Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

“Sigh…”

His silk pajamas draped over him, Jiang He was standing beside the window as he lit himself a cigarette and look out towards the night sky, feeling dull and bored.

“The pepper may be powerful, but the side effect is just so horrible. Moreover, I can’t bring my maid along when I’m outside… let’s see if I could plant some crops that could replace the peppers.”

After running around for most of the night, the sun was almost rising.

Since he was not falling asleep, Jiang He poured himself a cup of rank-nine Origin Fluid, and baked another plate of purple-gold sunflower seeds to munch on as well.

Soon.

It was already day.

Jiang He came downstairs to find that Sora had already prepared breakfast.

As he ate, he suddenly remembered something and said, “Right, I’ll plant some cucumbers for you later. The willow tree Origin Fluid could improve your qi and cultivation too, whereas the rose tree one would strengthen your spirit.”

“Eat and drink anything you need. Improve your ability, or you’ll be falling apart before you get put through the grinder.”

“Yes, master.”

***

Jiang He returned to his farm after breakfast.

Since his cultivation was weak compared to others, he had to strengthen himself through hard work.

Nonetheless, once inside the farmyard, Jiang He’s gaze was promptly drawn to two small weirdly shaped trees.

Both were around three meters tall but did not have many branches or leaves, with only several leaves dangling here and there.

Curiously, however, everything from the tree trunks to leaves were crystalline transparent.

Hexagonal Orirocks the size of a child’s fist was dangling on the many branches. They swayed along with the branches amidst a gust of autumn breeze, colliding and making crisp, melodious clinging sounds.

“Master, master!”

Dumbo ran up to Jiang He with a look clearly currying for goodwill, saying, “I’ve helped you count—there are a total of fifty Orirocks on the trees.”

50?

Jiang He extended his spirit and couldn’t help chuckling, “It’s clearly a hundred. How did it become fifty?”

“A hundred?”

Dumbo stood on its rear legs then and scratched its head with a confused look.

Not bothering himself with the dog, Jiang He reached out to pluck one of the Orirocks.

[Ding!]

[+100 Farm Points]

A System Notification jingled beside his ear.

A single Orirock actually earned Jiang He 100 Farm Points and 10 EXP.

“It’s a little more than I imagined!”

Jiang He appeared delighted.

Since one Orirock was 100 Farm Points, the 100 on one tree meant he would get 10000 Farm Points.

Four trees meant 40000 Farm Points.

It was not much, but…

That meant he had a brand-new idea for earning Farm points.

“The only problem is that there are no markets for Orirocks, and not even most rank-nine martial artists could get them. They would use it for their own cultivation even if they did, so why would they sell it?”

Jiang He mused to himself for a moment before laughing.

No one would sell it.

But what if he exchanged it with his crops?

Others notwithstanding, the eggplants he grew extended one’s lifespan by five years. The effect might not stack, but five years…

Was a very long time.

For a peak-rank nine elite like Long Mountain Lin, he could improve to the next level if he had another five years of life to him, breaking through his limits to reach divine-tier.

Once there, one would gain a lifespan of 200 years…

With such good stuff, did Jiang He had to be afraid he wouldn’t get Orirocks in return?

“When I’m done, I’m off to write a post on Warrior Home, and commission a task at the Martial Arts Department (MAD) as well… I’ll definitely get some Orirocks with that.”

“Moreover… weren’t Orirocks supposed to be found only in heritage sites and Secret Realms? I might try negotiating with the elites of Tantra when I get there.”

Jiang He felt that as long as he had enough Orirocks to plant, he could swiftly accumulate Farm Points, hence rapidly improve his ability to become peerless.

[Ding!]

[+100 Farm Points]

[Ding!]

[+100 Farm Points]

[Ding…]

As System Notifications jingled repetitively, Jiang He swiftly harvested every Orirock on both trees, before glancing at the System.

[Name: Jiang He]

[Cultivation: Immortal Path—perfect Qi-Refinist; Martial Arts—Rank-Eight Pinnacle]

[Ability: Royal Sword, fire]

[Martial Arts Cultivation: Indestructible Diamond (Mastery+), Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms (+), Blind Princess’s Eight Practices (Second Practice+), Strengthened Nine Yang Technique (Fifth Tier+), Ninefold Thunderblade (Third Fold+), Dragon-Elephant Prajna (Fifth Tier+), Nine Stars Heavenly Body Formula (First Tier), Three Thousand Calamities (First Level)]

[Owned Land: 3 Mu]

[Farm Level: 4 (EXP 14800/50000)]

[System Backpack: 18 boxes]

[System Shop: Unlocked]

[Farm Points: 52000]

“Eh?”

“Did I earn so many Farm Points already?”

Jiang He thought about it…

Farm Points should be used when he could, and he could earn more when he’s out.

Therefore…

“System, cultivate Nine Stars Heavenly Body Formula to second tier.”

[Ding!]

[Cultivation failed. Insufficient Farm Points.]

???

Jiang He’s eyes widened at a loss for words. “Screw me,” he cursed, “Fifty-two thousand Farm Points isn’t enough to cultivate the Nine Stars Heavenly Body Formula up to second-tier? Isn’t this System getting more corrupt?”

Still…

Jiang He was soon relieved.

It seems that this was normal.

