Chapter 36 - Warm Colour
So it has something to do with her? This person, perhaps she underestimated his feelings. But then again, when Terashima Yuhi confessed to her, Sumire was not ready at all. He confessed to her so abruptly last year, and it shocked her. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that Terashima Yuhi liked her of all people. Even now she found it hard to believe.
In a few year's time, the things that worry her today will probably seem so small. So insignificant, that it will make her laugh at her past self. But to her current seventeen-year-old self, those problems cover her entire world.
She always knew that if she broke out of her shell, all the lies she had piled up would come back and haunt her. Sumire takes a deep breath; in the process, she saw Yuhi looking at her. That's right; today, she won't hold back. The moment you have been waiting for has come at last. He probably knows too - and that's why he's staring at her. Hurting people and getting hurt are still so scary to her. However, she isn't going to cry about it anymore.
She wants to get stronger. Sumire buried her face in his chest and mumbled. "Will you let me fall in love with you?"
It was a question that had been on her mind since she came here. But she felt conflicted. "It will take time." She quickly added. "Right now, I still can't enter a relationship with anyone, even friendships are difficult. But I want you to stand by my side. Asking you something like this is very selfish, but I want you to wait for me, Yuhi."
"Your so silly, Sumire. You don't have have to ask me to wait."
Sumire looked at him with wide eyes.
"I will wait for you." Yuhi placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Forever."
Sumire sighed. "Forever is too much if you wait that long you will turn old and grey."
Yuhi chuckled. "Would you no longer like me?"
"Well, even if I am a modest person, I won't deny liking handsome faces."
"So, I'm handsome now?"
"You always were handsome, perfect height, good at cooking, and studies. Honestly, you're the perfect guy."
Yuhi is perfect; what is there not too like? Sumire knew the more time she spent with him, the more things she finds that she likes. The only issue is, "Say Yuhi, what about those girls?"
Sumire is the type of person who dislikes such petty conflicts.
"Don't worry. I will handle the rest."
"How many keys did you give out?"
Yuhi looked away. "Well, let's not talk about that dull topic. The nurse said you're anemic, do you want to eat something sweet?"
Sumire shook her head. "I would rather not." Her sentence fell short when she felt a throbbing pain in her eyes. She placed her hand there, puzzled. Lately, her eyes hurt a lot. A throbbing sensation, no burning sensation, like a flame. Is this what Atushi mentioned to her before? He told her he would leave to go abroad to try and fix this problem; however, it seems he did not find anything. He would have said something otherwise.
"Sumire?"
"Nothing."
Even though it is painful not allowing him to say those words, not allowing him to say what is on his mind. It must be painful. Sorry, but in the end, between the two of us, there really cannot be anything more than this even though he is so very dear and important. Even though he is more important than anybody else, that importance cannot turn out to be feelings of love. Your color is the prettiest. She wasn't lying at all when she said those words to him.
She asked him if it was okay for her to fall in love a few minutes ago. But Sumire was not confident. She did not know whether she could fall for him. For the longest time, her world revolved around the person named Tsueno Mamoru.
For the past few minutes, Sumire noticed that Yuhis eyelids were slowly closing, so when he fell asleep, it did not surprise her.
A lion…
Atushi said that, right? Sumire observed Yuhi carefully. When Yuhi falls asleep, he looks like a tamed lion. Usually, the aura around him is frightening and intimidating. She understood where the yakuza rumors came from. But even when Yuhi is like that, Sumire never saw him as frightening.
Yuhi's color is black.
It is not like Ru's red.
Sumire knew that all too well that the two differed from one another.
Yet, regardless of that, there was something about it that attracted her to it. There was something that drew her in.
Was it because she always found the bright colors of the world blinding? Was it because it was always something she saw too?
Even now, she did not have the answer to that, but Sumire no longer minded. Even though it is a dull colour, even though it is plain and usually associated with negative things. She was drawn into his darkness and loneliness. It is warm, almost like her very own flame and yet so very sad.
Yuhi has his problems and darkness to deal with. But ever since she arrived here, she did not see him break down even once. It worried her, but she was relieved at the same time. The current her cannot help him; she is far too weak.
Sumire edged closer, and Yuhi tightened his hold around her. Sumire blinked when she realized he was suddenly awake. "Sorry, did I disturb you?"
"No." Yuhi shook his head. "But, I think you should sleep too, Sumire."
Her gaze softened. "I think I'm becoming lazy too. I want to stay here and not attend the rest of the class."
Yuhi lips curve to a small smile. "Let's skip for today and sleep. Don't worry about people interfering, I locked the door and put a sign."
Sumire laughed. "So silly."
"Sleep well, Sumire."