I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

“Special mission: Detected that host is present at a concert venue, now assigning the mission below:

“Perform a song that is wholeheartedly enjoyed by eighty thousand concert-goers.

“Mission Success: Receive a celestial cultivation method: Divine Inspection Technique.

“Mission Failure: Host must adopt the title of Fairy.

“Note: This mission cannot be rejected.”

An Lin: “…”

An Lin seriously felt like smashing the system.

Him becoming Fairy An Lin?

He’d rather die than adopt such a title!

The system either remained silent or gave him all these stupid missions! Has it come under the bad influence of Xiao Hong?

To sing a song that was wholeheartedly enjoyed by eighty thousand people?

For f*ck’s sake, the whole concert can probably only take eighty thousand at max capacity!

Even if Dongfang Xue was extremely popular and all the seats in the venue were filled as a result, he still had to sing something that was to everyone’s liking.

This was simply far too difficult!

Although An Lin’s singing wasn’t bad, he couldn’t compare to Dongfang Xue…

Dongfang Xue’s singing had already elevated everyone’s expectations through the roof, to now sing something that was enjoyed by everyone immediately following Dongfang Xue’s brilliant performance…

That was simply impossible!

Did you know why there were so few singers that came to collaborate with Dongfang Xue at her concerts?

It was because the audience would always draw comparisons between Dongfang Xue and the collaborative singer, and be disappointed by the stark contrast, prompting them to say things like:

“So this is (insert singer’s name)? What’s this trash that they’re singing!?”

Most renowned singers did not dare to collaborate with Dongfang Xue for fear that their reputations would be swept to the ground.

It was instead the singers that weren’t very popular that often performed during the rest intervals at Dongfang Xue’s concerts, simply as they had nothing to lose anyway.

Their objective was, of course, simply to strive for more screen-time. Things like reputation and the audience’s reaction were not important to them.

The audience did not have very high expectations for these singers, treating them as mere fodder anyway. As long as they did not sing out of tune, it was ok.

If An Lin was to come on to the stage to perform now, he would undoubtedly be treated as fodder as well…

In the face of Dongfang Xue’s halo of superiority… and the audience’s halo of debilitation…

Under the effect of both these halos, to sing something that would win over the audience…

He only wanted to say one thing, f*ck this system! If you wanted to make me Fairy An Lin, just tell me, why go through such a roundabout route!?

An Lin fell into deep despair but had no choice to accept reality.

Abandon all hope, then await a future transformation?

No!

Although there was very little hope, he definitely couldn’t give up!

An Lin would never bend to the will of another!

The system had completely ignited his fighting spirit. He wanted to struggle! He wanted to fight!

“Calm Celestial Maiden, I want to sing on stage!” An Lin said to the classical beauty in front of him.

“What!?”

Tian Lingling immediately let out a surprised yell.

Wasn’t An Lin here to obtain a signature? Why did he suddenly want to sing at Dongfang Xue’s concert!?

A hint of shock also flashed in Dongfang Xue’s eyes, but a glow of excitement soon took its place. “I can arrange that, when would you like to take the stage?”

“I’d like to take the stage after you finish your next song. If it’s possible, could you please talk me up a little bit before you exit the stage…” An Lin became more and more embarrassed as he stated his request.

Dongfang Xue covered her mouth and chuckled lightly. “Sure thing, do you have any notable singing achievements or prizes and awards? I can’t just make stuff up.”

An Lin cleared his throat. “Cough… I was the champion of the Shan City Eighth Middle School Singing Competition, does that count…?”

Dongfang Xue: “…”

Tian Lingling: “…”

There was a shared sentiment in their hearts. Of course that didn’t f*cking count!

This was a concert for Dongfang Xue, the most popular singer in the Hua Nation, perhaps even the whole continent!

You want her to brag to the audience about some middle school singing competition award?

To brag about this kind of bullsh*t award, you might as well go kill yourself!

“Cough.” Dongfang Xue almost involuntarily choked on her own saliva.

She forced a smile onto her face. “Mr. An, just leave your opening introduction to me. I hope you can perform well tonight. Tell Ms. Liu which song you would like to perform and she’ll take care of the rest…”

An Lin nodded with a solemn expression.

As long as Dongfang Xue talked him up a little bit, the eighty thousand fans might regard him as more than just fodder, perhaps high-grade food, or even celestial food!

As a result, the effects of the audience’s halo of debilitation would be weakened significantly!

The issue of the halo of debilitation appeared to be resolved.

But what about Dongfang Xue’s halo of superiority?

He couldn’t just ask her to intentionally sing badly on stage, then step on the stage himself and show her up.

To do something like this, not only would his conscience not allow it, Dongfang Xue would most likely immediately refuse.

She was a narcissist, there was no way she’d ruin her own reputation like that!

An Lin was at a bit of a loss.

Even if the audience were to regard him as a serious singer and not some sideshow, what could he do to win them over?

Use his skills as the middle school singing champion to win them over?

Even though An Lin’s vocal cords had received a significant improvement now that he was a cultivator at the Tenth Stage Dao Body, he had to admit, his singing skills were nowhere near Dongfang Xue’s level.

If you were to compare him to some other run-of-the-mill singer, he’d do fine.

But this was Dongfang Xue! A singer standing at the pinnacle of the industry!

This was her concert, and the audience was used to hearing singing of her absurdly high quality. An Lin had no hope at all of winning the audience over with his pathetic singing skills.

Aside from his singing skills, what else could he utilize?

Something that could instantaneously turn the tables, like some sort of trump card…

If he couldn’t compete in singing skill alone, all of it came down to song choice then.

He had to choose something that could instantly make the audience’s eyes light up, as only then could he achieve an unexpected result.

Suddenly, he thought of a song that was engraved very deeply into his memory.

This was a song that no audience member would’ve heard of, but it was an extremely moving song.

If it was that song… he’d have a chance!

“Mr. An, I have to take the stage now, hurry up and choose your song!”

Dongfang Xue smiled and waved at An Lin before striding out toward the stage.

After Dongfang Xue had left, Tian Lingling immediately sidled up to An Lin. “Hey, hey, Fake Daoist Priest, what the hell are you doing!? Why do you suddenly want to sing?”

A bitter smile appeared on An Lin’s face. “I have no choice. Not only do I have to sing, but I also have to win over an audience of eighty thousand through my singing. If I were to fail, you’d probably be able to see me in female garments every day…”

“Hah?” Tian Lingling’s bright eyes widened.

Although she did not know why An Lin had to wear female garments if he were to fail, the thought of it still got her quite excited…

“Mr. An, have you thought about what accompaniment you’d like for your song?” Ms. Liu made her way toward An Lin. It was his turn to take the stage soon so he had to make a decision.

An Lin shook his head. “I don’t need any accompaniment!”

“What!?” Ms. Liu stared at An Lin blankly.

“To sing at a concert with no accompaniment?”

Are you kidding!?

Tian Lingling’s eyes glowed even brighter. No accompaniment, to win over an audience of eighty thousand with his vocals alone…

Didn’t that mean… she’d be able to see An Lin in female garments as soon as tomorrow?

An Lin earnestly nodded his head at Ms. Liu.

What he was about to sing was a song from The United University of Cultivation.

There was no one in the mortal world who knew how to perform the song.

His vocals would just have to suffice.