Chapter 322 – Celery Sensei
It began to drizzle when it was time for school. Everyone was happy because the flag-raising ceremony was cancelled as a result.
I noticed the class leader brought a navy blue raincoat to school instead of an umbrella. I guess this means she started to bike to school again.
Unexpectedly, she took over a week to recover after I spanked her butt. The class leader’s skin is softer than I imagined.
As she walked into the school building and removed the hood of her raincoat, she had the atmosphere of a general. Her resounding footsteps split apart the crowd and numerous boys sent her longing gazes.
I felt an inexplicable sense of superiority.
Haha, even if she’s actually a general, she’s a general that’s been spanked by me! It’s something that will always be recorded in history! Even if you killed me to cover it up, your brother still knows the truth, or will you kill him too!
Xiao Qin, who brought her running shoes to school on purpose, stared anxiously out the window at the rain.
“It’s annoying, will the weather clear up before PE class in the afternoon…”
She was wearing the spring/autumn school sportswear, but there were quite a few people wearing it in this weather.
I focused on finishing Friday’s language homework, I hope I could finish it on time.
“We haven’t spoken at all over the weekends, don’t you miss me?”
Xiao Qin asked bitterly.
“Nope.” I glanced at her knees, but I couldn’t see her injury through her sports pants.
Xiao Qin pouted.
“By the way, since my mom was quarantined, her classmate and art instructor came to accompany me and it’s really annoying.”
“What’s wrong with having more people around, Auntie Ren is afraid you would be lonely. Did your art skills get any better?”
“My art skills are already amazing, they don’t need to be improved (≧3≦)/.”
“The art instructor advised me to start from the basics, for example drawing an egg… but who has the time. Eileen Chang once said: You have to start early to become famous!”
Ah, I could have gave you some assistance yesterday if you wanted to draw an egg, but my hands are tied today.
“In order to let a large number of readers appreciate my masterpiece as soon as possible, and be moved by my romance manga to the point where their souls are touched and they wish they were dead…”
Do you really want them to wish they were dead? Are you drawing manga or giving them arsenic?
“I registered as an author on u17 and applied to post my manga, ‘Love at Zhoukoudian’….”
Why is it ‘Love on Zhoukoudian’? Is the main protagonist the Peking Man of Zhoukoudian? If it’s a romance between cavemen, then that means it’s even more ancient than Jay Chou’s ‘Love Before BC‘! Do you guys think whoever unearths the oldest relic is the winner?
“The worst part is I wasn’t able to qualify because the editor said he couldn’t tell what I was drawing.”
No, he was already being polite. You can only draw shapes like potatoes and eggplants, instead of calling it ‘Love at Zhoukoudian’, it should be ‘Love at a Vegetable Garden’!
“Hmph, I can’t believe I was treated unfairly even though I’m a genius, they must be jealous of me. Just like how Van Gogh received the envy of the painters around him, they must be planning to unite and oppress me. Didn’t Lu Xun once say that in order for a genius to exist, there must be soil to create a genius, but why’s the soil under my feet so unwilling?”
Hey, wake up, you’re a genius of the killing fist, not a genius at drawing. Also, Lu Xun was referring to the soil to be used for growth, not for stepping under your feet…
“Nowadays, it doesn’t matter if you’re good at drawing. As long as your story has romance, you can leave it to the readers to use their imagination (gt;口<-)~~~~”
If that’s the case, why are you making a manga, just go and write a novel! It will definitely sell as long as you’re willing to post a sexy picture of yourself on the back cover and write some nonsense about relationships in your autobiography! A lot of people will come to your signings to shake your hand and get your signature, but I can’t guarantee what things they did with their hand right before the signing…
“╭(╯^╰)╮ It’s not like all the other manga that were approved have good drawings…”
“Especially ‘Uncle Shu drawn at 5 years old‘. They will approve a 5-year-old, but they won’t approve a 14-year-old?”
The author chose the name as a joke… Eunuch Cao showed me the manga once and it was actually pretty interesting.
“That manga only has shitty drawings, shitty scenes, shitty plot, shitty characters, I can’t believe people read it…”
The author wrote about himself intending for it to be self-deprecating. Do you not understand self-deprecating humor? It’s like when some people say my dog son is incompetent, do you think their son is actually a dog?
