Chapter 584 - Bacteria
584 Bacteria
Zhou Wen was enlightened. “You mean to say that you want us to dirty our bodies? Then, Bai Ze won’t be willing to touch us. You should have said so earlier. This isn’t anything difficult. It would have been better for me to make preparations earlier though. I’d have got some pot-bottom soot before coming…”
“That’s not the case. No matter how dirty our bodies are, it doesn’t matter to Bai Ze. This is because it doesn’t need to touch us at all. It only needs one word to finish us. If we’re dirty, it might attract its annoyance. It could chase us off the mountain, but after seeing how dirty we are, it might just throw us down the cliff to our deaths,” Jiang Yan said as he shook his head.
“Then what do you mean?” Zhou Wen really couldn’t figure out what Jiang Yan meant.
“What I mean is that perhaps we have a way to make Bai Ze unwilling to even look at us or even say a word to us,” Jiang Yan said.
“How is this possible? No matter how dirty we are, it’s impossible for it to not even look at us, right? Even if it doesn’t wish to look at us, it just needs to close its eyes. Then, it can just say a word to make us scram down the mountain.” No matter how Zhou Wen thought about it, it was impossible for something like that to happen.
“Of course it’s possible. As long as you do as I say, you can definitely do it,” Jiang Yan said confidently.
“How?” Zhou Wen asked in disbelief.
“You’ll know when you read this.” Jiang Yan’s glabella shimmered with a purple light. His originally immobile body, like Zhou Wen’s, began moving. Then, he threw a book in front of Zhou Wen.
This only lasted for an instant. After doing all of this, the purple light between Jiang Yan’s eyebrows vanished and his body returned to a frozen state.
“Take a good look at the content of the comic book and you will know what to do,” Jiang Yan said.
Bai Ze clearly had absolute confidence in itself. Although it had heard Zhou Wen and Jiang Yan’s conversation and could understand what they were talking about, it didn’t mind at all. It looked at them as though they were two idiots.
From its point of view, no matter what Zhou Wen and Jiang Yan did, it only needed one word to finish off the two idiots.
Zhou Wen couldn’t move his body. Thankfully, his mouth could still move. He blew at the comic book on the ground and used the airflow to flip the pages.
This was one of the volumes of a comic book. There was zero context to what was happening, and Zhou Wen didn’t understand what it meant, but after reading for a while, his expression gradually changed.
The content of the comic book looked very normal, as though there was nothing special about it. It was just that the scene did not seem to contain any unbearable content.
Bai Ze lay there and secretly opened its eyes to steal a glance. Seeing that there was nothing wrong with the drawing, it closed its eyes and leisurely continued resting.
“Are you sure this will work?” Zhou Wen asked Jiang Yan with a strange expression after reading it.
Jiang Yan said with certainty, “Definitely.”
“Will Bai Ze kill us if we do this?” Zhou Wen asked again.
“Definitely not. Your blood will only make it feel that it has tainted its territory,” Jiang Yan said.
“Wait, what do you mean by saying that I’ve tainted its territory? Shouldn’t it be us?” Zhou Wen felt that something was amiss.
“Ah Wen, this matter can only be done by you. I can’t do it,” Jiang Yan said sincerely.
“We are all men. Why can I do it but you can’t?” Zhou Wen immediately retorted. He didn’t believe Jiang Yan’s nonsense.
“Actually, I’m also a clean freak. The severity isn’t any better than Bai Ze’s. That’s why I need your help. Otherwise, I could do it myself. I wouldn’t have to bring you here,” Jiang Yan continued sincerely. “It’s also because I’m a clean freak that I know this method will definitely succeed.”
“I don’t believe you! If you want to do it, we do it together. No way I’m doing it myself,” Zhou Wen said through gritted teeth.
“Sorry, Ah Wen. I’ll make it up to you in the future.” As Jiang Yan spoke, the purple light on his glabella lit up again, allowing him to temporarily escape Bai Ze’s control.
In the next second, Jiang Yan flicked his hand and shot out a piece of paper. It landed right above Zhou Wen’s head.
After doing this, the purple light between Jiang Yan’s eyebrows dimmed again and he became immobile.
“What are you doing? What’s that on my head?” Zhou Wen looked up diagonally, but he couldn’t see anything above his head.
“This is an Epic Companion Beast named Head Paper Figurine. As long as it lands on your head, it can control your body. Then, whatever it does, your body will follow. Don’t worry. The Head Paper Figurine’s control of your body is similar to the control of a puppet. Your body is still fixed, but it doesn’t affect what you are needed to do…”
As Jiang Yan explained, the Head Paper Figurine stood up. It was a paper figurine cut out of yellow paper. It didn’t have a nose or eyes. It was a human-shaped paper figurine.
However, when it stood above Zhou Wen’s head, his originally immobile body began moving like a puppet, but it looked extremely stiff.
“Don’t worry. I’ve already gotten someone to teach it all the actions. It will complete them in one go at the fastest speed possible. Remember to say the lines…” Jiang Yan closed his eyes. He didn’t even want to look at the scene or even imagine it.
“No… No…” Zhou Wen’s eyes widened as he looked down. He watched helplessly as his hand pulled at his pants like lightning.
“Ah Wen, it will be hard on you. I’ll make it up to you in the future.” Jiang Yan closed his eyes with an ashamed expression.
However, all of a sudden, Jiang Yan’s expression changed drastically as he suddenly opened his eyes. His pupils darted sideways, but he didn’t see Zhou Wen.
The purple light between Jiang Yan’s eyebrows immediately erupted again, but it was already too late. Zhou Wen appeared behind him, revealing a devil-like smile as he held the Head Paper Figurine with one hand as it constantly struggled. However, it couldn’t escape his palm.
As for Zhou Wen’s other hand, he had already grabbed Jiang Yan’s pants and pulled them down. Then, he flew up and kicked Jiang Yan’s buttocks. Jiang Yan’s pupils immediately constricted as he rolled towards Bai Ze with a look of despair.
“Haha, Brother Bai Ze, take a closer look at the spot that this fellow has rolled over. Those places have already been contaminated by his filthy bacteria… The wind will cause the filthy bacteria to constantly spread… Soon, the entire mountain peak will be covered in dirty bacteria… Make sure you don’t let him scram down the mountain… Wherever he rolls will be tainted by dirty bacteria…” Zhou Wen said smugly when he suddenly saw a purple whip wrap around his leg at some point in time.
“Ah!” Jiang Yan, who was rolling towards Bai Ze, gritted his teeth and pulled. Zhou Wen’s pants ruptured as his body fell to the ground and also rolled towards Bai Ze.