Chapter 305 - What Makes Us Who We Are
"Before I met you?"
Hearing Shangguan Bing Xue's question, who was looking at him with incomprehension written all over her usually indifferent face, Bai Zemin smiled slightly and calmly replied, "You met me that day when the Soul Record appeared in this planet and the world changed, didn't you?"
"Yeah..." Shangguan Bing Xue nodded, and a moment later, her eyes widened slightly as she finally understood what he meant.
Indeed, Bai Zemin pointed out, "That's why I previously said what I said. Even though you only met me a little over a month ago, I knew you before that."
As with Wu Yijun's case, Shangguan Bing Xue and Bai Zemin were two people living in two completely different worlds. The situations of both of them and the lives they were attached to differed so much that had it not been for the intervention of a seemingly supreme existence like the Soul Record, the destiny of both of them would definitely never have crossed.
They were like two perfectly parallel lines. While one walked on the right side, the other walked on the left; in between was a seemingly thin line, but so powerful that under normal and "natural" circumstances it could never be broken.
Even if one of them was aware of the existence of the other side, in this case, Bai Zemin being aware of Shangguan Bing Xue's existence, the thought of trying to contact the other side would never be something they would think of.
Especially on Shangguan Bing Xue's side, and she was aware of the reason. After all, family background aside, she was basically the brightest star in all of Beijing University.
Not only the number one beauty but also the highest ranking in terms of grades and in addition to being the president of the student association, she was basically the representative and voice of every student in the entire institution.
Bai Zemin didn't mind the matter too much and continued, "The thing is, this girl who caused me to unconsciously ask you if you had a sister opposite you, only met with me shortly before I met you."
"I see..." She nodded. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before finally gritting her pearly teeth and saying, "If you don't mind, may I ask if you like that girl? Maybe love?"
"Uh?" Bai Zemin was stunned for a second before bursting out laughing.
His laughter was loud enough to attract the monsters' attention, but the pressure of two existences that had absorbed the Soul Power of dozens of First Order beasts and even a Second Order one was not something a casual monster would dare to challenge. Therefore, even if Bai Zemin laughed until his stomach hurt, it was unlikely that anyone within the area of the forest they were currently in would take the initiative to attack them.
Bai Zemin laughed for several seconds until he finally saw a slight frown on Shangguan Bing Xue's face that slowly forced him to control himself.
"Sorry about that...." He apologized with a big smile before saying indifferently, "In fact, to be honest with you, I think that if at some point I were to decide that it is time to start a relationship with a girl, she would most likely be my number one target... This is because she is the only one who has proven herself worthy of my trust. As for the rest... I honestly don't trust much in declarations of love and sweet words from any woman."
There was no shame in Bai Zemin's words, he was also not worried about whether Lilith heard his previous statement. He simply spoke his thoughts and feelings straight and honestly; it was definitely not something to be ashamed about.
Besides, it wasn't like he was declaring his love for Lilith or anything similar. All he was doing was explaining that in case he ever had a target to love, that target was already practically written in stone.
As to whether or not such a thing would happen, it was yet to wait and see. After all, the future was mysterious and unfathomable.
"..." Shangguan Bing Xue remained silent and looked him straight in the eyes. It was only after a long time that she finally said amidst a small sigh, "I can feel the caution in your heart... Were you hurt in the past?"
Although she did not expect him to answer since such matters usually carried a wound that no one wanted to talk about or let others know about, she simply could not help but ask. She felt that perhaps, in that way she would be able to understand many things with relative ease.
Bai Zemin's face remained impassive without any change, and his eyes, which were said to be the gates of the soul, did not reflect the slightest emotional fluctuation when he said: "Indeed, a girl hurt me in the past. But all that is now all behind, there is no more hatred or pain in me. Actually, if I ever had the chance to meet her in this life, I would most probably thank her for what she did to me back then."
"I cannot understand your thoughts." Shangguan Bing Xue shook her head and her hair tied in a ponytail swished gently. "Shouldn't you feel anger when someone hurts you or betrays your trust?"
"...Mmm... How do I explain..." Bai Zemin raised his head to look at the small glimmers of moonlight that occasionally filtered through the gaps in the dancing leaves, and after a moment he remarked, "Feeling anger for a while is normal... But I think there's no point in getting angry at something from the past. Come on, our past is what makes us who we are. Unless we ourselves are dissatisfied with our personality, then I don't think we should feel such great anger or hatred toward those who did us wrong."
