I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

I completed an extremely important task on Monday night before my dad returned to the hotel.

And that was to hand wash Ai Mi’s signed underwear three times.

That way when I hand it to Director Cao, there wouldn’t be any of my sister’s scent left on it.

I’m not feeling reluctant because I have a strange hobby for collecting my sister’s underwear, but voluntarily handing over my sister’s underwear is breaking my brotherly heart.

Shit, why didn’t I make more money from Shu Zhe’s worn underwear instead of trying to cash in my sister’s underwear to repay my twenty thousand dollar debt!

Wait, I think my reasoning is a bit off. If I never wanted to return the money, then I would have never thought about taking my sister’s underwear, not would I have actually gotten my hands on it.

It seems it would be better if I kept the underwear instead of giving it to a fanatical fan like Director Cao.

But I swear on the name of my ancestors: As Ai Mi’s brother, my love towards her is COMPLETELY PURE. I would never hide her underwear under my bed and it take it out at certain inappropriate times.

Of course, I should hurry up and pass this underwear off to Director Cao before an alien controls me and makes me do those horrid things.

Although I can’t guarantee Director Cao wouldn’t immediately wear it over his head and do lolicon stuff with it, Ai Mi might not even have worn this pair before. Afterward, I even put it on my head and now I washed it three times, so it’s already not much different from a new pair of underwear.

I didn’t have the guts to dry the underwear on the balcony. One reason is because it’s almost night and it would run out of sunlight soon. Another reason is in case Xu TianMing only pretended he repented but instead became more intensified. I would cry if he came and stole my hard-earned underwear.

Thus, I carefully dried the underwear with a hair dryer.

The underwear felt warm in my hands after being blow-dried. Even if it wasn’t fresh off her body, it can still reach the same warmth.

Hey, what are you thinking about, clear your mind. You should only have loving and protective thoughts towards your sister and any other thoughts are prohibited.

Oh right, I should check to make sure the smell is gone. I have to make sure Director Cao is basically getting a new pair of underwear other than Ai Mi’s signature.

I brought the underwear towards my nose and sniffed it for a second before I realized.

What the hell are you doing? Sniffing your sister’s underwear? Even though it only smells like soap, it’s still crossing the line!

Chinese netizens gave the male protagonists in Japanese siscon anime, manga, and games a nickname of ‘sister fucking demons’. I really don’t want to walk down that path. Since I had some extra time, I washed the underwear again and dried it with the hairdryer.

The next morning, I didn’t follow my usual routine of running around the lake, and instead called Director Cao while doing one-armed push-ups.

Even though he was woken up in the morning, he instantly became energetic when he realized it was me.

“Xiao Ye Zi, if you called me this early, is it perhaps about Miss Ai Mi’er’s underwear…”

I replied in a bad mood: “That’s right, I was able to get a pair. So bring your bank card and drive over, you can also drop me off at school on the way back.”

Director Cao readily consented and soon arrived downstairs.

He was driving a light yellow van. According to him, he bought it because it’s convenient to transport film equipment, and it’s also spacious enough to shoot car AV scenes.

After painfully handing Ai Mi’s signed white panties with a decorative border to Director Cao, he actually knelt down and shed tears of gratitude.

“I recognize this signature, it’s actually Miss Ai Mi’er’s writing. You didn’t lie to me, if you got her signature… then she gave it to you as a gift?”

I said: “Anyway, it was a gift Ai Mi gave to her number one fan. You seem pretty fanatical if you’re willing to pay twenty thousand dollars, so it’s not like I can’t give it to you…”

Director Cao was deeply grateful and bowed towards me a couple of times before getting up and passing me his bank card.

Then he took out a gold gilded box and carefully placed the underwear on the black felt inside.

Director Cao clenched his fists and pledged:

“It’s such a valuable gift, so I’ll live up to my name as a lolicon and pass it down to my successors as a family heirloom.”

Shit, aren’t those Xiao Qin’s lines? Damn fatty, don’t steal the female protagonist’s lines!

