I Found A Planet

Gao Xiaozhi, male, 23 years old. He was born in a poor farming village, and his highest education level was junior high school. At first, he worked as an ordinary assembly line factory worker with a monthly salary of around $3,000. But now, He was a viral content creator and video host on Dou Yin Videos, with 830,000 fans. He was good at social interaction and dared to participate in various categories. Hence, his monthly income reached around $80,000.

There was a price to pay for getting such a good monthly income. He had to create videos that were of a highly exaggerated nature; something that drew the eyes and made people burst out in laughter. His videos must be able to attract a certain amount of attention. Therefore, he participated in categories like “Lighting firecrackers in the crotch.” His penis was almost burned beyond repair and he could not have sex with his girlfriend for a month.

He had also participated in the category of eating hot chili peppers by consuming a kilogram of ghost peppers in one shot. The peppers were too spicy to the point that he had to be hospitalized. He was entered into the hospital’s “family notification list” for critical patients. It took three days for him to come out of the critical stage.Anything that could attract attention, including bungee-jumping, cliff-walking and other high-risk activities; Gao Xiaozhi had tried all of them at least once.By risking his life for his work, his highest monthly salary topped $200,000!

However, the competition in the market was too strong and there was an increasing number of industry colleagues who worked as crazily as he did. As such, he realized that it was getting harder to make a living via short videos. The number of hits on his videos were decreasing. His earnings were also decreasing steadily. In his situation, he could either spur himself onwards by participating in more thrilling categories, or he could promptly change the style of his videos by creating content that could attract the same amount of attention but involved less risk.

However, he was a video creator with a solid fan base. If he suddenly changed his style, he would definitely lose countless fans at a crazy rate. He could not handle the riskier games. If he did not change the style of his videos, he would probably end up killing himself one day. Actually, he too was afraid of death.

By luck, a robot was presented to him. A series of silly and amusing performances were carried out in his fully paid-for mansion bought on the market. Its antics caused him to laugh in delight.

The salesman said, “I will sell you this robot for $10,000. According to the arrangement with our company, you will release your videos at the same time with other creators. I believe that you know how many comedy videos you can make with this robot.”

“Deal!” Gao Xiaozhi agreed without any hesitation. He was filled with an overwhelming sense of inspiration. This year, he did not have to worry about the lack of material for his video content.

A crafty gleam flickered across the eyes of the salesman. He thought, It’s easy to cheat the uncultured hicks. With your sale, I’ll earn almost $30,000!

From his interactions with internet celebrities, he had realized that besides the few that were slightly smarter, all the rest were dumb. The company did not have to pay them an advertising fee at all. There were even those who gave him money like he had requested them to. With this, he had experienced the terms, “It’s easiest to earn your money from an idiot” and “High technology squashes the illiterate.” Although the salesman truly looked down on internet celebrities like Gao Xiaozhi, he quickly rushed to look for his next “idiot.”

Feeling as if he had gained a treasure, Gao Xiaozhi immediately followed the instructions on the operating manual. He recorded more than 10 satisfactory videos within three days. “Friends and buddies, this is the best cleaning robot in the world; this is my room after cleaning. Friends, is there a lot of rubbish at home after your new year’s celebration? Do you want to get your hands on this cleaning robot?” The scene in the video was a floor that was so clean it could be used as a mirror.

In the video, the robot complained relentlessly, “Wah wah ~ So tiring. When will I finish working? I’m so tired….” The robot cried loudly when its way was obstructed. “Don’t stop me. I still have to mop the floor. Wah wah waaaah ~ ” This scene caused the audience to burst out in laughter. “Wah wah ~ wah wah, I’ve finally completed my work. I can rest now. Wah wah waaah ~” There was a note of release in its delighted tone after it had completed its work.

On the fifthth of the new year, such videos depicting the robot were released en masse for tens of thousands of fans to watch. After watching the videos, the fans responded with enthusiasm:

“Damn, how spotless. My home hasn’t been cleaned for three or four days, it’s dirty as a pigsty.”