He finally lowered his head and looked her straight in the eye before saying with a slight smile filled with inner peace, "I love myself. I am satisfied with the way I am and I don't see the need to change anything. It is thanks to this way of being that I was able to meet many good people, and it is thanks to the way I am today that I am where I am... To feel anger towards those who formed my current self would be like feeling dissatisfied with myself. Therefore, I don't hate that girl."
Shangguan Bing Xue's sky blue eyes shivered violently and her breathing stagnated for a second as her mind processed what he had just said.
Bai Zemin naturally noticed the huge change in the woman in front of him and naturally felt the emotional change in her heart through her eyes. However, after thinking about it for a moment he decided to pretend he didn't see anything and chuckled as he said, "Well, even though I don't hate her, it's not like I cherish her either. I'm not such a good person after all... Let's just say that her existence to me is like that of a person you meet on a normal day and cross paths with, glance at once or maybe twice... but then continue on your own way without looking back."
"..." Shangguan Bing Xue lowered her head slightly and her gaze was lost as she looked at her normal grade treasure boots.
Bai Zemin knew that she was going through an important moment for her, so he simply stayed in silence as he calmly looked at her; waiting for her to be able to find the answer that perhaps she had been searching for a long time.
The wound that Shangguan Bing Xue hid in her heart turned out to be quite deep, as even after more than thirty minutes, she still seemed to be fighting against herself.
But Bai Zemin waited.
Although time was precious, if his words could help a person who was probably to become his most important general for the rest of his life, then he was more than willing to invest several tens of minutes.
He was well aware that many times it was those invisible ties that lived inside our hearts that in the end became our worst nightmares; nightmares that without us realizing it, little by little bound us more and more tightly until it reached a point where it became completely impossible to take a step forward.
Therefore, it was better to free ourselves from those knots and break the ties as soon as possible.
After an unknown period of time, Shangguan Bing Xue finally raised her head to look at him, and Bai Zemin was surprised when he found that those beautiful pair of usually sharp and ice-cold blue eyes were now far softer and even slightly warmer.
"Even though I can't completely agree with your way of thinking, let me thank you with all my heart."
The following surprised Bai Zemin even more.
After saying such kind of words, Shangguan Bing Xue actually moved away from the tree on which her body weight was resting, and bowed before him. Although it was not a 90-degree bow, that slight bow alone had a value of which probably very few were aware.
But Bai Zemin was aware of the value of that slight bow... Because although he did not truly know who the woman named Shangguan Bing Xue was, he did know enough about her to be able to say with certainty that she was an extremely arrogant person and proud enough to disdain feeling disdain towards others.
"You..." Bai Zemin unconsciously wanted to take a step back, forgetting that there was nowhere to retreat to as behind him was the giant tree.
Shangguan Bing Xue only remained slightly bowed for a second or two before straightening up. But when her back finally straightened completely, she looked into his eyes with a faint smile.
Her smile was quite different from any other smile Bai Zemin had so far seen on her face... It was a grateful and real smile that came from the bottom of her heart, a smile that contained a bit of unfamiliar but reassuring relief.
Seeing the incredibly surprised expression on Bai Zemin's face and how his eyes were wide open as he looked at her as if he was staring at a ghost in broad daylight, she chuckled and unconsciously joked, "Why? You didn't expect someone arrogant and proud like me to ever be willing to bow down?"
"Yes... Well..." Unconsciously, he nodded and pointed out in slow motion, "Besides, I'm a man after all..."
Shangguan Bing Xue smiled with a hint of bitterness this time after hearing his last words, "You probably think I hate all men, don't you? Well... I can't say I don't feel some adversity towards the male gender in general... But it's not the kind of hatred you imagine. At the very least, I'm someone capable of distinguishing between a good men and a bad men."
"Good men and bad men?" Bai Zemin repeated without knowing what else to say.
In the world, there were naturally good men and bad men just as there were also good women and bad women... But who decided who was good or who was bad, was oneself.
For some, a certain person could be bad, but for others, that same person could be good.
Bai Zemin believed that such things varied too much to talk about.
However, Shangguan Bing Xue naturally did not think the same way he did.
"That's right. Good men and bad men." She nodded, and after looking deeply at him for a moment, she said with absolute certitude, "As for you, you are definitely a good man!"
Bai Zemin's mouth opened very slightly, so slightly that it was imperceptible due to the darkness of the place. His eyes stared at her but at the same time seemed to be dazedly staring at a fix point.
Bai Zemin was never a person who received many compliments from people other than his family, but this compliment was completely different from any other. Moreover, the emotion with which it was said and the meaning behind it was also completely different.
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