I have a bunch of players on Earth

Old Master Lu’s Second Strategy Guide

On the second day after the overlord came back, Old Master Lu, who had become very listless, suddenly became very energetic after seeing so many NPCs. After observing them excitedly for one day, he started to write the second strategy guide on Dawn Gaming Evaluation Company’s column.

“Hello everyone, it’s me again, the Old Master Lu you love and respect. First of all, let me thank all the netizens for the likes you’ve given to my previous strategy guide. It remained a popular post on the gaming forum, not overtaken by distasteful posts like [Brother Zhi teaches you how to eat dumplings]. I feel very consoled. Many of you have urged me to come up with a second strategy guide. Therefore, I wish to explain that it’s not that I don’t want to release a new post, but that there was really nothing to release. There’s only that bit of content in the game’s initial phase, and I’ve already mentioned all there is to mention in the first post. There’s nothing much for me to post about in a second one.”

“Thankfully, although this game’s rhythm is slow, they know that it cannot remain stagnant. Therefore, three days ago, the overlord had assigned the player with the highest number of glory points from each race to follow him back to the federation on a procurement mission. I’m very honored to be the representative for the Wood elves this time around, and I’ll be sharing my experience for this mission.”

“First of all, I’d like to say that this game is definitely not semi-finished! I know that many companies have hired internet water armies to post negative comments about this game recently after its popularity had slowly increased. I really have to give in to them. There’s only a total of a few thousand players in the game, but there were close to 700,000 one-star reviews for this game. Some people even wrote long articles to criticize this game for being semi-finished. I’d like to ask them, have you played it before? If you have, then reveal your ID if you dare! There are only so few players, and most of them stay around the newbie village most of the time. If you can give a name, I’d definitely be able to help you prove your existence!”

“I’ll be releasing a series of screenshots, and they can prove what I say. They are the scenes that we’ve seen while traveling for this mission. There are interstellar trains that are several thousand zhangs long, academies that look like heavenly imperial palaces, as well as super large free markets. The size of the free markets especially surpasses my imagination. I feel that just one free market alone might be bigger than one of our districts. We walked for a total of 3 hours, but there was still an endless stretch of shops in front of us. The variety of shops blinded my titanium dog eyes! Some shops sell high technological products, magic tools, interstellar monsters, and even mechas!”

“That’s right, there are mechas in this game. I apologize for previously persuading all players to not choose the Developer job. The latest news is that, in the later phase of the jobs, only the Developers get to choose jobs in the magic department!”

“For those people who didn’t choose the Developer job because of my previous article, I’m really sorry. I feel very aggrieved as well. This game doesn’t leak out any news at all, so who the hell would know that there are such great prospects for such a trashy job? Who’d have thought that there’s actually lord wizards in a science-fiction game? But I still have to say this. The Developer job is extremely boring in the early phase and can be likened to working in an assembly line. Those who are slightly more outstanding would be like Raingirl No Melons, drowned in various kinds of calculations. It isn’t as fun as playing an elf or green titan. For those who can’t accept this, then I won’t recommend this job to them.”

“Let me carry on to talk about the changes to this game in the later phase. Right now, a new batch of NPCs have been recruited to the base, and it seems that they are here to instruct us for our advancements. The ones that are the greatest in numbers are the Developers’ instructors. The subjects they instruct on include common engineering courses like electrical and mechanical services, machinery, chemistry, biology, agronomy, and medicine. Based on the overlord’s regulations, everyone would have to pick out an engineering course regardless of whether they wish to become a mage, mecha warrior, or any other mental-type occupations. Those who aspire to become mecha warriors must excel in machinery as well as in electrical and mechanical services.”

“This is like taking up two majors in university! Having lived for so long, this is the first time I’ve heard of learning things in a game. It’s really a positive game that serves as a role model. Once again, I express my condolences for the Developer players…”

“Of course, for the Developer players, the greatest news is that there are a few instructors that specialize in magic. There are a total of four of them, respectively teaching arcane arts, elements evocation, prophecy, and evil demon. With how the jobs for the magic department are broken down into such clear categories, I wonder how the battle system in the later phase of the game would be like. As everyone has just started to receive the teachings, I’m not clear what the characteristics for these four magic occupations are. This is especially so for the prophecy department. What the hell is this for? During a battle, will you be making prophecies on whether the opponent will be launching a left punch or a kancho [1]?”

“There are a lot of instructors for green titans as well. In addition to that impressive chief instructor, there are a total of 16 of them. PS (That chief instructor is really goddamn impressive!!). Unlike the complicated Developers, the green titans seemed to be a solid warrior-type race. According to the overlord’s regulations, green titan players can apply to get taught after completing 200 hours of physical labor. Therefore, newcomers are better off just sticking to the physical labor and stop with all the complaining. Please, before you guys came, we’ve already done two months of physical labor. Moreover, we’ll be using the points to apply to be taught. If you don’t do the physical labor, how would you be able to get the required points?”

