Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Eight in the morning, the 27th of September.

Duan Tianhe, who had worked overnight stretched his body and took a sip of warm tea from his thermos flask.

Pfft!

Spitting out the wolfberry he inadvertently drank, he then checked the time and headed to the bed of the small room adjacent to his office.

He could afford himself a two-hour-rest with the matters at hand seen to.

For him, sleep was now already a luxury given the exceedingly numerous task he had to do every day.

However, just as he was about to fall asleep, a WeChat video call arrived.

It was Jiang He.

Circulating his True Qi to dispel his drowsiness, Duan Tianhe sat up on his bed, answered the call, and chuckled, “It’s still way too early in the morning, Jiang He. Why are you calling me?”

“What do you mean, early?”

Over at the end of the call, Jiang He was sitting crossed-legged on his sports car, a piece of bread in one hand and a cup of milk in the other. “It’s already eight and the sun’s rising. How is that early?”

The corner of Duan Tianhe’s lips twitched.

‘That line feels weird when you’re the one who says it, Jiang He… you sleep until wake up naturally every single day, and still complain that your sleep is terrible. Do you want the life of a person like me, who works 24 hours per day?’

On the other hand, Jiang He did not care for all that.

He took a bite out of his bread and had a sip of milk, even as his sports car continued on steadily with its unmanned system.

Staring at his phone which he kept on the phone holder, he asked, “Old Duan, well… does the Martial Arts Department (MAD) have gold?”

“Gold?”

Duan Tianhe shook his head, saying, “You should need to head to the jewelry shop for that stuff. Why would the MAD have gold?”

“Fine.”

Jiang He then added, “Has Deputy Zhou returned? When would the three rewards I picked be sent to me?”

In fact, he made this call mainly for this matter.

The awards Jiang He had picked was the mystic item ‘Broken Sword’, a rank-seven floral spirit that aided spirit… and a handful of sunflower seeds!

The sunflower seeds were the same ones that Mu Wanqiu had promised him.

It was said that the MAD and the Superpower Research Department had jointly discovered the sunflower, harvested it, and split it between them. Knowing that sunflower seeds were easily carried around and could be eaten anytime, anywhere, Jiang He thought that having more would be better.

“Deputy Zhou had returned. I’ll urge him if you’re in a hurry.”

“I’ll be counting on you then, Chief Duan.”

Jiang He was not being particularly polite.

What was there to be polite about his own award?

Hence, he continued to drive down to Lingzhou City. Interestingly, he was stopped again—and by the same traffic policeman last time. This time, however, he did not say much, and smiled, “Mister Jiang, may I take a picture with you?”

“You know me?”

Jiang He was rather taken aback.

Nonetheless, he got down and took a selfie with the traffic policeman, who saluted him primly after he returned inside, saying, “Thank you for everything you’ve done for Lingzhou City, Mister Jiang.”

Tapping his chest, he then assured him, “From today onwards, your car may go on any lane you want. I’ve contacted my colleagues in various divisions so that they remember your car and plate number.”

Despite his delight, Jiang He said, “That’s not good, is it? I don’t have a license… and I don’t have a car plate either!”

The traffic policeman came to a realization then.

That’s true, how was he supposed to note the plate number when there was no plate?

After thinking about it, the traffic policeman suggested, “Could you give me your number, Mister Jiang? I’ll help you solve the matter of car plates and driving license.”

“No way!”

Jiang He said reasonably, “You are a public servant of the traffic division. How could you break the law in my stead?”

Was he joking?

And would this car need a license anyway?

As a matter of fact, Jiang He wanted to change cars.

Aside from having every function he could think of when he is in the driver’s seat, there was nothing good about this car. And what good were its Transformers mode, Vulcan minigun, and laser sword? It was only a rank seven.

It did not run faster than himself either.

“Maybe I should plant a plane?”

“Forget it, planes are too dangerous and it’s said that there are too many flying Ferals, which would make planes an easy target… The broken fragment of the flying sword might be better though, although there is no telling whether I could plant it. If it does, I would move around on it.”

Soon, Jiang He parked his sports car outside a shop named ‘Old Prosperous Phoenix’. Interestingly, there was a ‘Blissful Zhou’, which sold gold and jewelry too.

