I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

What the hell was he doing? How dare the baby piss in his sea of vital energy?!

An Lin wanted to call the f*cking police and report the baby for peeing in his sea of vital energy!

However, he soon realized with anguish that no one would believe him.

Even if someone did believe him, no one could help him anyway…

“Sigh… My heart is so exhausted, I want to change this f*cked up life…”

An Lin’s combative spirit was greatly dampened, and he lay on his bed with a disconsolate expression.

While all this was happening, news of An Lin’s breakthrough to Soul Formation Stage was beginning to make its way all around the school, stirring up a huge sensation! Especially after the students heard that the tribulation lightning he endured was a Golden Void Lightning Kirin and that he was able to control the Kirin, everyone was shocked into silence.

They then heard that An Lin also gave birth after transcending his tribulation and all the already dumbfounded students became even more baffled, as if they were listening to incomprehensible nonsense.

“Who would have thought that Senior An Lin really did progress to Soul Formation Stage.”

“He’s the first student in the school to break through to Soul Formation Stage, right? What insane speed of progression!”

“That’s not even the point, the point here is that Classmate An Lin has completely shattered our outlooks on cultivation…”

“He transcended the Golden Void Lightning tribulation by making the Golden Void Lightning his own plaything and then gave birth to a living being in the end… All this has definitely shattered my outlook on cultivation!”

“I don’t even have the words to describe how I’m feeling right now. I can only offer up my sincerest and utmost admiration to Big Brother An!”

“Ahhh~~~I’m so excited, we’re attending the same school as a living legend!!”

…

Thus, An Lin’s tribulation transcendence became the hottest topic within the school.

After a couple of days off, An Lin resumed his classes. However, he discovered that his fame had risen to an extremely terrifying extent. There would often be retarded superfans popping up in his way before startling him with their shrieks.

Of course, they weren’t shrieking on purpose; it was simply because they were far too excited to be in his presence…

Dao exchange letters, friend request letters, and love letters flooded toward him. An Lin naturally didn’t waste too much time looking at them; he didn’t have enough time to go through all of them anyway! At most, he would flick through a few of the love letters…

The mission to raise An Kirin’s body weight to one kilogram had been temporarily put on hold by An Lin.

He didn’t even know how to communicate with An Kirin, how was he supposed to fatten him up?

An Lin recalled back to when he held An Kirin in his hands and determined that his body weight was roughly half a kilogram. Hence, he had to double An Kirin’s body weight. That sounded like an extremely tall order.

On one peaceful night, an unexpected guest arrived in front of An Lin’s living quarters.

Knock knock knock…

Knock knock knock…

A rhythmic spell of door-knocking sounded.

An Lin opened the door and was greeted by the sight a pair of tall, fluffy white ears.

He then looked down to see a pair of round, beady eyes and pristine rabbit teeth.

“Good evening, Idiot An.”

A sweet voice sounded, and the rabbit that was half the size of a grown man strutted casually in through the door as if it was the owner of the house and An Lin was the guest instead.

An Lin’s lips twitched as the rabbit strutted in. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was holding a bag in her hands, he would’ve immediately kicked her out the door.

“Master Yue Tu, I am absolutely overwhelmed with delight that you could find the time out of your busy schedule to come and visit me!” An Lin said with a fawning smile as he poured a cup of tea for the pristine, white Yue Tu.

“The Palace Leader heard you had broken through to Soul Formation Stage recently and asked me to bring a present to you,” Yue Tu replied nonchalantly.

“Ah… You didn’t have to! I can’t ask for presents from Celestial Maiden Chang’e, I’m already extremely flattered that you could come to visit me!” An Lin waved his hand emphatically.

Yue Tu chuckled lightly, and her two large ears waved happily in the air. “Alright, then I’ll be taking these mooncakes made by Chang’e in your stead. I haven’t had enough of these in the Moon Palace, but the Palace Leader was too stingy to give me anymore… God knows why she’s so generous toward you, hmph!”

An Lin’s expression immediately shifted after hearing her words. These really were mooncakes made by Chang’e!

If that was the case, then he definitely couldn’t let Yue Tu steal them from him.

With this in mind, his hand shot forth like lightning before latching onto the bag in Yue Tu’s hands and stowing it away into his storage ring. The whole process was completed in one smooth motion, leaving the onlooker in awe of his grace and fleetness of hand.

“Since Master Yue Tu has already come here, I can’t just let your visit be a waste of your time. Hence, I feel that it’s best to cooperate with the task you were assigned and help you complete the mission Chang’e gave to you,” An Lin said with a justified expression.

Yue Tu blinked with a vacant expression. “I understand that, but why are you taking my dried carrot snacks?”

Her finger flashed with white light and an intricately packaged yellow, round platter appeared on the table before she continued, “These are the mooncakes Chang’e asked me to deliver to you.”

An Lin: “…”

The situation became extremely awkward.

In the end, An Lin retrieved the dried carrots and handed them to Yue Tu with a blush on his face. In the process, Yue Tu was constantly mocking him for his lack of intelligence.

“There are six mooncakes in total in here, each of which is extremely high in energy so you can only eat one per week at most, don’t be greedy,” Yue Tu cautioned.

An Lin nodded at her words before impatiently opening the box.

There were six golden mooncakes in the container, all of them looking as if they were perfect artistic creations under the dim light of the moon. The faint scent of osmanthus flowers wafted throughout the entire room, and everyone trembled involuntarily as they caught a whiff of the exquisite scent.

Xiao Chou immediately stopped photosynthesizing, Da Bai instantly stirred from his deep slumber, and Xiao Chou charged in from outside with golden light flashing in his eyes.

An Lin swallowed audibly and suppressed his urged to immediately devour the mooncakes as he turned his gaze upon a white envelope enclosed in the container.

He opened the letter inside with a curious expression and lines of exquisite handwritten text appeared before his eyes.

The letter read: Congratulations on successfully progressing to Soul Formation Stage, Mr. An Lin. I had once promised you some handmade mooncake and that is a promise that I have never forgotten. These mooncakes are also a celebratory gift in welcoming your child into this word. Furthermore, I’ll be leaving Xiao Yue in your care. Please ensure Xiao Yue’s body weight drops to below 25 kilograms in a month.

– Chang’e

An Lin looked at Yue Tu with a peculiar expression after finishing the letter. “What’s the meaning of this?”

Yue Tu rolled her eyes. “It means she’s congratulating you on progressing to Soul Formation Stage as well as on the birth of your new son!”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” An Lin immediately shook his head before a thought suddenly occurred to him and his chest constricted. “Wait! I was intending to ask about that too, what’s this about a new baby boy!?”

Yue Tu shook her head in resignation. “Sigh, Idiot An… let me lay this out for you. The Palace Leader feels like I’m too fat and can no longer hold me in her lap, so she doesn’t want me anymore. She has set a time limit of one month for me to drop to a bodyweight below 25 kilograms, and you have to supervise me through this process. Do you understand now?”

An Lin’s lips twitched. He had to help Yue Tu lose weight?

He suddenly recalled that he had mentioned a desire to help Yue Tu lose weight once before. But who would have thought she would take him seriously…

Chang’e’s mooncakes were extremely valuable, so it was reasonable to expect him to do something for her in return. But he had absolutely no experience with helping someone lose weight!

An Lin was still trying to figure out how to fatten up his own golden baby and now there was a rabbit trying to lose weight that he had to factor into the equation too?

His head would probably be filled with nothing but bodyweight notions in the next few days.

He couldn’t help but sigh with emotion. Just what had the world become? Was he really even f*cking cultivating!?