“The content of the courses are all battle-related. I went to check them out briefly, and they are mostly split into two departments, the berserker department and the weaponry department. The berserker department’s training content seems to be guiding the bloodline into a berserk state. I’ve interviewed two players who had learned berserker before, and they said that in that state, they feel that there was nothing they couldn’t accomplish. However, five seconds later, they’d feel so weak as if they were going to die. The huge difference is freaking exhilarating.”

“The training for the weaponry department is plainer in comparison. They are the training for cold weapons, and there are ten instructors, each dealing with ten different cold weapons. Right now, the most popular ones are the spear and battle-ax specialties, while the least popular ones are the bow and iron fist specialties.”

“However, I’m a little curious about this. This seems like a science-fiction game, and I’ve also seen that great scene filled with mechas and battleships. What use would cold weapon training be?”

“Last but not least would be the instructor for us, Wood elves. For some reason, there’s only one instructor for us, and it’s an extremely beautiful lady. She looks like she came out from a painting, and I’m reserving her as my new wife.”

“This lady’s current job is to guide us Wood elves to establish our forms. I still haven’t figured out what this means. After one day of guidance, everyone took on very strange changes. The smallest change was to change from a ball into an oval ball, and those with slightly bigger changes would change directly into a lump of soap.”

“I became something like a lump that was similar to ice-cream. I heard from the instructor that form establishing is a very important process for elves, and different forms would be signs of your future occupations. Therefore, I find this very strange. What occupation would that lump of soap be in the future?”

“I’ll reveal one last piece of news here. The overlord had just announced earlier that there’ll be a large-scale collaborative mission later on, and he’d pick out a batch of players with outstanding training results to take part in it. He didn’t give the concrete criteria for it, but I reckon that I won’t have any chance.”

“Ever since I was stomped to death by the Liver King the other time, my body seemed to have been changed after I came back. I had previously gotten used to projecting my mental energy outward, but now I have to re-adapt to it all over from scratch. I reckon that this game is a zero death system. Once the body is damaged, although you can come back to life, it doesn’t seem that you’d be able to recover the body that you had evolved into previously. Therefore, please be careful when you carry out your missions in the future. Don’t touch things that you shouldn’t be touching when you go out.”

“I’m a very good example of this. I had been the top player amongst the elves, but after coming back to life, my progress can’t catch up to some newcomers. I reckon that I won’t be able to get a chance for this mission. That damned Liver King’s ancestor must be a chicken giblet. I swear that I’ll fight them to the very end for the rest of my life!!”

“Alright, that’ll be it for today. If there’s new progress, I’ll definitely provide updates at the first possible moment. If there’s anything I didn’t mention, I implore the great players in the game to help to correct me. I’ll be heading to look for my wife to get guidance now. See you guys later!”

After Xiye finished reading the post, he continued to scroll downward out of habit. The post had only been out for half an hour, but there were already over 10,000 comments.

[The lost population has finally returned. Damn, you should talk more about it. Are there any requirements for that mage occupation? Would all Developers definitely be able to become lord wizards in the future?]

[That’s right, that’s right. You only said that your instructor is very beautiful. You should give a screenshot!]

[Wow, the screenshot of this train is so cool. Where did they hire the graphic designers from? They are too amazing!]

[The mecha is cooler. Damn, look at the details, the quality. I’ve decided. I’m going to be a mecha warrior. If I have to learn electrical and mechanical services, then so be it. I’ll just treat it as if I’m going through college all over again. Does anyone know if the knowledge about the electrical and mechanical services department in the game is reliable? Can one use them in real life?]

[Old Master, are you sure that the thing you’ve turned into is ice-cream? If it’s shit, then just say it. No one will laugh at you. You said that elves’ occupations will be determined on the form they take on. What would your occupation be? Someone who pushes shit?]

It seemed that there wasn’t anyone who held suspicions about this game’s strange characteristics. After reading through the comments, Xiye nodded in satisfaction. As long as he signed a confidentiality agreement with the Developer players, then he should still be able to conceal the operations like this for a very long time.

(Is this upcoming mission going to be reliable?) Xiye felt a little worried. Based on the A.I.’s calculations, the virus outbreak and civil strife would likely be taking place a month later. The duration of the mission was set at seven days. This meant that players only had half a months to train. Could they really be sent to carry out the mission?

At the thought of this, Xiye started to worry again. Sigh… It was really hard to be a boss…

[1] Kanchō is a prank performed by clasping the hands together in the shape of an imaginary gun and attempting to poke an unsuspecting victim’s anus, often while exclaiming “Kan-CHO!