting. If he had time to do that, he thought and thought more: Isn’t there a method to amplify the charm of the actor and the story even more?

He no longer thought that Maru’s acting was perfect and that one shot was enough. Ever since the sun set and they switched places to this one-room apartment, he looked at the screen in even more detail. He revised the designs and changed the composition. Once he got the cut that he thought of beforehand, he tried out directions that naturally came to his mind. This was only possible thanks to the actor who kept up his good work without any NGs.

“I want you to try acting totally brightly this time.”

“That’s not in the script.”

“It’s not. I like that one just now, but I do want to get another one.”

“I also wanted to try that out. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to broaden the amplitude of emotional changes.”

It must be a blessing to work with an actor he could exchange opinions with. Even he, as an amateur, could feel that, so how would it be in the world of professionals? If a director and an actor were at odds against each other in a field where time and capital were lacking, shooting would no longer be a blessing but torture instead.

“Let me have a look at the screen.”

He looked at the camera with Maru. Taking into account that the shoot happened over two days, he proceeded the shoot according to the flow of emotions as much as possible. He also prescouted the shooting location so that the actor could get into acting more comfortably. As the film was mostly monologues, Maru’s condition was the most important.

“Is this the feeling you wanted?”

“Yeah. Up until this point, it’s really good. I’ll have to see tomorrow about the scenes with Haneul-noona in it, but I don’t have any qualms with your acting.”

“You don’t have to worry about Haneul. If anything, she’s more meticulous than me. Oh, here, the outline of my face is slightly blurry. Did you intend that?”

“What I wanted was for you to look faint like a silhouette, but I don’t think I can make that work with the lighting equipment we have. I’ll try making it work during post-processing, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just go with this.”

“It’s hard to play with light.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know it was this hard. But it gives off the feeling I want, so it’s okay. The mise-en-scène is still being maintained. Rather than that, hyung, I’m going to close up as much as possible right here….” Yoonseok trailed off because he couldn’t think of the word.

Was it so hard to transmit his intent clearly and precisely? The image was in his head, but the process of changing it into words kept running into a hiccup. When he hesitated, Maru spoke,

“You can speak in detail. If we work together for a long time, we might be able to understand each other with just a few words, but this is our first. Moreover, this is your first ever work. You don’t need to use grand words. It’s hard to change the abstract into something direct and easy to understand. Only a master could easily explain such things. You just start by explaining the image in your head from beginning to end. That might be easier for you.”

It was advice that really helped him out. Yoonseok gestured to the staff and sat down. He took out a mechanical pencil and wrote down everything in his mind. Once he wrote it down, it became somewhat easier to explain. He looked at the things he wrote down and spoke to Maru.

“It might be hard, but I want you to show two facets at once. 70% happiness from being able to see Mijin and 30% anguish from not being able to meet her. That ratio will change as it goes toward the end. The anguish disappears completely and what remains is only glee, just like how it’s written on the script.”

“Ambivalent expression huh? I’ll try to do it. I’m going to try switching it up a few times. You just choose what feels right to you. I’ll use that as the standard.”

“Also, when you put your face against the mug, look at the mug for a longer time and look at Mijin only briefly.”

“Got it.”

He kept thinking of things that he wanted from Maru.

Yoonseok felt that the film was becoming more and more complete.

The actors got into their positions. From one moment onwards, the staff started moving as though they could tell where Mijin was from what Maru was looking at. They were doing their best not to break the flow.

“What are you doing?”

Just as he was shooting Maru struggling in anguish by himself, a lady in her sixties poked her face in after knocking. She introduced herself as the landlady and spoke with a sour expression that the house below called because of the noise.

“We’re sorry.” Yoonseok immediately apologized. He had forgotten because he was too focused. It was past 10 in the evening, and this place was a one-room apartment building with very thin walls.

Moonho stepped up and explained. When Moonho, who lived here, explained, the lady loosened up a little.

“I get what you’re up to, young people, but take it easy. You aren’t the only people here.”

“I’m sorry. We’re done with the noisy part, so we’ll be quiet from now on.”

“So who’s the actor? Someone famous?”

Maru stepped up. The lady’s eyes twitched. After mentioning that he wasn’t a celebrity she knew, he turned around. Before she left, she warned again that the student might have to pull out if they made a ruckus again.

“Moonho, sorry about that. You got into trouble because of us.”

“Forget it. Won’t these become memories later? She might say those words, but she’s actually quite nice. She gave me kimchi last time. She won’t throw me out.”

The shoot stopped for a while. They looked at each other quietly and focused on their ears. Only after they confirmed that the lady’s footsteps had disappeared were they able to resume shooting.

“This is a nice experience for a low-budget film,” Maru said.

Everyone laughed. Yoonseok turned off the fluorescent lights and turned on the lights they brought. The dynamic part was over, so they didn’t have to worry about making noise.

There was a small incident, but Maru’s expression did not waver. He covered his face with Lee Jungho’s expression just like what happened before the shoot was interrupted.

How much did he analyze and practice? The amazement lasted only an instant, and he started focusing. He was planning not to turn off the camera until deep into the night.

* * *

After shooting until late into the night, they slept at Moonho’s house. While she refused, the bed ended up going to Jiseon, and the men slept on the floor.

When she opened her eyes, the apartment looked like the morning after college drinking night. She sat in a daze for a while before getting herself together. She shook everyone to wake them up and washed her face. She didn’t even have any time to put makeup on, so she just applied lotion and pressed a hat on.

“Haneul-unni’s on campus. I’ll go pick her up.”

The appointment was at 1 in the afternoon, but Haneul gave her a call early in the morning.

It took twenty minutes to go to the campus by foot. She held her hat tight so that it didn’t get blown away and ran at full speed. When she looked for Haneul at the entrance, she found that people’s eyes were fixed on one place, especially the men. It was a spot by the tree in front of the entrance. Haneul was standing there.

She looked at Haneul, who was wearing a light violet-colored one-piece dress and white shoes. She looked like she was here for a photo shoot. The air about her was different. She enraptured every passerby with her face and body figure. Moreover, her faint smile was the cherry on top. Jiseon felt this when they met in the lecture room, but Haneul’s proportions were insane.

How could her calves be so thin while wearing loafers? She approached her while thinking that.

“Unni.”

“Oh, Jiseon.”

“You were supposed to be here at one.”

“I just came early so I can help out. Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re in a one-room apartment that belongs to a friend of mine. We shot there yesterday.”

“So everyone slept there huh? Did Maru snore?”

“Huh? Oh, no, he didn’t.”

“That’s good. If he snored, none of you would have gotten any sleep.”

* * *

That happened at 9 in the morning. And now, it was 1 p.m. Jiseon looked behind her.

Were there always so many people on campus? The students walking by all stopped and watched. The cause was obvious.

“There’s even more.” Jiseon chuckled in absurdity. Rumors seemed to have spread and people kept flocking. At this point, there were too many people for Yoonseok to handle.

“Is it because of Haneul-noona?” Yoonseok whispered.

“One hundred percent certainly,” Jiseon replied as she looked at Haneul standing alongside Maru.