I’m Really a Superstar

On the Web.

Countless netizens from countries all over the world were criticizing like crazy!

A Japanese netizen: “That Chinese guy is so full of bullshit!”

A Korean netizen: “He really dares to talk big! Even an aircraft carrier is unable to escape his viciousness!”

An Indian netizen: “Meteorites that destroy carriers? Why don’t you just die!”

A French netizen: “After the nuclear submarines and laser weaponry, aircraft carriers have now been given the death sentence by the Chinese as well!”

An English netizen: “I can’t stand to look at the tactics that the Chinese come up with. They’re so powerful that even a carrier is not a threat to China anymore!”

A German netizen: “*faints*”

A Canadian netizen: “I’m fucking kneeling to China!”

A Pakistani netizen: “How impressive, my Chinese bro! You’re all so powerful!”

An American netizen: “Based on your arguments, nuclear submarines would not be able to enter your waters because of the kelp, the smog would prevent laser weaponry from hitting you, affect the visualizations of guided missiles, and prevent paratroopers from parachuting down. And now, even aircraft carriers have become paper tigers? Using a meteor shower to destroy them? Fuck you! Doesn’t that make China invincible to the entire world? Who else could beat you that way!”

A Russian netizen: “Hahahahahaha!”

A Dutch netizen: “Zhang Ye—China’s spiritual military strategist!”

A Pakistani netizen: “How impressive, my Chinese bro! I’m so proud of you all!”

An Egyptian netizen: “There’s no one who can stop the rise of China!”

An Australian netizen: “This is the first time I’ve seen a military expert who can speak so well!”

An Italian netizen: “That’s right, I actually thought that what he said was very reasonable, even if I know that he’s just bullshitting!”

A Brazilian netizen: “I had thought that the Indians were the best at talking big, but it looks to me that they’re nowhere near Zhang Ye.”

Countless Indian netizens scolded: “Get lost!”

A Chinese netizen: “You guys know too little about Teacher Zhang, so here’s an introduction of him again. He is China’s most amazing celebrity whose ability entirely hinges on his mouth. He’s someone who can even play soccer and dribble the ball with his mouth alone. So you guys should be glad that this program only ran for three episodes. If it were thirty episodes long, all of the world’s weapons systems would get taken apart by Face-smacking Zhang’s mouth. Not a single one of them would make it out intact!”

The Pakistani netizen: “How impressive, my Chinese bro! You guys are so impressive!”

The American netizen was speechless.

America.

Japan.

Korea.

Russia.

The UK.

The entire world was criticizing Zhang Ye.

Only the Pakistani brethren gave him their full support.

…

On the same night.

In the international news.

“China’s television program gets the attention of many!”

“China’s latest military strategies?”

“An aircraft carrier or a paper tiger?”

“China’s battle tactics shock the world!”

“Seven American-linked OEMs ¹ withdraw from China. What is the reason for this?”

“Is America’s reason for withdrawing its OEM factories to help reduce China’s smog?”

…

At Zhang Ye’s Studio.

After recording the episode at the Central TV International Channel in the morning, Zhang Ye spent the rest of the day at the studio where he and his studio’s staff watched the show together. When it ended, they went online to have a look, only to discover the Web filled with complaints about him. He chuckled but did not take it seriously.

Little Wang sprawled out on a table. “Hahahahaha!”

Ha Qiqi burst out laughing as well. “How long are you going to laugh?”

Little Wang clutched her belly. “Aiyo, I can’t take it anymore. Let me laugh a little while more!”

Tong Fu laughed until he cried after seeing the comments left by the world’s netizens and reading the international news.

“Director Zhang is amazing!”

“Director Zhang’s eloquence is unmatched in the world!”

“Pfft…hahahaha!”

“I was really tickled today!”

“Yeah, I nearly died laughing over the past three days!”

“We’re gonna get really popular again!”

There was laughter all around the studio.

At this moment, Zhang Ye received quite a few calls on his cell phone from his family and friends.

His mother.

His eldest younger sister.

His mother-in-law.

Yao Jiancai.

Ning Lan.

Zhang Xia.

And so on and so forth. His phone was blowing up with calls from everyone.

It was at this moment that something major occurred!

It was a totally unexpected incident that nearly made everyone vomit blood!

Ha Qiqi was looking at the news when she suddenly shouted, “Ah! Quiet! Everyone, quiet down!”

Zhang Zuo jogged over. “What is it, Old Ha?”

Little Wang stopped laughing. “What happened this time?”

Ha Qiqi spun around and looked at them. “This year’s Global Military Rankings Index ² has just been published!”

“So what if it’s published?” Zhang Ye said indifferently, “What’s the big deal?”

Ha Qiqi said in astonishment, “China’s military is ranked second in the world!”

The studio fell silent!

Zhang Ye eyes widened!

Little Wang was stunned!

