I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Gundam One and Gundam Two strode first into the Palace of Earth and looked out in front of them cautiously without making any further movements.

A silver-haired middle-aged man with a dragon sat on the main throne in the palace.

He wore a purple robe, and he surveyed the newcomers with a calm yet curious gaze.

“Welcome, friends, to the Palace of Earth,” a warm yet masculine voice sounded, giving everyone a soothing sensation.

Although the man looked quite ordinary and had a gentle demeanor, An Lin still did not dare to let down his guard. Who knew if this was all just a facade?

“Greetings, is there any good stuff we can obtain from your palace? Woof!” Da Bai cut straight to the point in a blunt manner that would make An Lin proud.

A surprised laugh escaped from the man’s mouth. Who would have thought that even the dog among them would be so interesting…

He said with an indulgent expression, “You’ve almost emptied everything in the Winter Dragon Tomb on your way here, are you still not satisfied?”

Everyone immediately looked away a little sheepishly at his words.

“However… I really do have something you’ll be interested in here,” the man continued as he cast a meaningful glance toward everyone. “However, you can’t obtain it through brute force alone. If you want it, you’ll have to win its heart first…”

An Lin’s eyes lit up. “So we won’t have to fight? That’s perfect! Everyone’s promoting a more peaceful and cultured society now, so your proposal suits me just fine!”

The middle-aged man was slightly taken aback by An Lin’s words but nodded in approval at the concept of a peaceful and cultured society. “I have an immortal tool here by the name of Dragon Sparrow Sword. It’s a weapon that was once wielded by Shen Yin and can only be used by a fated person. The sword has a soul which is extremely difficult to tame, but you can try to communicate with it to see if it’s willing to accept you as its master!”

He tossed a longsword into the air as he said this.

Instantly, heaven and earth were filled with powerful sword intent, and the cries of dragons and phoenixes reverberated throughout the air.

The Dragon Sparrow Sword was glittering and translucently white, giving it a holy and flawless appearance.

Its blade was asymmetrical, with one side as crimson as a phoenix rising from the flames, while the other side was a deep blue like the lightning wielded by a dragon. Such contrasting features somehow did not appear conflicting at all. Instead, it created a harmonious balance.

The Dragon Sparrow Sword floated in the air with its tip pointing toward the ground, exuding radiant light of white, crimson, and blue.

An Lin and the others all stared at it with their eyes wide open. Just the sword’s appearance alone made it worthy of its title as an immortal tool!

In comparison, the Evil-Slaying Sword and the Realm-Piercing Nail, which were both also immortal tools, were far too understated!

It had to be said, the allure of an immortal tool was quite strong, especially when it was as eye-catching as this one. Everyone’s eyes lit up, and they were all itching to have a go at taming its spirit.

“I volunteer to go first, woof!”

Da Bai proposed before striding toward the Dragon Sparrow Sword.

The corners of his lips curled up slightly as he stared at the sword with eyes full of affection. He raised his head proudly, yet he said in a soft and gentle voice, “Hey, baby, if you hang with me, I’ll make sure to protect you and be with you forever. I’ll take you to look at the most beautiful scenery in the world, go to the world’s best brothels and slay the most powerful enemies… If you want, I can lick you and love you every single day, and…”

Boom!

Da Bai did not get a chance to finish his sentence before he was struck by a bolt of lightning, instantly frying him from inside out.

Da Bai opened his mouth and white smoke escaped from within. Tears welled up in his big watery eyes, giving him an extremely aggrieved look.

“Waah… you don’t have to get violent even if you don’t like my confession, woof…”

Lightning flashed around the Dragon Sparrow Sword, indicating that it was clearly charging energy to shoot off a few more rounds. Da Bai instantly retreated in fear and did not dare to do say anything further in case he provoked the sword’s fiery temper.

Da Bai’s tactics ended in failure.

An Lin didn’t expect Da Bai would use this type of method to try and appease the Dragon Sparrow Sword, and he was even more shocked that something so gooey and disgusting could come out of Da Bai’s mouth. Even now, he had goosebumps lingering all over his body.

It was no surprise that the Dragon Sparrow Sword shocked him with lightning. If he continued with his proposal, even An Lin was starting to consider beating him up.

“Let me try!”

Xiao Chou walked toward the Dragon Sparrow Sword with determination.

He strode over with sincerity radiating from his bulb-like eyes. “Brother Dragon, would you care to join me in conquering the world? When I stand above the world in all my supremacy, I’ll be sure to grant you your share.”

An Lin and Xu Xiaolan both shuddered at his words. Where the hell did he even learn such a dreadful script?

