Chapter 60 - Just Make Use of Me
Chapter 60: Just Make Use of Me
Only after hearing Han Zhan’s apology did Song Ci retract her gaze.
She looked at Han Zhan’s face and said, “Just now when you gave me the card, my face felt hot, as if I’d just been slapped by someone. I felt like burying myself in a hole.”
Han Zhan wanted to explain again, but Song Ci inched even closer to him. She placed her index finger on Han Zhan’s lips and stopped his unspoken words.
Han Zhan looked puzzled, not knowing what exactly Song Ci wanted to do.
Song Ci started sizing Han Zhan up.
Han Zhan had always had a clear conscience. When he was younger, he had served the army and his country. After that, he had founded Zeus Airlines, becoming the boss of a company and providing jobs with rather good incomes to a few thousand employees. Regardless of where and when, he was always doing something beneficial for the country and people, so he had always held his head high. On the other hand, while Song Ci looked famous on the surface, she felt extremely inferior.
Instantly, Song Ci suddenly wanted to pour out her thoughts.
Song Ci retracted her finger, looked straight at Han Zhan, and said, “As a woman, I played up to a man, seeking your protection and help—this is already pathetic on its own. Han Zhan, I can hold my head up high in front of anyone, but before you, I can’t be proud.”
From the time Song Ci used her biggest secret in exchange for Han Zhan’s trust and being together with him, she had already placed all of her pride under Han Zhan for him to step on at will.
Regardless of how unruly she acted in front of Han Zhan these days, she always respected and feared Han Zhan. She never dared to go against him and always obeyed him in everything—from what she ate to what she wore.
When Han Zhan heard these words that came from the bottom of Song Ci’s heart, surprise was written all over him. The Song Ci that he saw was always chirpy, cheerful, someone who liked to tease him, and always chuckled when he appeared to be distressed. Han Zhan never knew that in their relationship, Song Ci placed herself at such a low position.
Song Ci added, “Han Zhan, if circumstances were different, and if I wasn’t stuck in the mire and was just me—that pretty, lovely, and lively Song Ci who many courted—I’ll not beg you to marry me.”
A dreamy look appeared on her porcelain fair skin as she smiled, She said, “For me, I’ll be like every girl who seeks love courageously—to get to know you openly, get hooked up with you, and have an equal love relationship with you. Instead of the way things are now where I’m pretending to tease you without restraint, but fearing that you’ll turn your back on me more than anything.”
Song Ci’s smile became self-deprecating. “However, I can’t do that. I’m unable to protect my sister well. I can only hide her up. I can only stick onto you like a maggot and feast on your blood and flesh at will.”
She was like a parasite. Without Han Zhan, she would die in an instant.
“Han Zhan, I feel like I’m treading on a thin line—I can’t turn back nor collapse. Once I collapse, Mu Mian will make sure I’m dead.”
“I’m not as strong as I appear to be. I’m heartless. I’m afraid of dying. I’m afraid of you dumping me.”
“I won’t dump you, ” Han Zhan interrupted her. His tone was as serious as if he was making a promise.
Song Ci was slightly stunned and moved.
Since he was such a good person, she felt that she was even more inferior. Song Ci suddenly asked Han Zhan, “Han Zhan, do you know what’s an angelic bitch?”
Han Zhan frowned slightly and hesitated if he should answer this question.
Song Ci said, “I’m an angelic bitch, a manipulative dog.”
Upon hearing Song Ci used such terms to describe herself, Han Zhan’s heart ached slightly. “Song Ci, don’t demean yourself like this.”
“Han Zhan, do you want to know the real me?” Song Ci grabbed Han Zhan’s left hand and placed it on her chest. She mustered up the courage, tore away her mask, revealed her hypocritical and pathetic side, and said,
“I was unhappy with that job you gave me—it’s overbearing and unreasonable! However, to get close to you, I had no choice but to give in.
“When we came back from our work trip in Shunchen City, I had purposely stood by the roadside and waited for you to fetch me. I left my car in the garage at the airport. I’ve purposely plotted to seduce you.”
“I don’t love you. However, to please you and make you happy so I can stabilize my position as Mrs. Han, I will keep telling you I love you without guilt.”
“Han Zhan, do you understand? From the first time I saw you in the interview room, I had ulterior motives towards you and wanted to make use of you to deal with Mu Mian!”
“This is the real me—despicable, ugly, and selfish!”
Only after saying everything in one breath did Song Ci realize that she was so worked up that she was shivering.
“This is how miserable I am.”
After saying that and seeing that Han Zhan had pursed his thin lips, Song Ci’s heart pounded. Her legs were also slightly weak, yet she held onto Han Zhan’s hand and didn’t dare to let go.
Learning that she was a scheming and cunning woman, did Han Zhan also detest her now? Song Ci looked down and didn’t dare to look straight at Han Zhan. She felt very uneasy.
“Han Zhan, are you afraid of such a despicable me?” Do you not want me anymore?
A huge arm suddenly grabbed Song Ci. Shortly after, Han Zhan embraced her.
Realizing that Han Zhan was hugging her, Song Ci was lost.
Han Zhan’s deep and violin-like voice rang gently from the top of her head. “If what you said is true, then you’re a scheming bitch. However, you had to both put up a guard against Mu Mian and please me at the same time, it must have been hard on you.”
Song Ci was stunned.
She secretly held onto Han Zhan’s suit around his waist area and remained silent.
“Song Ci, how did you know I don’t have any ulterior motives by keeping you too?” A passionate and beautiful woman got close to a single thirty years old, and he was a handicapped man. Han Zhan wasn’t any saint who could resist it.
He had no control of his lower body.
As he looked at Song Ci, he wanted to possess her.
“Don’t feel guilty towards me. Please, just make use of me.” Han Zhan kissed her hair and said, “Don’t be afraid that I’ll dump you. You’re the woman who’s written on my account. I, Han Zhan, will never abandon someone who belongs to me.”
“Even if you don’t love me, there’s no need to lie to me. With frequent exposure, I won’t be able to tell the lies from the truths either. You can just stay comfortably in your position as Mrs. Han. No one can take that away.”
Upon hearing Han Zhan’s reply, Song Ci, who was on tenterhooks, heaved a sigh of relief and slumped weakly into Han Zhan’s arms. “Brother Han, let me lean onto you for a while, I can’t feel my legs anymore.”
The shoulders of the woman in his arms were shaking. Realizing that Song Ci was crying, Han Zhan instinctively adjusted to protect her face well.
Many people walked past them, but nobody knew that the top debutante was crying in his arms.