Chapter 288 – As Parents
Xiao Qin took a nap on her table after successfully pestering me to eat lunch with her.
When she woke up, her scared expression from this morning was gone. Instead, it was replaced by a seldom seen maturity and calmness.
“Ye Lin classmate, our child has grown up safe and sound.”
How fast. Didn’t you just say in the last episode the baby was in an indeterminate state of death because of some questionable milk powder? Also, you have some amazing signals for your ‘Dream TV’. You don’t even have to pay for cable TV anymore if you can watch a drama right when you close your eyes.
“Um, although our child was foaming at the mouth because of the class leader, I, fortunately, bumped into a big-nosed professor…”
What does it have to do with the class leader, weren’t you the one who bought the milk powder? Don’t blame the class leader for everything.
Also, where did the big-nosed professor come from? Is it Agasa Agase from Detective Conan? Besides, not all big-nosed people are good people. Based on online predictions, Agasa Agase might even be the boss of the black organization.
“The big-nosed professor made medicine with a beautiful color. After our child drank it, not only was he cured, he also grew up immediately.”
Damn, don’t randomly drink suspicious medicine. Moreover, isn’t that medicine basically the reverse of what turned Shinichi into a kid? If the Professor has the cure, why doesn’t he give it to Conan? Is it because he is the leader of the black organization?
Xiao Qin looked at me with a gentle and amiable gaze.
“Since our child’s grown up now, we’re also old. Ye Lin classmate, please sit next to me by the fireplace and let us enjoy our late years happily.”
If you call yourself old at only 14 years old, how will those 30-year-old single men out there live with themselves?
“Ah, how will we fulfill our son’s ambition of taking the college entrance exam? His dad drinks and gambles every day, I’m extremely worried (;一_一).”
Xiao Qin played with her bangs while she sank into contemplation.
What, is she admitting I’m a terrible husband. If that’s the case, you should hurry up and marry someone else.
I’ve already thought Xiao Qin who had a TV dream was foolish enough, but I never expected her to run to me crying on my way home from school:
“Ye Lin classmate, Ye Lin classmate, our child’s been kidnapped..”
The people around us all looked at us with surprise and fear. They couldn’t understand how two students who looked like middle school students had kids.
I told her to keep it down in a bad mood, and followed up with: “Did you have another dream? Have you evolved to the point where you don’t even need to sleep to dream?”
“No, No.” Xiao Qin shook her head desperately and showed me her phone.
“Our child was really kidnapped, he even sent me a text.”
I stared at what was written on Xiao Qin’s phone:
“Dad, mom, I’m being investigated because I was living with a roommate of an opposite gender. Please transfer ¥10,000 to Constable Zhang as soon as possible. Info: 6228482901278556615 Agricultural Bank of China. Please don’t call, I’ll talk to you later.”
Is this a clear fucking scam text. I also received one a couple of days ago, but the one I received said to send it to Constable Lin and it was asking for ¥8,000 instead of ¥10,000. Looks like their greed grew in a mere couple of days.
I was pissed and said to Xiao Qin: “Ignore him. How did you even fall for this, are you retarded?”
Xiao Qin had tears in the corners of her eyes and anxiously held her phone on top of her chest.
“I… I also know it might be a scam, but what if… what if it’s actually true? What if our child used the big-nosed professor’s invention to come from the dream world and was arrested because he was living with someone of the opposite sex. Currently, he’s being tortured with hot chili oil and tiger benches and sent us a text with great difficulty, but we mistook the text as a scam, wouldn’t that be sad?”
Which world’s laws are these? Why would you be tortured with hot chili oil and tiger benches for rooming with the opposite sex?
Xiao Qin had a stubborn expression.
“Even if his father doesn’t care, I have to save him as his mother.”
Thus she gave the scammer a hands-free call.
I thought no one would pick up, I never expected to hear a heart-wrenching wail after Xiao Qin softly said hello.
“Mom, moooom, saveeee me~~~~~ Didn’t I say don’t call me, it’s terrible, I can’t hold on any longer. If you have time to talk hurry and send the police the money!”
It sounded like a male student who was probably older than Xiao Qin and me. His wails also sounded extremely sincere. It’s a shame he’s acting as a son with such superb acting skills.
Xiao Qin hesitated a bit and replied: “Son, don’t be scared. Even though your father is heartless, but mom will come to save you.”
Even though the ‘mom’ was a bit on the young side, they thanked the heavens someone fell for it and continued to cry and scream:
“Mooom~~~~ My dearest mother~~~ Dad is too petty~~~ My life rests in mom’s hands.”
Don’t call me dad.
Xiao Qin glared at me as if I was actually abandoning my son, then she said softly into the phone:
“Son, don’t panic. I don’t have any money on me, but your grandmother does. I’ll borrow some from her.”
Are you going to ask Auntie Ren for money? She’s going to smack you.
“Mom~~~~ I don’t care, hurry up, I’m going to die. If they don’t get money, they’re going to pull my teeth out with pliers.”
Fuck, are you talking about the police or the Triads?
Xiao Qin knocked her head, “But, I don’t have money right now… oh that’s right!”
The person on the other end stopped crying and seemed excited.
“Son, don’t you still have half the bottle of medicine from the big-nosed professor.”
Other person: “#￥#%%%……@@@@#@@@@……@@@@#%@@@@”
“I always told you to bring it with you just in case. Now’s the time to use it.”
“……”
“Use this chance to drink the rest of the medicine. You can keep growing larger and become a titan and finish off the bad guys.”
The scammer: “Uhhh”, then he hung up.
It looks like he realized Xiao Qin was a moron and wasted all this time screaming for his mother.