I looked at Director Cao as he closed his golden box and carried it around like Scrooge carrying a bundle of money. He glanced around as if he was afraid of someone coming to steal it from him. But just thinking about the contents made me feel unpleasant.

“Director Cai, your box looks pretty expensive.” I tried to change the topic to shift my attention.

“Of course.” Director Cao said proudly, “It cost me over ten thousand dollars! It would be rude to use anything less than ten thousand to store Miss Ai Mi’s underwear.”

Hmph, it’s not like you’re spending your own money. You’re just using that investor’s money, so I guess you don’t feel that bad spending it.

After Director Cao dropped me off at school, I sat through two classes while feeling at unease. I suddenly remembered I also forgot to bring Shu Zhe’s bikini to school, so I could only delay the shipment.

I climbed over the school walls during lunch after radio calisthenics and went to the bank on the corner (the reason why I went after radio calisthenics is because I don’t have the guts to skip, otherwise the class leader’s gaze would freeze me to death)

I stood in front of the ATM and gave Commissioner Wang from American Express a call.

“Mr. Ye, do you require our services?” Commissioner Wang said politely as usual.

I spoke with pride and some self blame:

“I already prepared the twenty thousand dollars I would give Ai ShuQiao.”

“Twenty thousand in one month.” Commissioner Wang was a bit perturbed since he knew I was only in middle school.

“That’s right, it’s all hard-earned money from stacking bricks and distributing posters. My house is already stacked full of coins.”

I joked with Commissioner Wang and tried to forget it was obtained in exchange for my sister’s underwear.

Commissioner Wang laughed professionally, “Mr. Ye is very humourous. Did you call to ask about how to transfer the money.”

“Yes, if I don’t transfer it away, then I might spend it all treating other people to meals.”

Actually, I would never use the money to treat others to a meal because that would be equivalent to eating my sister’s underwear.

Under Commissioner Wang’s guidance, I transferred the twenty thousand dollars to a special no-fee intermediate account temporarily held by American Express.

I felt my entire body relax. Now I cut off all connections with Ai ShuQiao and we can now battle face to face without any feelings of being mother and child.

“Mr. Ye, I have received your payment. It will be handled along with Madam Ai ShuQiao’s rebate at the end of the month, and it will be concisely written on the receipt… oh that’s right, you can still add a six-word message, do you need me to help you add one?”

I thought about it and sneered: “Just write ‘cutting off ties’.”

“Alright, then to confirm, this amount will be transferred at the end of the month along with the message ‘cutting of ties’, is that correct?”

“That’s right Commissioner Wang. I feel great right now.”

I then hung up with a laugh.

After returning to school, I notified Shu Zhe I didn’t bring his bikini, so he has to delay the delivery to Cilantro Buns. He said unhappily:

“I already made a promise~”

The he realized he spoke like a girl, so he told me angrily and awkwardly to not forget to bring it tomorrow. Then he tossed a piece of gum in his mouth and walked away.

When I saw him chewing gum, I remembered I was preparing to start a new balloon blowing venture. Maybe he should come to my house to grab the underwear while helping me blow up a few balloons.

But I don’t know which day is convenient so I put that plan aside for now.

I ate lunch with Xiao Qin on the food stalls street. We bumped into Xiong YaoYue who mooched a piece of fish from us, but treated us to yogurt.

Xiong YaoYue said to Xiao Qin after lunch when we returned to school: “Do you want to go to the washroom together? It seems because Xiong YaoYue scolded the class leader to not separate Ye Lin and his lover, so Xiao Qin had a good impression of her and the two of them left together.”

As for me, right when I returned to class 2-3, something bad happened.

Loud Mouth was watching a video online on her cellphone and burst out laughter, then she even called the class leader over to watch with her.

“Hey, class leader, check this out. These two people are fighting while wearing underwear over their heads! It looks like the underwear thief and his accomplice were splitting the loot and began to fight!”

“It turned out a nearby resident filmed the whole thing on their phone. They put it online and called it ‘Underwear on their head with matchless martial arts’. The views skyrocketed and quickly climbed to first place!”

“Although you can’t see their faces, one of them is wearing a uniform from Qing Zi Academy!”