Xiao Chou was still continuing on obliviously, “This metal club was once my weapon of choice, but for you… I’m willing to train in the way of the sword! I’m willing to become a Sword Immortal monkey!”

For Xiao Chou to go as far as to relinquish his silver staff, as expected… the Dragon Sparrow Sword had completely won his heart.

A crisp ringing sounded from the Dragon Sparrow Sword as wisps of flames appeared in the air.

Xiao Chou tensed his whole body in anticipation. He was expecting to receive the violent treatment Da Bai had suffered.

However, he soon found that he was wrong.

The crimson flames formed into a series of words in the air as if it was trying to communicate.

Everyone’s eyes lit up at the sight of this— perhaps Xiao Chou had a chance!

Words slowly began to materialize in the air:

Thank you for your kind words, Brother Monkey, but please do not call me Brother Dragon, I’m a female.

On top of that, you’re too ugly for my beauty standards, so keep playing with your silver rod.

Flaming letters slowly burned in the air while everyone stared in shock.

Boom!

The words “you’re too ugly” was more powerful than any physical attack, knocking Xiao Chou completely senseless.

This was a psychological attack that was more fearsome than any spell technique!

An Lin, Xu Xiaolan, and Da Bai all cast sympathetic glances toward Xiao Chou.

The flames slowly dissipated.

Xiao Chou’s body swayed as he left…

Xu Xiaolan couldn’t help but be concerned at the sight of Xiao Chou’s lifeless expression. “An Lin, is Xiao Chou OK?”

An Lin waved his hand. “He’ll be fine, he needs to face reality…”

Da Bai and Xiao Chou had both failed, so it was now the time for their owner to make an attempt.

From the Dragon Sparrow Sword’s response, it could be deduced that the sword was a beauty critic!

An Lin’s confidence was greatly boosted by this notion. He was very handsome so that segment at least was in the bag.

With this in mind, a confident smile appeared on his face.

He was just about to step forward when a thought suddenly occurred to him, and he faltered in his steps.

No… he couldn’t just step up like this!

According to the laws of cinematography, those who went first were usually cannon fodder. The main character had to be the last one to take the stage.

An Lin looked toward Xu Xiaolan with a warm smile. “Xiaolan, ladies first.”

“Huh?” Xu Xiaolan blinked her clear eyes in surprise before nodding. “Oh.”

She didn’t think too much of it and stepped forward toward the Dragon Sparrow Sword as suggested.

An Lin was still full of confidence. Hehehe… the Dragon Sparrow Sword is female, creatures of the same sex repulse one another while opposites attract. Those are the laws of nature. I’m the most handsome person here so the owner of the Dragon Sparrow Sword could be none other than yours truly!

Xu Xiaolan walked toward the Dragon Sparrow Sword and was at a bit of a loss for what to do.

She had not yet formulated a plan to communicate with the Dragon Sparrow Sword and did not know what to say.

“Hi there…” she began with a greeting that was pleasing to the ears.

Whiz…

The Dragon Sparrow Sword vibrated lightly as if it was returning her greeting.

Xu Xiaolan breathed a soft sigh of relief. It seemed like the Dragon Sparrow Sword was pretty easy-going after all.

She couldn’t help but reach out with her fingertips at the sight of such a beautiful sword and lightly stroked the translucent white sword.

Oh… the sword had a pleasantly smooth and cool feel to it.

“Woah! That’s so hot! She has only uttered a greeting and now she’s feeling her up, woof!” Da Bai couldn’t help but yell.

An Lin felt like something was slightly amiss. When Xu Xiaolan stroked the Dragon Sparrow Sword, it vibrated with a crisp ringing— this was a very joyful sound…

Golden flames appeared on the tips of Xu Xiaolan’s fingers at some point in time.

“What’s going on? My energy is being activated?” Xu Xiaolan’s eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of the golden flames dancing at her fingertips.

Why was the Dragon Sparrow Sword able to activate the power in her body? It clearly hadn’t accepted her as its owner yet…

The middle-aged man sitting on the throne in the center of the palace stood up abruptly with an expression of shock.

Instantly, the wind and clouds began to swirl violently.

The Dragon Sparrow Sword flew into the air with azure dragons revolving around the sword and the sound of a mighty dragon’s roar erupted like booming thunder. The projection of a phoenix also fluttered into the air, releasing countless beams of heavenly light.

“The Dragon Sparrow Sword has awoken… she… she has chosen an owner!” The middle-aged man trembled in excitement.

An Lin was rooted to the spot. Holy f*ck, it chose an owner just like that?!