Back Then, I Adored You

More than a month ago, he had mistreated her without acknowledging how much it must have hurt her; he had slept with her when he was drunk because of little troublemaker.

Looking back, he now realized that she had always been deeply in love with him, but he had only used her love to hurt her.

He had fallen in love three times, and it had always been with the same girl, and this is the girl he loves now. He wanted her to spend the rest of her life with him.

Similar to how some things happen in ways that could make people laugh or cry, so too he had only come to appreciate these things about her after she was gone.

Things didn’t work out just like eight years ago, when she had asked him out for a movie for the first time, but that day he had been hospitalized after getting involved in his parents’ fighting. If he had gone out with her that day, he might have stayed with her and given up his dream.

It was just like one year ago when she had come to see him in Shanghai. By then he knew she was the body double and wanted to see her in Beijing. They had agreed to meet at Pudong Airport, but he’d missed the opportunity.

A boy had fallen into the water and, as a soldier, Gu Yusheng strongly believed in helping others. After he’d woken up from the coma, he’d realized that accident had made him miss seeing her. If he had not saved that boy that day, he would not have missed her again as he had eight years earlier.

Maybe it was just like she’d said. They had strong feelings toward one another, but they were not meant to be together. And he had hurt her so much that he felt ashamed to bother her again after she had begun a new life.

Gu Yusheng smoked one cigarette after another on his office chair until his throat became dry and sore. He straightened his back and picked up a piece of clean white paper from the desk and started to write a letter to A.

He could not let her go. He wanted to try one more time. If she had any uncertainty about her decision, he had to win her over.

Gu Yusheng was slow to get to the point, as his mind still wandered and he was not fully recovered yet. After managing to write a few hundred words of pleasantries and banal news, he finally asked, “A, can you really let go of the guy you have loved for your entire youth?”

“A, I am happy for you that you have started a new life. You have my blessing. I could read between the lines that this new adventure seems very important to you.”

…

Qin Zhi’ai received her visa as planned on Monday. This was her final task before being ready to fly overseas.

As it was almost March, the sunlight was mild and the breeze was cool. Branches were swinging lazily in the wind. Qin Zhi’ai wanted to walk around A High School when she saw the weather was so nice after exiting the Bureau of Exit and Entry Administration.

The school had already started its new school year, and Qin Zhi’ai could hear the students reciting in their classrooms as she walked to the school gate.

Students from two PE classes were out on the track, and two students were sneaking out of the building.

Through the crystal-clear window in the lab classroom, Qin Zhi’ai could see the students excitedly engaged in an experiment under the teacher’s watchful eye.