I Found A Planet

Very quickly, in Merica, at the Washington White House, the statesmen received the “good news” from their ambassador in Z country, Michael. In the meeting room, the senior statesmen were excitedly discussing the matter.

Secretary of State, Edmunds, waved his fist and said, “Good, very good! It seems that our strategy of pressuring them has worked. That company from Z country called ‘Xing Hai Technologies’ has finally yielded! In fact, I have long believed that they will surrender, it is impossible not to surrender! Our power and authority is the greatest on this planet, no one can go against our will!” His depression was swept away and his face was brimming with enthusiasm.

The Minister of Defense said, “Mr. President, we can withdraw our aircraft-led navy battle groups. The officers and men are exhausted to the limit. The ships also require maintenance and repair. They can no longer carry out long-term quasi-combat missions.”

“Withdraw them then.” Dana Trump waved his hand and nodded.

However, the Minister of Energy Resources said, “The intelligent learning machine, the virtual factory, and the work assistant… Mr. President, it’s not enough for Xing Hai Technologies to cough up only these three core technologies. We must get the most essential of their core technologies, the ‘intelligent learning technology.’ Only with that can we be in the same league as Z country… we have to demand that the company hand over this technology.”

“Then take it, take all the technologies that we should take!” Dana Trump said, “Send 100 people along with a sufficient number of hard drives to Xing Hai Technologies. Copy all their technologies and data over. We’ll issue a fine of $10 billion before reaching a settlement with them and lifting the sanctions against Xing Hai Technologies. But, we’ll still ban some of their products from entering the Merican market. This company has done too much harm to Merica, and must be punished accordingly.”

Everyone looked at the president weirdly. Their lips tightened as they felt that this measure was not appropriate. Some form of retaliation was sufficient, there was no need for overkill. If they provoked Xing Hai Technologies again…

Dana Trump maintained his style of “asking for sky-high prices.” He knocked on the table and said, “Gentlemen, This is Xing Hai Technologies admitting defeat and begging for forgiveness, we must not spare them so easily! We must teach this company a good lesson to prevent the emergence of another similar company!”

“What Mr. President says makes sense.”

“Yes, they must be severely punished!”

“This is the last one! I can’t tolerate the emergence of another company like this.”

Everyone agreed in an ass-kissing manner.

Bang bang bang!

An urgent knock sounded on the door.

A female assistant rushed into the conference room and distributed the papers in her hand with some nervousness. She said, “Mr. President, gentlemen, the ambassador in Z country has sent a second urgent document. He said that he received the wrong news. This translated document is the full text of the announcement by Xing Hai Technologies. Gentlemen, please look at them carefully.” After saying that, the female assistant quickly walked out of the conference room, as if to avoid an incoming storm.

Dana Trump and the others were full of confusion. With a puzzled look, he lowered his head and looked down at the documents in his hands. They nodded as they read the first half of the content. There were no problems. The tone of their apologies was very sincere and they reluctantly accepted it.

But, they were all slightly stunned when their eyes swept to the lines of “we have the following requirements for our partners.” Requirements? What right did the company have to make any requirements?

“First of all, we will not collaborate with countries that are fiercely imposing sanctions against Xing Hai Technologies and blocking us…. What?” Dana Trump widened his eyes forcefully. The country that was blocking Xing Hai Technologies, was it not referring to Merica? Will not collaborate with… It meant that they would exclude Merica from the get-go? Dana Trump’s face suddenly grew red. The frequency of his heartbeat and breathing was rapidly speeding up. He got an ominous feeling as he continued to read!

The version of the Little Star learning machine, the virtual factory, and the Work Assistant that would be distributed overseas seemed to be “castrated versions” out of consideration for the costs and level of reception and costs by overseas users. The data and servers would be placed in Z country. They even explicitly state that their products would invade user privacy by collecting user data. Moreover, interested parties had to take the initiative to contact Xing Hai Technologies to apply for collaboration. The recruitment period lasted for only one month. If they could not recruit a partner, they would “reflect” for three years.

After seeing the full announcement, he thought again of the bold and visionary words that he just said. He felt a huge contrast. Dana Trump’s body started to shiver. Soon, he was trembling violently. “Argh!” Suddenly, he roared and shredded the papers in his hands! “F**k! F**k! Recall Michael back to the country immediately and give me a gun. I will shoot him dead with my own hands! And you! If any of you dare to leak what I just said, you’ll die! I will kill you! F**k, f**k!” Dana Trump slammed his fists on his desk and bellowed, almost as if he was in a state of madness.

“I promise to keep my mouth shut, Mr. President.”

“I completely forgot what Mr. President just said.”

“Um, I’m currently attending a private party and have never seen the president.”

Everyone in the scene expressed their agreeable opinions. They even worried that with the president’s age, if he might get a heart attack in his rage and pass away on the spot.

After a long time, the president finished venting his anger. Everyone stared at one another in dismay in the conference room. It was a misunderstanding; a major misunderstanding! Those well-known internet celebrities in Z country and the group of dumb bootlickers did not read the announcement in full. They did not even understand the meaning of the second half of the announcement, yet they could not wait to send celebratory messages with the report of the good news to Michael. What was the actual situation?

It turned out that Xing Hai Technologies was recruiting bootlickers! As the owner of countless bootlickers, the Merican President was used to being on the receiving end of the bootlicking. But now he had to lower his posture and become the bootlicker of somebody else? It was because Dana Trump had a stronger than average heart. Otherwise, he might really have passed away on the spot after 2 more of these misunderstandings. The IQ of the bootlickers was really hopeless. All of them should die horribly.

“Isolate them, increase the intensity of our sanctions! I must let them regret their actions!” After the awkwardness passed, Dana Trump released this ruthless statement.

The meeting ended in a hurry.

…

Turning our attention back to Z country, after Xing Hai Technologies made the announcement that seemed to be a “sincere apology,” it caused a wave of “Hush!” to rise from the netizens. Everyone was paying close attention to this. Would there be bootlickers in the world coming forward to kneel within a month?

Then, three days passed. No activity took place.

Netizens began a heated discussion:

“The conditions for collaboration proposed by Xing Hai Technologies are too harsh. It is impossible for a bootlicker to appear!”

“The overseas products will be castrated versions. The data and servers are all placed in Z country. The service can be cut off at any time. Any bootlickers that accept this offer will be strictly controlled by an external party. No one likes to be controlled.”

“Personal privacy is very important to the West. To them, personal privacy is more important than anything else! Xing Hai Technologies actually said that it will collect user data, which may infringe on user privacy. With this alone, they will not use the products no matter how good they are.”

“Haven’t you heard of this phrase: If it’s for freedom, everything can be abandoned. In the West, freedom is greater than anything else.”

“Big VIP of the industry, I think you should continue to ‘reflect.’”

Netizens were not very optimistic.

However, on the 4th of July, a national institution suspected to be the first “bootlicker” took the initiative to contact Xing Hai Technologies.