True, the immortal physique art Nine Stars Heavenly Body Formula only strengthened the body, and might dull in comparison to the Sword Sage cultivation ‘Three Thousand Calamities’ which in turn means cultivating it might be easier…

Even so, the second tier of this skill corresponded to Golden Cinnabar.

Mastery of it at that level meant cultivating his physique to Golden Cinnabar too…

So, it would make sense that 50000 Farm Points was not enough.

“Right… if the second tier of the Nine Stars Heavenly Body Formula corresponds to Golden Cinnabar, then… it should be equal to divine-tier in martial arts, would it not?”

The question suddenly occurred to Jiang He then.

If he really did cultivate Nine Stars Heavenly Body Formula to second-tier mastery, his physical endurance would be enough to take a blow from a divine-tier elite.

When that happened, he might just feel hurt and get a swelling even if an average divine-tier elite’s sword reached him.

On the other hand, the full-power blows from divine-tier elites might penetrate his defenses, would it not?

“Hmmm… maybe they might since the concept of piercing defenses is too general. Breaking my skin counts as that too, though I’m guessing only peak divine-tier elites could really harm me.”

Jiang He felt his enthusiasm waning at that.

A mere martial arts newbie like him and a novice in immortal arts… how could he suddenly feel invincible?

Heh!

Jiang He chuckled self-deprecatingly. “I’m actually advancing…”

Clearly, even his world view was changing.

“I’m cultivating immortal arts now, even obtaining a premium soul weapon in my flying sword… I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me that a cultivator who lived over a thousand years.”

Jiang He looked up at the horizon then.

Cultivators aside, the extraterrestrial sky demon would not be an easy opponent.

“Eh?”

And yet, another idea occurred to Jiang He when he remembered the Sky Demon Cult.

“If I remember correctly, that Fourth Elder wearing zebra-patterned mage robes mentioned that if the sky demon really were coming, it would be from the Stargate that’s near Lingzhou City?

“So, if I could find the Stargate, I’ll stuff hundred thousand tons-yield worth of nuclear bombs into it when the sky demons come… would that stop them?

“Hmmm…”

“Nuclear bombs might not work, since with the usual settings, stargates would cause a massive disturbance, and everything from electronics to nuclear bombs are rendered useless.

“But…”

“What if I could plant a crop which could compare against a nuclear bomb of a hundred-thousand-ton yield?”

Jiang He pondered.

Would it blow up?

Of course!

But the key here was how the heck would he plant a crop that had the might of a hundred-thousand-ton yield nuclear bomb?

“Forget it. Why think about that stuff?”

“I’ll just have to stick to my farming, and I just might plant something like that by luck… even if I couldn’t, I am still a novice immortal. Would it not make sense that I learnt something like sword array then?”

“I just have to lay my sword array over at that Stargate thing then.”

Jiang He thought about many things.

There was no helping it…

It was already established that the sky demons were backing the Sky Demon Cult behind the scenes, and that he had now developed a grudge against the Sky Demon Cult. Therefore, the sky demons were definitely coming after him when they arrive. So, instead of having to be afraid of being assassinated, surrounded, or ambushed and being afraid day after day, why should he not plan ahead and kill everyone the moment they arrive? Would that not resolve the problem in its entirety?

He then looked beside him.

Dumbo was stretching its claws and counting…

“38, 39, 40… 50, 50, 50, 50…”

Jiang He was rather moved at the dog’s look of concentration… no wonder Dumbo was smart enough to speak the human language even before it was rank-seven—everything was connected to its diligence and willingness to learn.

Trumbo, on the other hand, was still snoring away above the grave of the Sentinel of the Right.

But something was strange—why was Dumbo repeating 50 after reaching that number?

“Alright, wake up. You two are going to the city with me. Bring along the sunflower stems, we’ll see if we could craft a weapon out of it.”

Since Dumbo and Trumbo could learn martial arts, equipping them with weapons would definitely improve their fighting ability.

They were his pets watching his house anyway, which was why Jiang He intended to give them a fine grooming. He certainly couldn’t do everything personally, could he?

When Dumbo and Trumbo’s abilities improved, both cat and dog would easily get rid of the minions of the Sky Demon Cult or the sky demons.

Meanwhile, Dumbo carried a sunflower stem to Jiang He, who put it inside his System Backpack.

He stepped out of the farm and called to Sora, saying, “I’m running an errand in the city… by the way, I’ve already planted the cucumbers, and they’d be ripe when I get back. Also, you don’t have to prepare lunch—let’s have a giant prawn later.”

After that, as Jiang He climbed into his sports car, Dumbo and Trumbo leaped up to ride shotgun.

Then, cat and dog almost started fighting for the seat!

“Shut up!”

Jiang He barked with a scowl, and both pets promptly became quiet. With that Dumbo rode shotgun, while Trumbo fastened the seatbelt over the dog before perching on top of its friend.

At Jiang He’s voice command, the sports car soon sprinted towards the Lingzhou city MAD.

Jiang He headed straight to the old blacksmith’s workspace, had a trifling conversation with the old man before saying, “Old timer, I’ve actually come to you today so that you help me forge a wok…”

“The wok must be heatproof, and it’s best if it could withstand higher temperatures…”

After some thought, Jiang He then added, “And it must be large… is it possible to make it fifteen-meters wide?”

After all…

The giant rank-seven crab that he killed was around thirteen meters, and it couldn’t be cooked if the wok was too small.