“I laughed at the first page. It’s clearly an elementary school student’s doodle~”
You will understand if you read a bit more, the drawings are actually pretty decent.
“I get angry just thinking about how this shitty work can get on the recommended list while my works won’t even be approved. So, I used the roast function on u17 and left comments on every page saying ‘super shit manga, it can’t be compared to Celery Sensei’s’ Love at Zhoukoudian!”
So you’re the type of ‘mangaka’ who only attacks other authors instead of improving your own works. Also, who’s Celery Sensei? Did you already create a pen name for yourself? Also, in Japan, only published authors can refer to themselves as sensei, please get off your high horse.
“I discovered: The authors who get on the recommended list all have connections behind the scenes. I only left 500 roasts, but I was banned saying I was spreading trash messages…”
You deserved it, besides 500 is already a lot! For something like ‘Love at Zhoukoudian’, I could tell it’s trash without even reading it!
“Hmph, I’m not getting recognized because there’s too much competition in China. I already sent a draft of ‘Love at Zhoukoudian’ to the editing department of Hana to Yume. They specialize in publishing shoujo manga, so even if they don’t understand Chinese, they will still bow down in front of my ultra-realistic art!”
Damn… The magazine is called Flowers and Dreams, not Potatoes and Eggplants! Stop wasting Auntie Ren’s hard-earned money for this stupid shit!
“Uh… Ye Lin classmate, I didn’t make an international postal delivery. I asked my art instructor who often visits Japan and Hong Kong to help me drop it off…”
“But the art instructor also envies my talent since she recommended me to not deliver it. In the end, I was still able to convince her, but she said once my mom leaves quarantine, she would quit as my art teacher…”
“Hehe (＠￣︶￣＠) is she at a loss for what to teach because I’m too talented? It looks like she’s pretty self-aware!”
But it seems like you have zero self-awareness! She’s simply giving up on someone as hopeless as you. I’m begging you, PLEASE. STOP. EMBARRASSING. Chinese manga.
In order to save time, the language homework was collected by both Gong CaiCai and the language class representative. When Gong CaiCai came to me, she wanted to say something, but she shrank away from Xiao Qin’s hostile gaze at her breasts.
After class, Xiong YaoYue was sitting on top of Gong CaiCai’s table. Gong CaiCai said sadly: the underwear she was hanging on her balcony was stolen on Sunday.
“WHAT!” Xiong YaoYue’s loud voice nearly broke the ceiling, “But I was at the class leader’s house yesterday, I don’t think Shu Zhe had the time to do it.”
“Why would it be the class leader’s brother?”
Xiong YaoYue clutched her chin and made a puzzled expression.
“Does he have an accomplice? I kicked him under the table, stepped on his shoes, pulled his ear when the class leader wasn’t looking, stole his wallet, but he still wasn’t able to show he knows martial arts, of course, I returned his wallet…”
Damn, not only did you freeload a meal off the class leader, you even hit her brother! No wonder Shu Zhe doesn’t like girls stronger than him, he’s already treated like this before they are even in a relationship!
“Xiao, Xiao Xiong…” Gong CaiCai said hesitantly, “I don’t think the thief is the class leader’s brother. Actually, when I went to collect my underwear, I met the thief…”
“Ah, did he do anything to you?!” Xiong YaoYue’s voice changed due to her worry.
“No… but even though he was wearing a face mask, his eyes were upright, and he even greeted me…”
Upright my ass, what kind of upright person would steal underwear! But I did hear young master Xu had a good appearance. If I had his appearance, then I would never be mistaken as a bad guy!
So he only stole underwear and didn’t harass you? I guess he has his principles as a thief.
Even if that’s the case, he doesn’t deserve praise. If I caught him in the act, I would probably give him a beating.
This reminds me of that battle we had under the bridge. He was the first one who pulled out a knife like a coward but wasn’t even able to land a single hit. He’s not even as good as Tang Jiang. If we meet again, he will lose miserably again.
As Xiao Qin had hoped, the weather cleared up before PE class.
After consulting with teacher Yu, Xiao Qin came to PE class wearing her new running shoes and observing from the sidelines.
She didn’t participate, but only stood behind a pole and stared at me with a (^__^) look on her face. I was able to experience a peculiar feeling of being raped by her burning gaze.
I guess this is what people mean when they refer to a perverted gaze.