Tong Fu was so shocked that his legs turned to rubber!

“What?”

“Second?”

“This is impossible!”

“H-Haven’t we always been in third place?”

“We’ve surpassed Russia?”

“Holy shit!”

“This—this—”

At the next moment, all of the studio staff turned to look at Zhang Ye in unison!

Zhang Ye nearly fainted. “Damn, what are you all looking at me for? What the heck has this got to do with me!”

It was a coincidence, a fucking coincidence that this year’s global military rankings had to, unfortunately, be published at this time. Further, perhaps due to the decommissioning of Russia’s only aircraft carrier, it had caused Russia’s military ranking to slide and be overtaken by China for the first time. Logically speaking, this should be quite normal. But somehow, it just had to happen at such a critical point in time. Of course Zhang Ye knew it had nothing to do with him, and the studio staff also knew that it had nothing to do with him either!

But this was not what the people thought!

It was not what the world’s netizens thought either!

Therefore, when the military rankings were published, the entire world blew up!

…

India.

“What?”

“China is in second place?”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

…

Japan.

“Oh my God!”

“Zhang Ye has brought China to second place in the world with his big talk!”

“Th-This doesn’t fucking make any sense at all!”

…

Korea.

“What does China have!”

“How can they possibly be second?”

“Comparing their military, and the number of nuclear submarines they have, Russia has nearly double of what China has. China only has how many subs?”

“But China has kelp.”

“Ah?”

…

The UK.

“Heavens!”

“The Chinese are defying the Heavens!”

“China’s spiritual military strategist has somehow pushed China into second place with his big talk!”

“Russia must be crying! Their military strength is not inferior to China’s! It’s even more painful that they lost due to that mouth of Zhang Ye’s!”

…

America.

“I’m gonna break down!”

“How can it even be like this?”

“Bullshitting can increase the ranking of a military too?”

“If Zhang Ye recorded a few more episodes of the show, China would probably overtake America and become the world’s leading military power. It would just be a matter of time!”

…

China.

“Hahahahaha!”

“I’m dying of laughter! I’m really dying of laughter!”

“Face-smacking Zhang is so fearsome!”

“That mouth of his is too fearsome!”

“Kelp, smog, meteorites, these three new killer weapons of China have pushed China into second place in the world!”

“The world’s leading military duper—Zhang Ye!”

“This rankings index doesn’t make sense at all! We should have already overtaken America and be ranked first! With a single Face-smacking Zhang, we can fucking take on ten of their aircraft carriers!”

“Pfft! That’s enough, alright!”

“Teacher Zhang is gonna get mocked beyond recognition soon! Hahahaha!”

…

The Chinese military.

Several of the generals were on the verge of a mental breakdown!

“This can even fucking happen?”

“It shouldn’t have anything to do with Zhang Ye, right?”

“Even if we say that it has nothing to do with him, no one will believe it!”

“This fellow is too good at inciting controversy!”

…

China was stunned!

The world was shocked!

Countless citizens around the world were in stitches!

Zhang Ye’s cell phone was blowing up with calls again!

Wave after wave of family and friends were calling!

Yao Jiancai was laughing like crazy on the other end of the line. “Hahahahahaha! Don’t stop doing the show! Keep going at it. Whether China can ascend to the top of the military world rankings is all up to you now!”

Zhang Ye chided him with a laugh. “Get lost!”

Right now, Zhang Ye was a little confused!

Of course he knew that he didn’t have a talent for military affairs. All of what he had said was just nonsense and only done for the program’s effect. He was still putting entertainment as his main priority, so he didn’t expect that the matter would get blown up so big.

…

“China has realized its dream of becoming a superpower!”

“China reaches second place on the Global Military Rankings Index for the first time!”

“Zhang Ye’s divine assist!”

“China’s second place was all down to misleading claims?”

The media also joined in the buzz.

…

Zhang Yuanqi had briefly stepped onto the international stage before, and other Chinese celebrities had also appeared on the international celebrity rankings before. Without an exception, their first task after breaking onto the international stage was to take on film projects or release an English song in order to stabilize their positions on the international rankings. Although they had all failed in the end, and no one managed to gain a foothold, one could tell just how much they valued their position on the international celebrity rankings. The first assignment after stepping onto the international stage was an extremely important one. A lot of people also thought that Zhang Ye would attach great importance to this.

But in the end, it was the complete opposite!

The first task that Zhang Ye did after getting onto the international celebrity rankings was to talk! Bull! Shit!

He did so to an earth-shattering effect!

He bullshitted until the world was stunned!

To be able to bullshit to such an effect?

Throughout the ages, only one person had succeeded!

On this day, Zhang Ye’s name once again resounded throughout the world!

On this day, Zhang Ye had truly gained a foothold on the international stage for the first time!

Moreover, he also gained a new nickname.

—The spiritual military strategist of the global military career field!