Black Tech Internet Cafe System

“This old immortal’s lecture is…” At this moment, Elf Queen Kellybel was also listening to the lecture standing among the elves. After corroborating it with her previous insights, she found that the lecture touched many key points. After all, for her and other pinnacle stage saint-level masters, they only needed a little nudge to step over the threshold.

“In this West Aparagodaniya Continent, even a casual old immortal living on a mountain is so powerful…?” She looked surprised. “Are all people in this place like him?”

“No wonder he’s an immortal… he’s indeed extraordinary…”

Then, her heart lurched when she thought of the gods and immortals who were going to unleash terrifying catastrophes in the mortal world. If every immortal is so powerful, doesn’t it mean that the world is doomed?

After all, this immortal resided in the forest on a mountain that even woodcutters could enter. However, when Sun Wukong was born, they had seen the Heavens, and there were many golden and radiant immortal palaces which looked super powerful.

They knew that all the immortals were powerful, but it seemed like Patriarch Subodhi wasn’t as powerful as those in the Heavenly Court.

After all, the Heavenly Court was the special place governing the gods and immortals.

I wonder if this old immortal will teach more powerful skills…

The viewers didn’t have the slightest idea about godly punishment and great tribulations, but they knew that they must learn as many skills as they could.

At this moment, Patriarch Subodhi finally asked Sun Wukong what he wanted to learn.

He listed the four divisions among his 360 heteronomous divisions, including Method, Schools, Silence, and Action.

The viewers had watched and learned some of the skills of the four divisions during the past six to seven years while Sun Wukong lived in the Cave of Slanting Moon and Three Stars.

They felt…

They are fine… Anyway, these skills were from the immortal. Regardless if this immortal was powerful or not, he was still more powerful than them. Therefore, they had all learned these skills enthusiastically.

In the past, they just copied moves from the disciples, but now…

“The patriarch is going to personally teach the Monkey King?!” In the old shops, the cultivators and warriors were thrilled.

At this moment, they heard Sun Wukong ask, “Can I gain immortality by practicing like this?”

Of course, the Method division couldn’t achieve immortality without the support of cultivation strength.

With the Schools division, he needed to choose one school from Confucianism, Buddhism, and Daoism, read scriptures, and recite prayers. Although he could achieve immortality, it was like setting a pillar inside a wall. If the mansion decays one day, the pillar would fall with it.

The Silence division consisted of cross-legged sitting, quiescence and inactivity, exercises of complete stillness, and contemplations in solitary confinement. But with this practice, immortality was like unbaked bricks on a kiln. The bricks may have been molded into shape, but if they had not been tempered by water and fire, which represents great tribulations, a heavy rain would make them crumble.

As for the practice to achieve long life through alchemy and taking elixirs, it seemed to be a way to gain immortality but could only extend one’s life. After all, who could really make an immortality elixir? With this practice, immortality was just an illusion like the moon in the water.

“Then, I won’t learn these divisions!” The viewers watched as Sun Wukong refused to learn any of these divisions.

“Aiya! How come Sun Wukong refused to learn any of them?!” The viewers were confused.

After all, for average people, it seemed impossible that they would see the day when Confucianism, Buddhism, and Daoism crumpled or the great tribulations in which even gods and immortals couldn’t escape their demise. Therefore, they thought that the situations such as ‘setting a pillar inside a wall’ or ‘unbaked bricks in a kiln’ that the patriarch mentioned were just exaggerations!

“No… the patriarch is angry!” In various shops such as the Jiuhua City Shop and the Yuanyang City Shop, the cultivators stared at the screens, afraid that Patriarch Subodhi would get angry and kick the monkey out. Then, they wouldn’t be able to learn skills either.

Sure enough, Patriarch Subodhi left in a huff after hitting Wukong three times on the head with a ruler.

Then, it was midnight, and the monkey sneaked into the patriarch’s room.

“Hey-!” The viewers sighed heavily, feeling anxious.

“He can’t learn anything this way!” Gu Tingyun sighed heavily.

“He brought it onto himself!” Su Tianji commented.

“If he doesn’t get kicked out for doing this, I will eat three pounds of poop on livestream!” Song Qingfeng was also watching the TV Series with his classmates from Lingyun Academy.

