I Can Turn into a Fish

“In the future, you’ll be Sword Two,” Chu Xian said to Sword Two, not really caring if he understood or not.

After that short session, Chu Xian turned to the basin with the pufferfish. After a quick transformation, he devoured the fish.

“Ding. Devoured Pufferfish, gained Poisonous Body.”

The gift was slightly lackluster – Poisonous Body only made some of his inner organs and a couple other body parts poisonous and he could apparently ingest poison with no problems, but he couldn’t release any poison himself.

It was a defensive gift, and Chu Xian wasn’t thrilled by its potential. If he was ever in a situation where he was getting eaten, poisoning the enemy through his own meat wouldn’t be high up on the priority list.

It wasn’t much, but it was something. It hadn’t taken much effort to gain, and it was unlikely that having too many gifts would ever be a bad thing.

Chu Xian transformed back into human form and took a moment to let his surroundings sink in. He was surrounded by three naked men. He took a moment and smacked his own face; this really would be a moment he’d never be able to explain.

After making a quick recovery, Chu Xian barked out some orders before running over to the compound market. “Alright, don’t go anywhere. I’ll go get some clothes!”

After purchasing three sets of clothes and shoes, Chu Xian made two more stops – one at the library beside the elementary school to buy some books and a Xinhua dictionary and one to pick up some food.

When he returned home, the mermen were all standing in the same position, still naked. Chu Xian shook his head speechlessly. “Put these on. Ah, never mind. Old Huang, let me show you how to put these on. Remember this!”

Chu Xian taught him how to put on the clothes then he suggested tentatively, “You help the others wear theirs!”

To his astonishment, Old Huang worked quickly and helped Sword One and Sword Two into their clothes. Although this picture was really quite beautiful to look at, the most remarkable thing was Old Huang’s learning abilities.

“Okay, here. Come over, I’ll teach you Chinese characters and how to speak. Look at this…” Chu Xian said, swiftly putting on his elementary school teacher hat, beginning with the basics.

“F*cking genius!”

Two minutes later, Chu Xian slapped his thigh and forgot that elementary school teachers didn’t yell curse words at their students. The twenty-six letters he spent a couple months learning were all absorbed and memorized by Old Huang in one go, and he could even repeat them back to him flawlessly.

“If he had more time, Old Huang might become an impressive professor among mermen!” Chu Xian looked Old Huang over with shining and not at all perverted eyes before he continued teaching.

Pinyin, Chinese characters, basic arithmetic … Chu Xian only taught Old Huang for an hour, yet he already understood everything. At this point, Chu Xian could just simply give Old Huang the books and let him study by himself.

“Amazing! Brilliant! Haha!” Chu Xian laughed excitedly and tossed the Xinhua dictionary to Old Huang. He basked in the brilliance of his creation.

When dinner time came, Chu Xian twitched as the three mermen dug voraciously into the food, conveniently forgetting how he himself leveled up in the first place. Each of the mermen ate a twentieth of their weight, and the lightest of the three was Sword One who weighed around a hundred and fifty catties.

If you took a twentieth of a hundred and fifty, you got 7.5 catties. Chu Xian rejoiced in the shameless word count fluff and that the mermen only needed one meal a day. Otherwise, it would take a huge amount of money to feed them.

“Although they’ve been created and are stable, their lack of identities is still a problem. I also need to find a place for them to stay. No doubt the suburbs will be safer.”

“I can easily solve the problem of their identifies with money, and as for a place…!”

Chu Xian thought to himself and decided to buy a villa the next day. Considering the amount of fish he could still rule absolutely, he still had space for eleven more mermen.

Putting them up in one of the compounds wasn’t too safe, at least while the mermen were still bumbling twats, so he needed a place with fewer surrounding people.

Conveniently, there were many villas outside Hai Qing located around mountains or close to the sea, and he had the influence and money to buy one as a mermen home base. If the Avengers ever came knocking, they could just slip into the sea.

Although they had been formed into humans, because of the system, their ability to live in the sea didn’t change at all.

After thinking so much, Chu Xian was satisfied, so he told the three mermen they could sleep on the sofa when they felt tired before he retired to his chambers.

Old Huang, Sword One, and Sword Two were mermen, but some of their more fishy characteristics hadn’t changed. While it wasn’t true that fish never slept, they only slept for very short periods of time, except of course for the fish that hibernated, but they didn’t matter.

While Chu Xian was sleeping, his evil creation mastermind robot, Old Huang, flipped through the Xinhua dictionary, spending less than a minute on each page while still memorizing every word.

Sword One and Sword Two were beginning to grow out of their stupefied states and were looking around and touching things in a perfectly normal and not at all suspicious manner.

Sometime later, Old Huang called out to the completely normal and not at all suspicious pair. “Sword One, Sword Two, come over. I’ll teach you how to study the Xinhua dictionary!”

Chu Xian told Sword One and Sword Two to listen to Old Huang, so they obediently walked over to him.

“Come, repeat after me!’

If Chu Xian had a full bladder, got up to use the restroom in the middle of the night, and just so happened to glance over at the scene, he would’ve been quite startled. His evil genius robot creation Old Huang had only been alive for less than a day, but he could already speak so fluently!

But if he looked more closely and saw that Old Huang was teaching Sword One and Sword Two words from a dictionary, he might’ve cried instead.

As it was, Chu Xian had no problem restraining his bladder that night and instead, woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. After he washed his face and brushed his teeth, he walked out onto the scene of the three mermen.

“You two, read with me. Sword One, you first. Your name is Sword One.”

“Your name is Sword One!’

“When you say it yourself, you should say: ‘My name is Sword One.’ Try again.”

“My name is Sword One.”

“That’s right, and what is my name?”

“My name is Old Huang!”

“That’s you, not me!”

“Oh, you are Old Huang.”

“Pa!” Chu Xian slapped his head audibly and rubbed his face, as he was accustomed to doing in a perfectly normal manner and…. He was a little surprised and a little pleased but also somewhat speechless.

“Old Huang is four or five times smarter than Sword One and Sword Two.” Chu Xian noted, quoting a statistic from his mermen handbook. “He has a genius’s mind but lacks knowledge and experience, and Sword One and Sword Two are like eighteen-year-old young men. They can already learn quite fast.” It had only taken them a night to say their names. They were already turning out to be strapping young men, far above ordinary.

“With this speed,” Chu Xian monologued, “They’ll be able to join society in a couple weeks then they can follow me into the world and definitely not do anything suspicious like trying to conquer it.”

Chu Xian smiled. “It’s too bad there are too few large fish. I’ll need to go to the harbor to buy some more. If I’d known I needed more earlier, I would’ve just spent the fifty thousand to buy the tuna!”

“Come, Old Huang. Come, I’ll teach you how to cook!”

Chu Xian already decided to cultivate his crazy genius robot mermen into a superman as any fine evil mastermind would’ve done. He was planning on making Old Huang study everything.

En, this way, he would have someone to make breakfast for him in the future!