Chapter 1083 Sacrificial Love & Possessive Love(Part 2/2)
“However, I am not a normal woman.” Lilith looked at Shangguan Bing Xue with cold eyes as she said in an even colder voice, “Unlike you who has everything, I lost everything many years ago. Yes, sure, you didn’t have parental love but so what about that? you had the love of a wonderful mother by your side for most of your life, and at some point in your childhood you stopped caring and worrying about not having a father’s love.”
“I lost it all when I was around your age, and from that time until not long ago I never felt love from anyone again. As the years went by I thought I had stopped caring about such things…but when I met Bai Zemin and began to care about his well being and his opinion of me I discovered that I wanted to be appreciated by him.” Lilith continued in a flat voice: “Now you answer this and you will have the answer to all your questions… I, a person who lost everything years ago and now is finally loved again, do you think I will be happy sharing the heart of my beloved? Hm? Higher Existences can be very, very greedy… particularly those like me.”
Lilith had lost all affection and love many years ago, but it had all returned thanks to Bai Zemin. It was more than obvious that she wanted to take his heart and love all for herself, just as it was obvious that somewhere in the corner of her heart she feared that all the affection he felt for her would disappear for some reason or another just like it had happened before.
Shangguan Bing Xue’s face remained impassive as she pushed: “If that’s the case then why do you keep pushing him to create memories and good times with other women? Even pushing him into complex situations that you know will end up creating moments where close physical contact between him and other women like me or Yijun is inevitable.”
“That’s something you won’t understand even if I explain it to you with drawings or play dough.” Lilith chuckled and shook her head, soon returning to her fun and playful self. “My love for Zemin is not something you or anyone else can understand. Even he can’t come to understand an ounce of how great my love for him is… When you love as much as I do you do things for the other person, for their well being, even if it’s something you don’t like or don’t want.”
Bai Zemin’s eyes flashed with sadness as he said softly while taking her small hand between his, “You… you really are silly. I told you a thousand times that I want to reciprocate your love and love you the same way you love me…”
He wanted to say that he didn’t need more partners than her in this life, but Bai Zemin was no longer the same insensitive young man as before. With Shangguan Bing Xue making her feelings for him 80% clear, the least Bai Zemin wanted was to hurt her by using insensitive words.
Lilith simply used her thumb to stroke one of his hands but said nothing.
She and Shangguan Bing Xue stared at each other in silence for a few seconds before the white-haired beauty opened her mouth.
“Sorry, but I don’t share your way of thinking. However, I don’t think my feelings for him are any less than what you feel.” She shook her head.
“Oh?” Lilith raised an eyebrow before chuckling and shaking her head, “I really don’t wish you any harm, but your level of innocence is too much… You know? You should be very thankful that you have Zemin around you, it’s thanks to him that you can keep thinking like that and saying such childish words.”
“I know that.” Shangguan Bing Xue nodded. She looked at Bai Zemin, and the distance and nobility in her eyes soon turned to practically naked gentleness as she said tenderly, “I know it was he who saved Yijun, I know it was he who saved my mother, I know it is thanks to him that I can continue to be me without pretending to be someone else or changing my ways to suit this new lawless regime.”
She turned her attention back to Lilith and said in an indifferent voice, “That’s why I can’t share your thoughts… Bai Zemin is not a cake that can be cut and divided among several people. He is one person, and both he and his heart should be complete by nature.”
“Is that so? Then what do you propose?” Lilith asked curiously.
‘ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ NoVELBIN. ᴄᴏᴍ.’,
“There is not much to propose.” Shangguan Bing Xue shook her head. She took a step forward, and ignoring the fact that Bai Zemin was holding Lilith’s hand she reached out her delicate hand to caress his confused face as she said in a gentle voice, “I alone can make him happy enough that he doesn’t have to divide his attention among several women.”
“… Is it me or did our second-in-command’s personality become way bolder?” Nangong Lingxin whispered in Kang Lan’s ear, who nodded silently with her eyes fixed on the three people before them.
This was the first time Feng Tian Wu had seen Lilith therefore she was certainly astonished. However, her focus soon split in half with Shangguan Bing Xue and when she heard her words she subconsciously made an unreadable and incomprehensible grimace.
Chen He looked at his childhood crush’s hand caressing Bai Zemin’s face, and upon hearing her words making it more than clear what her feelings were he could not deny that he felt a sharp stab of pain in his chest. However, it did not hurt as much as it would have hurt before, and this alone was something he thought was worth celebrating.