At this moment, Patriarch Subodhi was asleep with his body curled up, facing the wall.

The viewers held their breaths, afraid that they would alert the patriarch, and the latter would jump up from the bed and kick out this monkey with a beating.

At this moment, the asleep patriarch suddenly said something.

The monkey wasn’t startled, but the elves shrunk their necks!

Alarmed, the cultivators took several steps back, afraid that the patriarch would cast some powerful immortal spells.

At this moment, Patriarch Subodhi said, “Since you have solved the riddle, come closer and listen carefully. I’ll teach you the wondrous way of immortality.”

Then, he chanted a pithy formula.

“This bold, secret saying that’s wondrous and true; spare and nurse nature and life – there’s nothing else.”

“…

“Squeeze the Five Phases jointly, use them back and forth – when that’s done, be a Buddha or immortal at will!”

There were only eight sentences, but the viewers felt as if eight years had passed…

“This pithy formula… it is… really the wondrous way of immortality-?!” After a long while, someone yelled hoarsely.

“My goodness-!”

“Hiss-! Such a lofty and wondrous pithy formula…”

“Can we learn this…!?”

“Huh? What do the words mean?” Gu Tingyun looked baffled…

He turned to Zong Wu who was beside him. “Did you understand?”

“Not yet…” Zong Wu shook his head repeatedly.

“Huh…? This…?! ‘The moon holds the jade rabbit, the sun, the crow; the tortoise and snake are now tightly entwined.’ What does it mean?” Even Nalan Hongwu was confused.

“‘You’ll face the elixir platform, enjoying the moon…’ What does it mean?” On the other side, Lan Yan looked at Nalan Mingxue beside her in confusion and asked.

“Um…”

While they talked, they saw the monkey stepping on clouds and beginning to fly.

“Look at that, guys…” Song Qingfeng pointed at Sun Wukong.

“Huh…?”

“F*ck!?”

“He has mastered it…?!” The viewers stared with widened eyes in stupefaction.

They were totally no match for him!

Then, the patriarch taught Sun Wukong the 72 transformations.

He transformed into a pine tree!

“Ya-!?” (⊙ˍ⊙)

Cloud Somersault!

One somersault moved him forward for 108,000 li!

[TL Note: Li (Chinese miles). 108,000 li is equal to 34,884 kilometres.]

“Wow-?!””Σ(っ°Д°;)っ

“Aya-!” The elves looked at each other.

“We haven’t learned any of them-!”

“He’s got such awesome talents?” The cultivators and warriors were dumbfounded.

By now, it had been over 20 years since Sun Wukong left Flower-Fruit Mountain. But for the viewers, it was just a short while.

He had spent over ten years searching for the way of immortality through hardships, seven years learning ceremonious greetings and doctrines from his senior brothers to build the foundation, and then three years to practice Dao and solidify what he had learned.

“After this… how powerful is he now…!?”

“I forbit you ever to mention that you are my disciple. I’ll never see you again.” Before the Cave of Slanting Moon and Three Stars, the master and disciple parted. “Off with you…”

“Why did he kick away his disciple after teaching him…” The cultivators felt sad as they watched Sun Wukong shed tears.

But eventually, he had to accept the decision with regret.

The viewers had followed him, witnessed the hardships that he had withstood in search for a master and Dao, and shared his joy in finding the Immortal Dao.

Now, they felt his deep feelings for his master.

Despite his naughtiness and unruliness, he was sincere and candid.

Like the most precious treasure in the great world, he gathered all the essence in the Heaven and Earth.

Smart and nimble, he made the boring talk of doctrines among disciples and the long wait throughout the midnight quite amusing.

Gradually, the viewers grew to like this monkey even though it was only a ‘reckless ape’ in his senior brothers’ eyes and a ‘mischievous monkey’ as the patriarch called him.

Reluctantly, he kowtowed to his master and said farewell before returning to Flower-Fruit Mountain in the Eastern Ocean.

Cloud Somersault!

An immortal legend from the ancient nation named Huaxia in the distant east began!

[TL Note: Huaxia is the ancient name for China.]