Am I A God?

“Where’s that stupid brat? Fish Ball!” Zhao Yao scrambled down the alley in search of him. Whenever a supercat or apostle met him, they would instantly move to a side and let Zhao Yao pass. They would even nod in his direction or say hello.

It seemed like every contestant had acknowledged the headless horseman’s strength, even though it might just be an act.

After spending 10 minutes rummaging through the cabins, Zhao Yao finally found himself outside a room, with music blasting from within. He slowly pushed the door open and was greeted by the sight of tens of cats dancing to the disco lights twinkling in the room.

Fish Ball stood in the middle of the room with lights shining from his paws. A frown appeared on his face when he noticed Zhao Yao and he responded by shouting, “Alright, alright, it’s time to leave!” Because of the overwhelming music, he even had to slam against the wall before repeating, “Everyone, stop what you’re doing! Switch off the music and leave now!”

Naturally, the supercats dared not defy his orders since the headless horseman was already here.

Zhao Yao knew something was amiss when he noticed the boxes strewn all over the floor. He lifted them up one by one and saw heaps of catmint beneath it before commanding, “Everyone, squat down and put your hands behind your head.” A frown crept up his face as he continued, “I want all the female cats to raise their paws.”

Immediately, an entire row of cats raised their paws. Zhao Yao could not help but mutter, “No wonder there were so few cats at the blind date. At first, I thought it was a simple gender disparity problem. I didn’t expect all of them to be hiding here. I guess this is just a surprise gift for me.”

“What are all of you doing down here?” Zhao Yao roared.

All their eyes instantaneously swept towards Fish Ball.

“Master Fish Ball told us to come down here and have some fun.”

“He said that he was going to show us his precious family heirloom!”

“He even said that he had prepared some gifts for us!”

Zhao Yao immediately rolled his eyes when he heard all that nonsense, but he could not help but admit, “I didn’t expect this Fish Ball to be so good with girls.” With that, he lifted Fish Ball off the ground and instructed the female cats, “I want all of you to go back up. I heard there’s a tall, handsome and rich male cat organizing a blind date.”

“Huh! Really?”

“Of course! I heard that he is a mix between twelve of the most beautiful pedigrees! His fur is even softer than down feather while his eyes are brighter than the brightest star shining in the night sky. Also, his family has fortunes that you cannot possibly imagine! Every day, he wakes up to a one hundred square meters cat bed before spending his time training and eating the freshest fish caught from the depths of the ocean.”

All the female cat’s eyes sparkled with excitement after hearing Zhao Yao’s captivating description and instantly broke into chatters.

Meanwhile, Fish Ball mustered his most amiable smile and looked fondly in Zhao Yao’s direction, “My dear Zhao Yao, is there anything that I can help you with?”

“Be a light bulb.”

Fish Ball was left dumbfounded by Zhao Yao’s answer but simply followed Zhao Yao all the way up before getting thrown right in front of Matcha. Zhao Yao slammed his hand against the back of his head and instructed, “On.”

With Fish Ball all lit up, he slammed his hand once again before instructing, “Off.”

“Are you happy now?” Zhao Yao asked with his eyes glued to Matcha, “Can you continue with the blind date?”

Fish Ball’s appearance brought instant joy to Matcha’s face. He quickly sprang to his feet before slapping his paw against Fish Ball. Instantly, Fish Ball’s head lit up.

“Not bad. I really have to give it to you.” Matcha returned to his seat with a gleeful smile plastered on his face. Suddenly, he started screaming again, “Can I have a swivel chair?” Zhao Yao let out a sigh of despair before grabbing a knife from his belly and slammed it against the table.

“Meowhahaha! It was just a joke! Why so serious?” Matcha forced an awkward smile in an attempt to make the situation less tense. He then cocked his head towards the female cat and asked, “Oh yes, may I have your name?”

Zhao Yao’s temple throbbed with anger when he witnessed just how cocky Matcha was. However, the thought of completing the mission and upgrading his BOOK stopped him from doing anything too drastic. He was just going to let things slide for now.

The orange cat replied excitedly, “My name is baby. I’m currently two years old. Actually, I don’t have a full-time job but I spend my free time working as a pet cat. I love to suntan and …”

“Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop” Matcha stretched his body forward before slapping his paw against Fish Ball. With that, the light emanating from his head dimmed down as Matcha sneered, “Nothing special at all. Also, you look like a village cat. For that, you’re out. Get lost.”

Meow! Matcha’s cruel words brought tears to the innocent cat’s eyes. This further infuriated Zhao Yao as he sent another slap flying towards Matcha, “What the hell are you doing? I told you to maintain a good relationship with every single cat here!”

Matcha acted all pitiful and replied, “I already have the light. Shouldn’t I try to turn it off?”

Matcha’s words only managed to add fuel to the fire as Zhao Yao retorted, “One last chance. Leave a good impression on all of them. Understood?”

…

Suddenly, an extraordinarily elegant Persian cat appeared with her body bathed in snow white skin. She hesitated to open her mouth before saying, “My name is …”

“You have passed!” Matcha interrupted her and slammed his paw against his chest, “You do not have to speak! I’m so touched by your sincerity.”

Matcha’s word caught the cat by surprise as she remarked, “But I haven’t even told you my name …”

Matcha threw his paws in the air and replied, “No need for that! True sincerity need not be conveyed through words! I have already heard everything through my heart.”

After saying that, Matcha collapsed to the ground with his limbs all stretched apart, in spreadeagle position, “Your opportunity has arrived! I’m giving you one minute to lick me! You can lick wherever you want!”

“Er…” The Persian cat started inching away from Matcha before saying, “I think I’m going to give it a pass. I don’t think we are that compatible.”

A smile crept up Matcha’s face when he noticed that cat escaping from his clutches. He sniggered, “Are you shy? Zhao Yao, can I bring her home? I think she is already hopelessly in love with me!”

“Bring your ass!” Zhao Yao retaliated with another slap and continued, “Listen to me. I have given you the best opportunities but you can’t even get a single cat!”

…

Suddenly, Tiny had made her way inside and was rather embarrassed when she found herself next to Matcha. With her face all red, she said, “Hi, King George.”

“Oh, it’s you?” Matcha simply reacted by slapping his paw against Fish Ball’s head nonchalantly.

Zhao Yao could not believe his eyes and decided to take matters into his own hand. By controlling Matcha, he said, “Tiny, I like you.”

“Huh?” Somehow, her face managed to turn even redder as she stammered, “But, I, I, I, I …”

“There is no but. I have seen many female cats but I only love you. Wait for me outside. I’ll be with you the moment I’m done.”

A contented smile appeared on Tiny’s face. She left the place as joy filled her like sunshine.

Zhao Yao could finally breathe a sigh of relief and muttered, “At least we managed to get one.” He looked towards Matcha before speaking condescendingly, “Do you see that? That’s how you do it.”

However, none of the remaining cats even expressed a hint of affection for Matcha.

“I think I prefer Master Fish Ball …”

“I really think Master Fish Ball is more handsome than you.”

The corner of Matcha’s lips gradually drooped downwards with the flood of negative comments.

“Master Fish Ball is so handsome with the lights shining from his paws.”

“Can I bring him away?”

Matcha pointed his finger at the door furiously, “Get lost! Now! Right now!”

Fish Ball simply reveled in happiness as the cats continued to rain praises at him.

“Where is the next cat? Get the next one in right now!”

Roly Poly could not help but laugh at his predicament, “She was the last one.”

“Huh? How can that happen? Isn’t it the survival of the fittest? With my superpower, I should be the most popular cat around! How can this possibly happen? Why is this happening to me?”