Little Bai Shilin was the only one who didn’t understand what was going on here. She bit her left thumb and her beautiful night-black eyes darted back and forth between her parents trying to catch up with the adults since she was a big girl after all.
Lilith could barely contain the urge to burst out laughing, but her expression became quite interesting as she looked at Shangguan Bing Xue with an amused smile, “So… you think you alone are more than enough for him? Little baby, you couldn’t even leave him half satisfied in bed so what makes you think you can give him the love he needs amidst all the difficulties he faces? Until not long ago, you didn’t even know that he was burdened with the awareness of knowing that he would face the Leaders of all life in the universe… but you think you are enough?”
Shangguan Bing Xue retracted her hand and took a step back before looking at Lilith and shaking her head, “Of course not. I know that my current self is not enough for him, and that is why I will work harder to become a worthy partner to be by his side. A good enough one that he won’t need anyone else.”
“… It seems this new class of yours boosts your confidence and pride… almost as if-” Lilith paused and her eyes suddenly sparkled as if she understood something. Then, she smiled, “I see. I get it better now.”
Lilith did not continue but returned to the topic, “So, according to your words you don’t want Bai Zemin to divide his attention nor his love among several women?”
“I think that is the most correct thing to do.” Shangguan Bing Xue nodded calmly.
Lilith smiled and said gracefully, “In short, are you willing to let Little Sister Yijun suffer all eternity in loneliness?”
Indeed, just as Lilith expected some hesitation shone in Shangguan Bing Xue’s eyes. However, to her surprise, that hesitation soon disappeared and her next words surprised her considerably.
“Yijun… I will talk to her about it. I will then judge whether what she feels is true love, and I will also judge whether her love is high enough to consider her a rival or not.” She looked at Lilith calmly and said indifferently, “Your trick of bringing up Yijun’s name will no longer work on me so you can save yourself the trouble.”
It was then that Lilith realized two things regarding the woman in front of her.
First of all, Shangguan Bing Xue had completely accepted and assimilated her feelings for Bai Zemin. She was no longer ashamed or afraid to express them openly in front of him; at least not when Lilith, her greatest rival in love, was present.
Second and more important than the first point, the class Shangguan Bing Xue had just acquired after evolving made her noble and proud enough to be unwilling to share her beloved with anyone else.
Bai Zemin sighed, and for some reason felt a huge headache coming on.
“Bing Xue… are you sure what you feel towards me is love? It could be admiration or even gratitude, you know that too don’t you?” he said as he looked into her eyes for any sign of doubt.
Unfortunately or fortunately, Shangguan Bing Xue did not hesitate as she looked at him and said, “I, Shangguan Bing Xue, did not know until a few hours ago how strong my feelings for you were… But now that I know I won’t hesitate anymore, I don’t want to live with any regrets.”
Bai Zemin stared at her with a bitter smile and said shaking his head, “Sorry, Bing Xue… but I won’t leave Lilith no matter what.”
Shangguan Bing Xue stared at him silently and then looked at Lilith before closing her eyes and saying softly, “I understand that this woman holds the first place in your heart… However, that is so today but it may not be so 5000 years from now. There is still time for many things to change… we will have an eternity of time and experience many things together.”
About 18 months ago, Bai Zemin and Shangguan Bing Xue were like cat and dog. Neither could see the other, they could not tolerate each other. However, only 18 months after they met, the two were basically inseperable and either of them felt empty when they spent a lot of time away from each other.
The two of them were the best combo on the battlefield. Their tactical understanding with Bai Zemin was something that even Lilith did not have with him.
Shangguan Bing Xue was confident that given enough time he would love her, at the very least, enough that he would not be able to keep her from his life. She hoped that love would surpass the love he had for Lilith…or else she didn’t know what she might do.
It was just at that moment when Fire Sorrow’s voice sounded in Bai Zemin’s head, forcing him to stop all conversation on the instant as there were more important things than love at the moment.
Love was very important, indeed. But one needed to be alive in order to love and be loved or to fight for that love.
And with so many variants coming to Earth abruptly, Bai Zemin needed to get ready for what was about to come.
Bai Zemin said he would never leave Lilith, Shangguan Bing Xue wanted him to come to love her more than anyone else, and Lilith was willing to put aside her wishes for what she believed he would some day need.
How would it all end? Bai Zemin did not know; no one knew. Not even the most powerful Gods or Demons in the cosmos had any way of knowing.
In matters of the heart or the future, even the true ruler of the cosmos, the Soul Record, did not know what would happen tomorrow.
Everyone could only go with the flow and cling tightly to what they were not willing to lose in the ferocious tide that was sweeping them toward their inevitable destiny.
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