They must have just opened since there were no customers inside. The workers there were yawning away, and clearly did not have a good night’s sleep.

That left Jiang He feeling earnest envy.

Just look at them, being so drowsy and looking as if they could sleep at any moment if they were given a bed. He on the other hand was brimming with spirit every day, and could only doze off after staying up to four in the morning.

Suddenly, a gasp of surprise could be heard.

“Wow, that man’s so handsome!”

All at once, the entire jewelry shop was abuzz.

A group of female attendants who had been yawning incessantly had twinkles in their eyes, winking at Jiang He flirtatiously when they saw the sports car he had parked outside.

Jiang He quietly put on a disposable mask in response and cut straight to the point. “Where’s your boss? Tell him to come.”

In no time at all, a pudgy middle-aged man came to him.

Skipping to the point again, Jiang He asked, “What’s the price of gold now? How much do you have stored? I want everything… by the way, only pure gold!”

The middle-aged man appeared taken aback, and said, “We have over three thousand pure-gold jewelry items…”

“Don’t tell me how many there are. Just count it by catties.”

Jiang He waved him off, saying, “I’m very busy, so count it right away. I’ll have every piece of pure gold you have and would buy them according to market value—no worries, I wouldn’t miss a cent.”

With that, he stepped out of Old Prosperous Phoenix and went to Blissful Zhou and asked for the same thing.

Gold prices had inflated severely with the ‘chaos’ at the moment, and was now priced at 500 dollars per gram, which meant a catty of gold was worth 250,000 dollars.

Later, Jiang He managed to gather 90 catties of pure gold jewelry, including necklaces, rings, earrings, and bangles.

Having enough gold, what was next was melting it down.

That was easy.

Jiang He drove off to the MAD, found the old blacksmith and asked with a smile, “Old man, I’m here again. I have something I need your help with.”

As he spoke, he whipped out a pack of cigarettes and passed him two fine beers.

The old man did not accept it, however, saying that Duan Tianhe had instructed him not to charge Jiang He.

Jiang He chuckled. “It’s not much, old-timer. These beers and cigarettes don’t cost much, and it’s a token of my gratitude… I won’t ask for your help if you don’t accept them.”

As such, the old blacksmith had to receive it.

Hence, Jiang He poured out the pile of pure-gold jewelry on the floor, saying, “Please help me smelt this gold into gold bullions, one catty each.”

The blacksmith gaped and could not help exclaiming, “Did you go on a grand theft auto?”

“How much could I even earn from robbery?”

Jiang He was at a loss for words.

In fact, how much cash could he steal even if he robbed a bank?

For him, killing Ferals and planting some crops were more profiting than robbing banks now.

“That’s true. You are Jiang He, after all… why would you need to steal?”

The old man lit one of the cigarettes and took a few puffs as he quickly built a mold. Then, with a wave of his hand, a pitch-black hammer rose to the air…

Whoosh!

The flames over the hammer ignited, quickly melting the jewelry into liquid gold.

Under the old man’s control, it was then poured into the mold and forming one bullion after another.

Jiang He stood at the doorway and had a cigarette himself, when a gasp of surprise could be heard, “Mister Jiang?”

Jiang He turned, frowning.

It was a beautiful woman with a fine figure wearing a tracksuit. She had black-rimmed glasses and looked quite familiar, although Jiang He could not remember what her name was just then.

“And you would be…?”

The tracksuit beauty appeared displeased and snorted. “Hmph. Important people really have short memories, don’t they? Mister Jiang…”

“Oh…”

Jiang He slapped himself on the forehead, saying, “Well, if it isn’t Chief Wu? I couldn’t recognize you with your clothes on.”

Pfft.

In his work space, the old blacksmith almost laughed out loud.

Wu Yueru stamped her feet at that and spat, “Bleh, what a thug!”

She turned and stormed off.

“What the heck?”

Jiang He was utterly confused.

‘Was it something I said?

‘I didn’t say anything wrong, did I?

‘You’ve always been dressed in office lady fashion and could not be sexier, though now I couldn’t recognize you when you suddenly put on a tracksuit.’

Another set of laughter could be heard then, and Jiang He turned to find Wang Siyu standing beneath a willow tree nearby.

When she saw that Jiang He was looking at her, she lowered her head by reflex, tucking her hair behind her ear.