Growing Fond of You, Mr Nian

Luosang was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to figure out so soon that Leng Shuangwei had talked to her. She was planning to go back to Xia City and solve this problem after New Year’s, but since he had asked, she decided to tell him now. “Do you really want me to say it out loud? Don’t blame me if you feel awkward about what I’m going to say,” she said.

“I am a decent man. What is there to be awkward about?” Nian Junting said. He thought for a second and realized that as a man, there was only one thing that he never wanted to mention. However, that secret was well kept, so Leng Shuangwei couldn’t possibly have found out about it.

“You had been having sexual dysfunction before you met me, right?” Luosang asked in a gentle voice. “When you were in the army, that part of your body was injured during a mission.”

Nian Junting was stunned. At this very moment, he felt exactly the same as when the doctor had told him that that part of his body had a problem after he had been sent to the hospital for a checkup after his injury. He was overwhelmed with a complicated feeling that included embarrassment and helplessness. He took a long while to calm himself down, then started feeling upset. “Is that why you left me? You dislike and despise me for that reason?”

Luosang gave a bitter smile. How could she possibly dislike him for that? Even if he was really ill, she wouldn’t care. What she cared about was if he truly loved her or not.

As she stayed silent, Nian Junting panicked. He denied it automatically. “Don’t listen to Leng Shuangwei. I broke up with her seven or eight years ago, so how could she possibly know all that? She’s trying to tear us apart.”

Luosang was disappointed. “You’re still ill,” she continued.

“Nonsense. You know how good I am. It’s you who said that my one time is as good as the others’ seven times. And you said that I always make you tired,” Nian Junting refuted loudly, as if he were trying to persuade both her and himself.

“That’s because your body only responds to me.” Luosang laughed bitterly. “You have a psychological problem.”

“Ha, that’s even more ridiculous. How can I have such a weird illness?” Nian Junting forced himself to laugh.

“I found all the relevant medical records in storage. The latest test was done before we went to Australia. You still had doubts about your condition then, and the test results from the hospital said that you haven’t healed. However, you can do it with me. Nian Junting, how long were you gonna keep this secret from me?”

Nian Junting felt as if he had been stripped naked and seen through. Even being physically stripped would be less embarrassing, at least for a man. As a proud man, he saw his illness as a flaw in his life. He hid those records in the deepest corner, yet she still found them. How had Leng Shuangwei known about all this? Only his parents, Xiao Si, and Doctor Han knew about his illness. Even Nian Xi and Steward Wu didn’t know. His parents couldn’t possibly have told Leng Shuangwei about it, and Doctor Han didn’t even know Leng Shuangwei. So… Xiao Si…

“Junting, I think you should think about this carefully. Are you really in love with me? Or… are you with me because… your body responds only to me.” Luosang stood in the snowfield. Snowflakes fell on her face and made her heart feel cold.

“Am I such a shallow person?” Nian Junting once again refuted loudly, “Don’t you see how I have been treating you?”

“I admit that you’re nice to me, but is it based on our love or sexual partnership? Ever since we had our first time, I’ve been having a strong feeling that you are paying very great attention to sex. You even only care about your own feelings. You never consider my feelings. Seriously, you are a person with such strong needs. If you weren’t ill, would you have been single over the past seven years? If you were healthy, would I ever have had a chance to be with you?” The more Luosang said, the more she wanted to cry. “I just offered you a chance, yet you refused to admit it. Are you feeling guilty?”

Nian Junting didn’t know how to explain. He didn’t admit it because he was too ashamed to. He thought that she didn’t have any proof, so if he denied it, his body reacting to her was the best proof to prove that he was healthy. He didn’t know that she had secretly found out about everything.

“Alright, I admit it. What Leng Shuangwei said is true. I’ve done many tests, and I’m still ill. At first, the doctor said that I might have a psychological shadow, as I was single for so long because of the treatment, and that I was just unconfident. When you gave me a sponge bath and accidentally…”

Nian Junting tried very hard to organize his language. The secret had been uncovered so suddenly, that he even stuttered a little. “If that was the reason why I started a relationship with you, I would have asked you to stay back when you were taking care of me, instead of waiting until we met each other again…”

Luosang interrupted him, “When we met again, you thought I was pursuing you and playing hard-to-get. When I was taking care of you, you didn’t get the time to do an overall checkup, did you? Because your spine was injured. At that time, you didn’t know that your body only reacted to me. You thought you had recovered, didn’t you?”

Nian Junting opened his mouth wide. He didn’t know what to say, as he had thought that way back then.

His silence made Luosang’s heart sink. “Junting, did you propose to me because your body only responds to me? Or was that the main reason? If you are healed someday, will I still be the only one in your heart?”

Nian Xi wanted to be the only one in Ji Chuan’s heart and to marry him for love. Luosang wanted the same thing. No matter how rich and capable and handsome Nian Junting was, she wouldn’t want to be with him unless he loved her with all his heart. The more she loved him, the more she cared about whether he loved her back.

“Luosang, am I such an irresponsible man in your eyes?” Nian Junting said through clenched teeth.

“I know that you are a very responsible man. You proposed to me, and you spent so much money on a ring. I made your company lose a giant sum of money, yet you didn’t even frown over it. No one ever treated me as well as you did. But, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that one day, another woman will show up to heal your illness, and then I will no longer be the only person in your love life.” Luosang closed her eyes to erase that sobbing tone from her voice, then continued, “Maybe even you don’t know how you really feel.”

Nian Junting hurriedly said, “Yes, I know. I can tell the difference.”

“Then let me ask you a question. If your body didn’t respond to me but did to another woman, would you still marry me?” asked Luosang.

Nian Junting was puzzled for a second, then said, “That question isn’t logical.”

Lusoang gripped her phone and said, “Answer my question.”

Nian Junting didn’t know how to answer, maybe because he had never thought about it. He had lots of thoughts in his head now.