I Can Turn into a Fish

The Witch was stunned for a moment at his lucky draw. With an unhappy face, she said, “Truth. Go ahead and ask.”

“666(1), he really has dog sh*t’s luck(2). This guy actually stumbled into the Big King.”

“Impressive, bro—you’re the first to beat the Witch!”

“Please ask what position the Witch likes!”

“I only want to know what type of man the Witch likes! Do I qualify?”

After Chu Xian picked the Big King and won, all the viewers made a riot in the chat and poked fun at the Witch.

“Are you still a virgin?” Chu Xian asked with a smirk.

The Witch was stunned for a moment. Glaring at him, she replied, “You tell me – I’m only eighteen. Of course I am!”

“Eighteen?” Chu Xian asked with disbelief. “You’re eighteen? No way!”

“What? Do you want to see my ID before you believe me? Let me tell you, I’m only a freshman in college; a genuine eighteen-year-old. How old do you think I am?!” the Witch said with an angry huff.

“Ok, ok. I believe you!” Chu Xian said without any sincerity, staring at her confusedly – with at least a C cup and such a great body, was she really only eighteen!?

“Humph! Just you wait,” the Witch said with a glare. “Let’s continue; let me see if you can get so lucky the next time!”

“Then I’ll pick first!” Chu Xian said with a smile of confidence, reaching out and selecting a specific card.

The Witch watched his movements carefully, and as he picked the card, her expression changed. Chu Xian smiled, immediately flipped the card and said, “Sorry, Big King again. Are you still going to pick?”

“No need! I pick truth again!” the Witch said, gritting her teeth with some uncertainty in her heart.

With the roles reversed, Chu Xian mercilessly pressed on, “Who do you fantasize about sexually?”

“No one!” the Witch cried, grinding her teeth and glaring angrily, hating that she couldn’t devour him alive.

Chu Xian was amused by her and asked, “Are you sure there’s no one? When you pick truth, you can’t lie!”

“I am 100% certain!” the Witch said with a miserable expression.

“A great god? Could the Witch have encountered a legendary god of gambling?”

“Picking the Big King twice in a row, this luck is heaven-defying! Brother, if you go *** there’s a chance the prostitute won’t charge you!”

“Haha! Look at Witch’s expression! This guy’s too handsome – he’s the first to ever embarrass the Witch!”

The viewers all responded excitedly to Chu Xian’s second win.

“One more?” Chu Xian asked with a big smile.

“Of course, one more! Don’t think you’re a big shot just because you won twice with luck!” said the Witch, unwilling to back down. She shuffled the cards in her hand.

“Okay then, I’m going to pick first again,” Chu Xian said. With his God’s eye view, he easily located the biggest card and reached his hand towards it.

Even the Witch didn’t know where the Big King was after she shuffled the deck; she only remembered the position of the Small King and the King of Hearts.

Chu Xian picked out the Big King and gestured for the Witch to pick again. The Witch humphed and picked the small king, flipping it over while saying, “I don’t believe you have the Big King now.”

“Sorry to disappoint!” Chu Xian said with a shrug as he flipped the card. “It’s still the Big King. You lose again; Truth or Dare?”

The Witch’s face darkened instantly and grinding her teeth, she said, “Truth!”

“Ok!” Chu Xian said with a smile. “Then I’m going to help the viewers ask a question, ‘What kind of position do you like?'”

“You…” the Witch said, blushing with embarrassment and quivering angrily.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to answer; I won’t force you!” Chu Xian laughed lightly, a little embarrassed at the Witch’s expression.

“Haha, 666. God of gambling – this time the Witch has kicked a rock.”

“I only want to know what position the Witch likes, so I can practice for her and master it!”

“Are you going to practice with a dog? So impressive, baby.”

“I… I,” the Witch stuttered and glared, “I’ve never even had it; you tell me how I’d know what position I like!”

“Heh,” Chu Xian chuckled and decided not to press her any further. “Okay that’s fine, now I’ll ask you a simpler one. What’s your type?”

“As long as he isn’t like you then I’m fine!” the Witch said with a huff.

“Ha,” Chu Xian laughed. “I guess that counts. Do you still want to play?”

“Yes! Of course I’ll play!” the Witch took back the Big King with a glare and shuffled the cards. “This time I pick first,” she said, before immediately picking a card.

Chu Xian looked at the card in her hand and with a smile on his face said, “Since you shuffled, shouldn’t you let me pick first?”

“What? A grown man like you cares about these small things? Are you a man or not?” the Witch said shamelessly.

“I just think it’s a little unfair!” Chu Xian said with a shake of his head. “You shuffled, picked first and just happened to pick the big King. How am I supposed to play? The right way to play is either you shuffle and I pick or I shuffle and you pick. Don’t you think?”

The Witch’s expression kept changing. She was certain now that this man with a slightly shameless smile was a pro, much better than her.

“No way. You have to play with my rules. Hurry up, it’s your turn and you have to pick!” the Witch replied. She had been forced into a corner and could only uphold her position shamelessly.

“You already have the Big King in your hand; it’s meaningless for me to pick. This isn’t fair!” Chu Xian said while shrugging his shoulders in defeat.

“Holy crap, look at the Witch’s expression. Looks like this big bro guessed right – this god of gambling! I can’t believe the Witch just stumbled into a gambling god, so amazing!”

“Haha! Now things are getting interesting. What’s the Witch going to do next? Given her character, this guy is still doomed!”

“I support this big bro! It’s always been the Witch playing others; this time she finally failed and now she’s the one being played.”

All the viewers in the chatroom typed excitedly while the pretty girl with the tablet watched speechlessly.

“Then I won’t play,” Chu Xian said with a firm shake of the head.

“You!” the Witch said, glaring at him, but she was powerless to convince him otherwise. Chu Xian was like a dead pig unafraid of boiling water, reacting to nothing. She’d already acted shamelessly before, and now she couldn’t take it back.

Translator’s Thoughts

Aristophaneso

(1)- So 6 is pronounced liü, which is phonetically similar to another word that basically means smooth, ie. well done. 666 is then slang for incredibly smooth plays. If a game streamer does something really sick then a lot of people spam 66666666.

(2)- “狗屎运 (gǒushǐyùn) – phrase comes from the old society in China when there was not a lot of chemical fertilizer. People had to use human feces as fertilizer to supplement this, but there was not enough poop to go around. So, some people started to use dog shit, and fertilizer had such a high demand that they found they could even sell the dog shit to other farmers for money. The people that could collect more dog shit could make more money. Henceforth, they were dubbed as having “狗屎运 (gǒushǐ yùn) dog shit fortune.” -https://www.echineselearning.com/blog/the-hilarious-chinese-word-you-must-know-for-luck