“Hahahaha, this robot actually cried. It even says that it’s tired.”

“Amusing; it’s so amusing!”

“Brother Zhi, where did you get this robot? I want one too.”

“Awesome, awesome, awesome…”

“Hahaha, damn it, my stomach hurts from laughing. Brother Zhi, don’t obstruct it from working.”

“What an adorable robot. Where did you get it? I want one too.”

“We’ve just celebrated the new year and you are abusing a poor robot. Host, you’re too much!”

“Brother Zhi, where can I get such a fun robot?”

Besides Gao Xiaozhi, almost 200 other content creators also uploaded their short videos in succession.

“Wah wah wah ~”

“So tiring, so tiriiiing ~ !”

“Don’t stop me, I still have to mop the floor!”

Within a short time, its doll-like crying and complaining voice that was infused with the devil’s charm rang out across the various short video platforms. It attracted a huge amount of attention.

Most of the audiences had these types of responses:

“Wow, the floor is so clean. This robot is so amazing.”

“Hahaha, what a silly robot.”

“Host, where can I buy this robot? I want to get one!”

“Host, send me a purchase link. This is such an interesting robot. As long as it’s under $10,000, I’ll buy immediately!”

At least 30% of audiences, if not more, had revealed their willingness to purchase. About 10% of audiences had demonstrated a strong intention to purchase and had started to search online for links to purchase. Within two to three days, the comedic short videos of “Wa-Wah” were spread like a virus on various short video platforms. They were played at least a few million times. With only a capital of five or six million, Chen Jin achieved the results that he wanted from his first publicity campaign.

But, Supervisor Liang Ying from the sales department still could not understand one thing. She said, “Chief Chen, there is no actual need to spend money on those internet celebrities for advertising. We can register an account on our own and get our staff to record and upload the videos. With the “Wa-Wah” robot’s comedic ability, we can definitely attract many hits!”

Chen Jin shook his head. “Platforms like Dou Yin and Kuai Shou don’t have good ratings from the public. If we directly register an account with them to carry out publicity activities, it will degrade the image of our company. We are a company specializing in technological products; we shouldn’t overtly participate in such vulgar entertainment.” So, these video platforms were just a stepping stone. Chen Jin used them only to save money for his publicity campaign.

Once the company was bigger, stronger and had ample capital, he would not ever consider using this kind of trickery to publicize his products again. Just as the first wave of publicity rolled across the various big name video platforms like a raging flame, the preparations for the “Wa-Wah” robot’s second blast of publicity, which had been underway for a long time, was completed.

…

On Haierfa, at the Base of Operations, in the metal house where the super calculator was placed, Chen Jin asked, “Alice, the videos that I wanted you to make; are they completed?”

“Yes, Master. They are completed. The three films, “Wa-Wah’s Mission”, “Wa-Wah’s Great Battle Against The Landfill Planet” and “Wa-Wah Loves To Cry, But It Is A Hero That Protects Earth” have been completed! The total time of the videos is only 10 minutes, but Alice used half a month to finish rendering.” Alice said in a spoiled and coy manner, “Master, can you let the robots build a few more super calculators with better performance and upgrade Alice’s hardware? Once my operational ability has been increased, I can better help you, Master.”

“Alice, the search squad has been looking. But after searching through more than 10 cities in the south, they are still unable to find a better super calculator. You can be assured that once the base’s search ability has been strengthened, and it can conduct searches in a greater range, I will find a calculator with a better performance and upgrade your hardware.”

Alice smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Master.”

Chen Jin said, “Hmm, send me the 3 videos to my laptop via Wifi.”

Alice had cracked the Wifi communications coding format of the laptop from Earth. The laptop contained 2Tb worth of information relating Earth’s internet technology that had been downloaded beforehand. Alice learned all of the information on the laptop, including the machine language, assembly language and C language. With a firm and thorough grasp of this knowledge, she could connect directly with the calculators and its similar products from Earth, and start data transfers between the two systems.

“Yes, Master!”

After only a few seconds, three short videos appeared on Chen Jin’s laptop.